


The Onyx Czar

by FlaminiaK



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Age Difference, Harm to Children, Human Trafficking, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kidnapping, M/M, Mental Instability, Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, RPG nerds, Slavery, Top!Aoi, bottom!Uruha, reituki is a thing here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-01-29 14:19:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 27
Words: 79,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12632829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlaminiaK/pseuds/FlaminiaK
Summary: Takashima Kouyou is a normal country boy.He loves to play RPG tabletop games with his friends, he strive to help his numerous family with the horses at their ranch and has quite good grades.But one day, Kouyou’s mother sent him to greet their new neighbor: a mysterious man with long black hair, shiny dark eyes, moonlight-pale skin and a sardonic character.He, Kouyou gasped, eerily resembled the antagonist of Kouyou's last roleplay campaign.The Onyx Czar.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Made this after @cancerianwastelandcat on tumblr wished for an Aoiha and my cat woke me up at 6AM the day after making my mind sprout this sorta prompt? xD  
> I couldn't wait to post it, I LOVE top!Aoi =w= and these things between thriller and paranormal shit ♥  
> Enjoy~
> 
> -Edit- This fic took a life on its own and the paranormal part completely flew out of the window xD Sorry!

_“You need to escape from here! We can manage on our own, you have to alert the King!”_

_“Shut up Kai! Use that damn dagger and free us! I can’t use my magic if I’m tied up like a roast!”_

_“But Ruki, he’s the only one with +5 Agility! He’ll run faster than any of us combined!”_

“C’mon Shimmy-pants, roll the dice~”

Kouyou took the metal D-20 in his fingers, sending a little scowl to Akira for the little nickname he always gave him.

He then proceeded to stroke it with his fingertips, feeling every number carved in it while thinking what to do: go warn the King and convince him to give him some backup guards with his +8 Charm… or remain and use his daggers to free the rest of his party?

He only had a bunch of HP left and it might be dangerous, but Takanori made his “Ruki” a Necromancer for a reason and Yutaka had his healer “Kai” with still some Mana left… “Shima-Shims, we’re all going to sleep here! Speed up the mental process please” Akira prodded him again, slumping on the table.

“I’ll stay and try to free you both… if I’ll get something higher than twelve, I’ll even manage to get back some health” Kouyou said while juggling the dice in his hollow fist.

He always was a sucker for gambling, and there was their honor at stake here, along with lotsa loot!

Kouyou pouted his full lips before throwing the dice in the middle of the table, on a velvety scrap of fabric Yutaka managed to find somewhere in his attic. “C’moooon…! C’mooooon!” Takanori growled with both his hands gripping the table.

## /13\

The three adventurers cheered, hands in the air and Yutaka almost hugged Kouyou out of relief. “You’re almost at the end of the maze and you can see the sparkle of gold and gemstones at the end of the corridor, but alas…” Akira chuckled devilish, his amber eyes looking at them through his bleached-blond fringe.

He was the designed Master for that day and he always wanted to make them sweat for their damn prizes. “There’s also a throne in the treasure room. A silver one with shiny black skulls on each armrest…!” Akira continued to speak, rising a hand to wriggle his fingers.

“Oh fuck don’t tell me…!” Takanori exhaled, clawing his black-rimmed glasses. “The Onyx Czar is waiting for the three of you that managed to beat his traps! You’ll engage into battle or talk your way out?” Akira now laughed maniacally and both Takanori and Yutaka moaned.

Kouyou blushed a little, instead, while brushing a honey-blond lock of hair behind his ear: he always loved the Onyx Czar with a passion –it was his fictional crush par excellence– but he never managed to approach him so much before.

The three of them started to bicker louder and louder, with Ruki wanting to barge in and hit his face with his own “big-ass Black Tome” and with Kouyou that wanted to talk to the Czar into help them out –and maybe get some romance out of it–. “Guys~ You’re too noise up there!” a sweet voice stopped their loud ones and Yutaka chuckled a little, nervous. “Sorry mooom~” he replied.

The woman then opened the door of Yutaka’s room and smiled at the four teenagers, bringing them some grape juice and fries.

She and Yutaka were like twins, both with those reddish-brunette hair and that dimpled, bright smile “Ah, Kouyou! Your mom called before and asked if you could get home earlier today” she spoke with calmness and Kou sighed.

It was going to be dark soon anyway, with the winter quickly approaching, so it was better if he started to walk home. “You can’t leave now! We’re about to kick the Czar’s butt!” Takanori exclaimed, toning down his insults to not shock too much Yuta’s mother.

The honey-blond teenager smiled apologetically to them, standing up. “Sorry… but I promise we’ll continue from here next weekend! Probably Hellion tried to jump over the fence again…” Kouyou chuckled.

Hellion was his favorite horse in his family’s ranch, a champagne-colored, brown freckled Appaloosa horse and she had the most sweet chestnut eyes Kouyou ever saw in his life. “We’ll stop this campaign here then, we’ll wait for ya” Akira relaxed in the beanbag he was sitting on, sipping some of the grape juice.

Takanori grabbed instead a couple of french fries, biting them harshly before pointing his friend with what remained of it. “Remember to bring me back my english notebook tomorrow! You forgot it twice in a row this week” he mumbled.

Kouyou nodded, waved goodbye to everyone and then he ran out of Yutaka’s house, jumping on his bike to reach his home before the sunset stopped to paint the sky red.

The countryside around him was sizzling with life, big fields of corn on one side of the road and the grouped-together houses of the city center: the town they all lived it was small and warm, with just a couple of grocery stores, one diner and one arcade with a couple of bowling alley inside of it.

There was their school near the town hall and outside the ringlet of more modern homes, ranches and farms peppered the zone for what the eyes could meet.

Kouyou’s home was one of the most famous ranches of the region not for the quantity of cattle they could produce, but for the quality of both their horses and vegetables.

His father even sold some of their creatures to vip in the racecourse department and his mother made jams and pies every year for any kind of event, selling them by the pound.

His two older brothers were still in college and his two little sisters were still to young to give a real hand at home, so he was the only one feeling the burden of that lifestyle.

It was hard sometimes, especially during harvest time, but Kouyou loved the countryside and the quiet that governed most of the time.

The silence of the early wintery mornings and the crickets in the summer nights.

Then there were his friends, that sometimes helped him out with the horses or with commissions downtown when it was all too much to bear.

Akira’s family ran one of the grocery stores in the main plaza and the two kids met at a really young age, when the parents started to buy and sell each others’ materials.

Kouyou’s father sold to the Suzuki fresh fruits and vegetables, while Akira’s father sold to the Takashima farm tools, milk and flour.

Both of them met Yutaka at the elementary school, when their new Literature teacher –his mother– brought her son in that new town after a messy divorce and they grew up particularly fond of each other.

The Matsumoto family was something a little different and the three of them met Takanori when he was allowed to enroll into the town’s middle school: they were a traditional type of family, closed up in their own beliefs, but Takanori’s father was a hard worked in the mines and his mother worked in the town’s little cotton factory, so they tried their best for their son.

Kouyou was really grateful for having such splendid and understanding friends and if something ever happened to even one of them, the other three were going to burn everything to the ground.

Pedaling quickly towards his home, Kouyou’s eyes got snatched from a light filtering through the windows of the always empty house near his barn.

There was someone there? Finally someone bought that old building? It was a small, but two-floored independent house, but it seemed that whoever was in, just arrived.

The roof still had a couple of holes in it and the wooden exterior walls still had cracked paint peeling off.

Kouyou slowed down when he reached the gates of his home and getting off the bike he saw his mother starting to walk towards him. “Ah, you’re back…! I need to close the barn, go fetch an apple pie and give our greetings to the neighbor!” she hastily kissed his forehead before jogging towards the still open barn.

Awwwww not again~

The same story every time someone new started to live near their house: apple pie and few words of greeting to the new family that, at the end of the year, probably would already leave.

Their town was renowned for their splendid spring and summer, for the clean water and thriving forests that peppered the mountains around, but in the winter all the zone always got covered in –at least– a couple of feet of snow.

That was why no one ever lived more than a year there, beside the native residents. “But ma! Why didn’t you send Hanako to give the greeting?! I was with my friends~” Kouyou pouted his lips, but his mother was too far or ignoring him anyway.

With a deep sigh the boy walked back to his home, strolling inside the kitchen filled with the good scent of pie and jams of every kind.

Even the wooden floor was cluttered with big basins filled with old woolly scarves wrapping bottles of handmade tomato sauce, still hot.

October was a busy month for all of them and seeing bundle of odorous plants already hanging from the far end of the big, long wooden sideboard that ran along the wall in front of him.

The counter on his left was filled with apple pies, the scent of cinnamon making his mouth water.

Kouyou’s mother loved to make those pies as beautiful as they were good and so the honey-blond snatched one decorated with flowers made with scrap dough and walked away, rising the hood of his sweater to fight back the cold that the night was laying on them all.

Kouyou strode briskly towards the neighboring house, seeing a shadow marching back and forth behind the windows, but something made Kou’s feet slow down, stopping just outside the portico of the building: each panel glass of every window seemed to be covered with journal pieces taped together, letting just a dim light pass through it.

Strange… maybe they were re-painting the walls and didn’t want to leave unnecessary stains?

Kouyou climbed the three little steps of the porch and slowly knocked on the door a couple of time.

Then he waited… and waited, trying to warm his own fingers with the foil plate where the pie was resting in, but anyone came to open the door.

The teenager frowned just a pinch, before knocking again with increased force: he wanted to go back to his room and change into more comfy clothes, maybe sit near the radiator with a good sci-fi book. “ _Yeah! yeah ‘mma comin’…! Fucking hell…_ ” a muffled, husky voice came from the other side of the door and few seconds after, Kouyou felt his heart stop.

Encased by the door frame there was a man slightly shorter than him with long, disheveled black hair contouring his almost sickly-pale face.

His eyes were two dark pearls shining in the light coming from inside the house and his chiseled lips were stretched into a scowl.

Broad shoulders, dark clothes hanging on them like they were too big for him and a simple, silver necklace circled his throat.

In comparison, the honey-blond felt like he had twigs for arms, instead of those well turned muscles now visible thanks to the rolled-up sleeves of the stranger’s shirt.

Kouyou noticed that he had a black and white bracelet on his left wrist, made out of plastic beads shaped like stars, and an oversized roll of masking tape around the right forearm. “What do you want” he barked to the boy and Kouyou immediately gulped, trembling on the spot.

He tried to speak to him, but the man immediately grunted “I don’t buy shit from ya girl scouts even without the cutesy uniform” he growled and before Kouyou could even move, the door shut with a bang few inches away from his nose.

The honey-blond was completely befuddled by the strange events and he blinked a few times before he tried to knock again.

Girl Scouts his ass! What an asshole… but he seemed so much like…!

If Kouyou could give a face to his beloved Onyx Czar, it would be pretty similar to the one he just saw. “What. The fuck. Do you want! I’m busy here!” now the completely raging tone from the man scared him so much Kouyou made a step back when his neighbor opened the door again.

C’mon… you have +8 Charm, you can do it…!

The boy swallowed emptily, feeling his mouth dry. “Sorry to disturb” he spoke, his voice low both in tone and in volume. “I live in that ranch and my parents sends our regards… we hope you’re staying well here” Kou pointed behind his back towards his home, then stretched the apple pie towards the man like a piece of meat in front of a feral wolf.

For a moment there was only silence and Kouyou could perfectly see the man completely taken aback: surely he had soft features and looked a lot like his mother, but being exchanged for a girl happened rarely.

Maybe were his full, plush lips? Or the long, light locks that now where nestled inside the hoodie? Or his long lashed framing his almond-shaped eyes… “Ah” was the single sound that came out of the stranger’s throat.

He shifted his stance in a less menacing one and crossed his arms on his toned chest, arching his back just slightly. “Well you could say that immediately, kid” the man barked to him.

Swiftly he stole the pie from Kouyou’s hands and held it with one palm under it, while the other ran to grasp the door knob. “Sorry for being an ass earlier, but I don’t like people. Give my thanks to your parents and go to bed” his face softened for a moment and those sharp eyes seemed drowning into a distant, incomprehensible sadness.

With that parting greeting, his neighbor closed the door a little slower this time, taking the pie with him, and Kouyou felt his lungs start to move properly again: he knew that anguish, the hopelessness of a lonesome monarch.

He ran back home only to boot up his computer and write a quick message to his friends in a single group-chat.

[I’ve just met Aoi, the Onyx Czar!!1!!1]  
[He’s my bloody neighbor!!! /(*A*)\\]

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where we meet Hellion and few other strange things in the woods!

A week passed and Kouyou's eyes never stopped glancing at his neighbor’s house.

Windows still covered, not a soul in sight and only sometimes the teen could see the form of a battered gray pickup leaving from time to time, creating a cloud of dust from the dirt road.

Honestly Kouyou always hoped to bump into the man to just see his face again, but when he told everything to his friends, all of them just laughed. “Too much roleplay Shima!” Akira patted his friend's back, while they were walking around the city center, after school. “My mother saw him too the other day, walking around the factory” Takanori mumbled, not too much happy about it.

Yutaka chuckled, with his naive expression turning brighter. “Well if this guy just moved it, he could probably need a job too, no?” he spoke with a matter-of-fact tone and the four of them nodded.

“Yeah, probably” Kouyou whispered, thoughtful.

But he couldn’t stop to chew on his bottom lip “But you know… his house is really odd! I mean… he blocked every single window with paper and the lights always turned on even in the middle of the night” the honey-blond continued to mutter to them, fixing the backpack on his shoulder with a little tug.

Kouyou was still pushing his bike along the sidewalk, though, trying to not hit the pedals with his ankles.

Akira sneered at him, grinning maliciously. “And what are you doing up in the middle of the night looking at you neighbor’s house?” he mumbled with a smirk and immediately Kouyou felt his cheeks blush vividly, making Takanori laugh so hard he almost choked himself to death. “Leave him be, Aki-chan! He’s still single, you don’t understand!” Yutaka came in defense of the taller, slapping the bleached-blond on the shoulder rather hard.

Their little group laughed even more now, before Kouyou stopped on his tracks, eyes caught by a little shine inside the diner near them.

The little reflection of a silver necklace flickered in his hazel eyes and the teenager's heart fastened a bit in his chest.

There he was, the man of mystery, sat inside the ‘Lemon Grass’ Diner, browsing some papers he had in his hands with a couple of big, smoky cups on the linoleum table in front of him.

His face was even tireder than the first time they met and Kouyou found himself wonder if that man even slept at night… “Oh shit… Kou’s right” Takanori mumbled, gripping both Akira’s shoulders to hoist himself up, checking out the guy “He’s handsomely dangerous even from here”.

Yutaka tilted his head, he too was spying the stranger with a little, devilish smile. “Ohhhh now I got it why you talk about him so much, Kou-chan~” he chanted and Kou's face flushed even more than before.

Under the brighter artificial light inside the diner, more details peppered the man's appealing face: his shoulder-length hair were slightly frizzled and wavy –as if he just woke up from a restless night–, his face was covered in a light stubble and under his eyes there were deep, dark circles.

But all of that just added to the natural beauty he was, his brows furrowed, his gaze focused on what he had in his hands and those dark irises shining with intelligence.

Kouyou even noticed a little beauty-mark that bobbed up and down near his Adam’s apple, when he sipped what appeared to be coffee. “We’ll leave you two alone~?” Akira’s finger poke his friend's side before he started to fake-walking away.

The honey-blond immediately snapped back to reality and puffed his cheeks. “Stop teasing me!!” he shouted, face red as much as it could be. “Or I’ll take back the copy of Final Fantasy I lent you!” Kouyou threatened my best friend with an evil laugh, pointing a finger to his whitening face.

That ultimatum always worked with Akira, the taller was quite glad he had something to blackmail him in these cases.

Especially when he teased him for his lack of relationships “Awwww you’re so mean Shimmy-pants! I just wanted to give you space with your Daddy~” the bleached-blond giggled, before ducking and starting to run away from a punch that would’ve probably hit him in the forehead.

Yutaka was laughing uncontrollably at the sight of the two jokingly fight and Takanori was just waiting for his boyfriend to stop being a wuss, when the smaller felt a prickle at the back of his neck.

He forgot about Akira -held down into a headlock under Kouyou's armpit- and Takanori's eyes trailed back at the diner again, seeing the dark man gazing at them.

His face was barely directed to the window, but he was watching every one of the teenagers with long stares, like he was… studying them.

His lips pursed shut, his pupils almost invisible in those dark irises and when he laid his gaze on Kouyou, Takanori couldn’t give a name to the sense of dread he felt along his spine.

The Onyx Czar… it was fiction, he was well aware of that, but the guy was so similar to what they all pictured… it was almost eerie. “Taka-chan!! Help me out babe!” Akira’s cry for help yanked the smaller's attention from the man and he noticed how Kouyou was just chuckling, squeezing at his boyfriend's neck.

The shorter then rolled his eyes and together with Yutaka convinced their offended friend to free Akira from Kouyou's unmoving hold, promising him to treat him at the arcade the next day as a peace offering.

“You better pay up in sounding coins, because I need to break my record again!” the taller grinned at them, looking how they bowed in front of him.

~ ~ ~

Back home, Kouyou ran towards his room because he couldn’t wait a minute more to change up in his comfy sweatpants.

The teenager wanted to return to his watch duty over the neighboring house, but before he could manage to touch the door knob of the bedroom, Kouyou heard his father call to him from the base of the staircase.

He seemed in a hurry, when the younger leaned over the wooden railings “Hellion got over the fence again!” he was grabbing his heavy coat and the keys of his truck.

Kouyou puckered out his lips: ' _why can’t I have some peaceful time in this house?'_ “Can’t you go–” “I need to take both Starshine and Goliath to the vet now and your mother is with the twins at the teacher-parent thing” he looked up at his son with his ‘don’t whine’ look and Kouyou's pout increased.

After few seconds, the teenager hung his head forward and sighed heavily, groaning an _ok, coming_ while getting off the staircase.

He grabbed his leathery chaps from the cupboard under the steps and run outside with his father closing the door behind himself “Your mother will home soon, so while you wait close the barn and the stables” he ordered hurriedly.

Sitting on the porch, Kouyou wore the half-open trousers over his normal leggings and tightened the belt around his waist, then he stood up fixing his long sweater over them, shivering in the coldness of the dying day.

The teen ran to the back of our house, where there were the stables and he heard his father’s truck start up, rumbling in the garage.

Kouyou barely saw it leave with their youngest horses in the horse trailer on the back, while he jumped over the fence, and he jogged in the tall grass that enveloped both their farm and their neighbor’s back garden.

Hellion was nowhere to be found and even if she always strolled just feet away from the ranch, this time the horse was missing from her usual places she wandered to. “HELLION! HELLY WHERE ARE YOU?” Kouyou shouted with his hands around his mouth, turning his head left and right.

There weren’t footprints of her hooves but there was a trail of crunched grass that leaded directly inside the big pine-wood that circled the entire town and that wasn’t a great news.

Wolves were ferocious this time of the year, because they had to eat up as much as they could before the winter would come and Hellion was just a naive, sweet mare…!

With his heart thumbing just behind his throat, Kouyou started to run faster and faster towards the forest, never stopping to call her name.

It was almost the ending of sunset and the light was quickly fading beyond the horizon, taking with it all the faint warmth it could still give.

With his feet scrambling on the underbrush, Kou kept scanning the deepening darkness with his warm eyes, hoping to see his beloved horse as soon as possible, maybe hear her chuffed greeting above his shoulder.

But only silence enveloped his ears, pressing on them almost painfully.

It was driving him insane, the amount of cold that was rising from the earth like an invisible, damp mist, gripping at the arms and legs like dead hands.

Crooning his head, Kouyou gave a side-glance over his shoulders and there his heart stopped for a second: his home's lights were nowhere to be found, in that sea of trees… He needed to find Hellion immediately and hope that she would be able to find her way back to the stables, leading him in the meantime…!

“HELLION! C’mon baby, where are you?? HELLIO–!” Kouyou's voice got stuck into the back of his throat, when he stumbled over an exposed root.

“Ah–! Fuck!”

He fell forward almost face-first, and his body hit the ground hard, sliding few inches on the dirt… and something made a hollow rumbling sound under his side.

Almost… metallic. “What the hell…?” the honey-blond mumbled under his breath, massaging a really painful, bruised arm for few moments.

Then Kouyou moved his hands to sweep away pine needles and dirt in front of his folded knees.

Freezing-cold iron met his palm and rusted rivets slided underneath his fingertips: it seemed like a big hatchback with some numbers and letters carved in it.

**1-8-//-/-WEL/S/NG–//MIN/H/FT-/-0-8**

Names and dates seemed badly scratched away, but it wasn't clear if it was the work of a human, animal or mere time.

It was dirty and smelt like rotten mushroom, but the hinges were still well-oiled… strangely shiny. “OYE!” a gruff voice made Kouyou jump out of his skin and looking at his right, he saw a figure strolling towards him.

His hazel eyes widened along with his heart, when he saw it was the Czar’s double.

The man was walking with his hand in Hellion’s ashy mane, gripping on it to guide her since she didn’t have any bridles on. “Your fucking horse was on my porch…! Why the hell did ya run out here??” he left the animal alone before approaching the younger with a menacing pace.

Stretching a hand, the stranger grabbed the teenager by his scruff and hoisted him on his own feet. “Fucking kids… your parents should fix their fucking eyeballs on ya” he mumbled, passing his dark irises on Kouyou's shivering body up and down a couple of times.

He was… checking out something, but the teen didn't know what, exactly.

Kouyou was taller than him, physically, but the man always seemed to tower over him with his very essence.

He was crushing Kouyou with his eyes alone. “My folks aren’t home… and… Hellion… she ran away, so I had to–!” the teenager tried to explain himself under his inscrutable gaze, his voice weak and shaky “I don’t fucking care… move your ass kid, I’m taking ya home”.

Kouyou didn’t move when his neighbor turned his back to him, because the younger's brain was still absorbing everything that happened in that short span of time.

He was alone, scared and the black-haired man arrived like a knight to rescue the damsel in distress… how much of a coincidence could that be? “So?? God-fucking-damn, kid! Are you deaf or what??” the older barked that sentence while stopping, slightly turning around to watch Kouyou's face, and the honey-blond returned on Planed Earth in a split second.

Grabbing Hellion’s mane, he hastily followed him among the trees, feeling the big muzzle of the horse nudge his elbow. “Ouch… yeah I missed you too” Kouyou whispered to her with a smile, cuddling her nose.

Aoi –Kouyou thought he should call him like that since he don’t know his real name…– slowed down his pace to make the younger catch up on him and when they both in the big, grassy field between the forest and their homes, the older glanced at Kouyou.

The man was studying him again, like that afternoon near the diner. “You should check out that knee, probably you hit it badly” he snarled, twisting his lips “Fucking clumsy brat…” he added under his breath, but even if the words were harsh, the tone was almost… sad.

Kouyou cocked his head on one side, before looking down to his left knee: it was aching, yes, but not as much as his elbow and probably he just collected a handful of multicolored bruises on his lithe skin. “I’m fine… uhm… I…” the teen mumbled while speaking to his neighbor, biting his own lip again.

Aoi started to walk away towards his house, with the clear intention on leaving Kou there, but the teenager rose his hand to try and stop him, gripping the worn-out fabric of his leather jacket. “W-wait! I wanna… uuhh… thank you, sir…” the younger blurted out, hoping he wasn't asking for a fist in the face.

But _au contraire_ , Aoi looked at Kouyou with a dim light in his eyes. “Just don’t run around like that. It’s dangerous for nice-looking kids like ya, these days…” he stood motionless, the night now tinting the air with its blueish colors, moon caressing the very top or the trees.

After a time that seemed to be infinite, the older shrugged off that lanky, but soft hand and fisted his palms in the pockets of his jacket, nodding to the teenager a little goodbye. “And try to stop your fucking horse from stroll on my porch next time” he growled now grumpy again.

Kouyou blinked, his face redder and redder by the second, and his chest seemed to flood with his massive heartbeats.

_'N-Nice… looking… like me??'_

Hellion chuffed at her owner's expression, nibbling at his light hair.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember when Aoi said he would likely be a carpenter if he didn't became a guitarist?  
> Well...!

A couple of days later, Kouyou was still in a daze.

For the entirety of his free-time the boy kept thinking about that moment, analyzing again and again his posture, his face, his eyes, his voice, his words.

What did he meant?

Was he gay?

Bisexual?

Hell, a very curious straight guy?

Kou had a CHANCE with him?

But he was so older than him… the man could be his uncle’s age for what he knew!

Kouyou sighed heavily while absentmindedly brushing the sides of one of their horses, cleaning him from the dirt he rolled into a couple of hours before.

The teenager’s questions transformed into fictional dates into his mind, and those dates evolved into light kisses onto his plush lips and warm hands around his thin waist.

A possessive hold, strong as the one that got him on my feet nights before.

Teeth on the chest, down the ribs, sinking down into what Takanori called often his ‘heavenly thighs’.

Kouyou’s hand stopped and he gripped more the round brush between his fingers, almost clawing it: that daydreaming transformed him in the frail Red Riding Hood under the majestic, hard paws of the Big Bad Wolf.

He immediately shook his head, deciding that he had to stop himself, because his heart was beating so fast he thought he was gonna pass out.

And the stable wasn’t the greatest place to fall down, risking to hit the head against one of the half-doors or on some hoof rasp.

That was the hardest crush of his life, but as Akira said, that was the result of too much roleplay…

Kou knew he was just a disillusioned teen, he needed to put his head where it was needed: into his family’s farm, the school and his friends.

No fictional relationships and absolutely no more contacts with that neighbor…! “Kou! Kou, darling!” his mother called him from the kitchen’s window and turning on his axis, Kouyou saw her waving at him.

Sighing again, the teenager patted the big side of Nautilus and put the brush on the railing of that cozy enclosure.

Running back towards my home, his hazel eyes caught a shadow behind his parent, in the kitchen, but it was too far back to see who belonged to. “Darling, can you do me a favor?” she smiled when her son was within ear reach and Kou just nodded.

He could never say no to his mom, especially when she worn that innocent, all-sunshine smile. “Do you remember that hole in the barn’s roof?” she asked and immediately the boy whitened: he didn’t like heights and she knew that, why would she– “Don’t worry, I finally found someone that will repair it! Your father will be happy to know he’s officially off the hook”.

The woman giggled, seeing the relieved face of her son. “Go show the carpenter where the damage is and help him out as much as you can, ok?” she then turned to watch behind her back and immediately her sweet voice changed into a more raging one.

“GIRLS! STOP HARASSING THAT POOR MAN! I’m so sorry mister…!” she briskly walked away, probably trying to save the worker from the cute wrath of her twin little daughters and Kouyou left out a chuckle, starting to circle around the house.

It was a well-lit afternoon and the sun was high in the sky, giving off as much warmth as it could, so while the teen waited for his mom and the carpenter to pop out of the front door, he struggled to take off his sweater.

Kouyou had a long-sleeved shirt underneath it, but if he had to run back and forth to help the guy repair the roof, he felt like he needed to be more agile and with freedom of movements. “I’m so sorry, they’re a couple of tiny hurricanes…!” the teen heard his mother talk behind the front door.

Then the door clacked open in the same moment Kouyou managed to pop his head out of the sweater’s collar and there stood the man of his dreams, with a toolbox in one hand and his leather jacket on the other forearm.

A little smile was stretching his lips and his eyes were locked on the woman near him, gazing into her brown ones while speaking. “Don’t worry missus, they’re just kids. No big deal” he chuckled, before walking down the stairs of the porch.

He was completely confident, like a damn runway model, even in the simplest black t-shirt that was sporting right now. “If you or Mr. Shiroyama need something, I’ll be home until five, ok?” Kouyou’s mother now spoke to her son, but the younger completely ignored her voice, eyes following the man as he walked past him, towards the red-painted barn.

He smelt like seaside… driftwood and lavender, the sweetness of the vanilla and the saltiness of seaweed dancing together.

It was his natural perfume or something store-bought? It was so warm and Kouyou’s previous thoughts slowly crept out of their dark corner, in his mind. “Kou! Did you hear me?” a light chuckle made the teen snap back to reality.

Damn… did he wandered away again, uh? “Sorry ma…! Got it, until five” he confirmed with a little smile, then gave her his sweater and ran after Aoi, that already entered the barn in the meantime.

Kouyou couldn’t believe his luck…! Also, he didn’t know if he was happy or not to have the guy so close to him for the next, what… few hours?

When Kou grabbed the barn key from the big ring he always carried around, he jogged to Aoi’s side so he could slide the big door open. “I didn’t know you were able to smile, sir” the younger chuckled, seeing the older’s face turn sour in mere seconds.

But it seemed more like he was pouting to Kouyou’s eyes and that ignited little sparks inside the teen’s chest. “Don’t try your luck, kid” Aoi growled, only to get a grinning smile back. “And I thought you just hated people in general…!”.

The man’s face twisted into a dark, menacing scowl. “I need a job and everyone in this fucking town is sniping me dead with their eyes since day one…” he replied hastily and his voice was yes angry, but…

Kouyou detected a melancholic undertone in it. “Also, your mother bakes some good-as-fuck pies” his lips barely twitched in what was a little smirk, his eyes shifting on the teenage.

They were _burning embers,_ scorching Kouyou’s skin everywhere they passed and for a moment the man’s barely-visible pupils enlarged in the black irises, noticing how much plump those lips were. “This is my thanks to her… and I’m paid, mind you” Aoi spoke abruptly, before power-walking inside the barn.

The air was dusty and dry, big sheaves of golden hay crowded the far back of the main floor and a bunch of sharp tools were well disposed on their hooks near them.

On their left rested the plow for the big tractor, while on the right there were the stairs for the second floor.

Kou’s father used that space to cram away everything he couldn’t manage to throw away, along with the wooden planks they needed for that work. “I’m gonna check out the hole, bring me a ladder” Aoi said while hanging his leather jacket on the railings of the stairs, before climbing them with his head pointed towards the roof.

The hole was in the far-left corner of the barn, right next to a makeshift gutter and with his eyes still glued to Aoi’s back, Kouyou jogged to grab the long wooden ladder -the only one, at that- that they had.

The teenager scrambled to take the ladder to the second floor, but once there he saw Aoi crouching down near the toolbox, shifting his hands inside in search of something. “Put that there” Aoi pointed a place behind his back without even looking up.

Kou nodded, feeling the shyness starting to crowd his mind, and quickly found a holding place on the roof beams.

After a little shake to the ladder to check if it was stable enough, the younger turned to see the older a couple of inches away from his chest.

Kouyou’s body froze for a moment while gazing into his face and the teen felt like shriveling on himself because of those piercing eyes. “Move…?” Aoi snarled annoyed and Kou hastily side-stepped away to make him space.

The raven then grabbed the wooden ladder with a hand, the other one already clenched around a hammer, and started to climb it like he was without weight.

Hazel eyes followed his movements and – _oh my God–_ only in that moment Kouyou noticed that Aoi wore some worn-out dark jeans.

_Tight_ worn-out jeans, that framed his swaying hips and his long legs.

And his ass: a really manly, but plump, ass… completely the opposite compared to his own lanky, flat physic.

Kouyou blushed so hard and quick he felt his cheekbones melt off his skull: brain –he thought– stop imagining how would be like to be crushed down by that body.

Now isn’t clearly the time for an hard-on of any kind… damn raging hormones…! “Oye…!” Aoi called him quite roughly and Kouyou blinked my eyes to focus on him again.

He was half-turned on one of the last steps, one hand holding on a beam while the other was pointing the hammer down to the toolbox.

Aoi’s arms were both naked now, his t-shirt sleeves rolled up to show the crevices of nervous, firm muscles, with a tattoo on each arm.

Muscles of someone that worked all his life, not those pumped ones full of artificial proteins and bench-presses “Stop daydreamin’ kid! Pass me one of those planks and a bunch of nails” he ordered, making Kou move erratically fast.

Everything to erase from his mind –and his trousers– that vision.

He took one of the wooden slabs in his hand and searched inside the toolbox until he grasped a box of silvery nails.

Quickly, Kouyou stretched out his long arms to give Aoi everything and in complete daze the teen saw those big hands grab the other end of the plank to just block it between his lower abdomen and the ladder, so he could grab the nails.

The teen craved to be that slab of wood right now, know what was like to feel that hard…!

Kouyou closed his eyes, quickly shaking his head and thanking that the man was too focused on his work to notice him.

Aoi opened the little box of nails and put a couple of them between his lips while carefully put the rest of them on a nearby beam and the younger watched his back arch slightly when he put the lumber against the hole.

Even if he was doing something so simple as hammering some nails into the wood, his stance was incredibly elegant and Kou was able to see under his oversized shirt thanks to his leaned-back pose.

Aoi’s back was as toned as his arms were, his smooth and pale skin peppered with little, brown moles here and there.

Some of his vertebrae bumped his flesh and Kou had the instinct to touch that skin with trembling fingers: it was going to be hot or cold? He put his bet for a warm, solid feeling…

The teen’s hand stopped midair when a loud snap broke the air and the younger jolted on his feet, completely startled.

Aoi, instead, almost fell back when his left leg plunged down, but his free arm bolted to grab a roof beam, steading his stance.

Out of instinct, Kouyou used both his hands to push on the back of the man’s thighs to help him up. “Fuckin’ ladder…! How many years ago yer folks bought this piece of shit?? Awwbbollocks… I’ll have to make a new one…” his last sentence was almost breathed, mumbled.

His voice changed in the span of a moment and a thick accent flooded his normal grumpy tone, an accent that wasn’t from Kou’s country for sure.

It made him even more handsome, a pinch of exoticness added to his natural mysterious aura. “You can stop grope me now, kid” Aoi then chuckled, almost out of character.

Fast as a lightning, Kouyou yanked his palms away from his legs and pressed them against his own chest, blushing hard. “So-sorry… I didn’t know if… you know… if it was safe… to let go” the boy stuttered before falling again into silence and Aoi grinned while focusing on the task at hand.

–God!– Kou felt so ashamed, he literally held the man’s thick, firm thighs under his own palms for longer than twenty seconds and the teenager swore he felt every tendon and nerve move, flicker under his fingers.

Following Aoi’s orders back and forth, Kou passed him other types of nails, a saw to fix some raw edges of the hole, other wooden planks and finally the break was all patched up… but then Aoi saw there was a cracked plank near the gap and wanted to work on that too.

The older’s eyes darted from the other side of the second floor, seeing things Kouyou wasn’t able to discern. “Sure this place needs a lot of work, uh?” Aoi again spoke to himself, getting off the ladder jumping the broken step in the meantime.

At the end of the day, ‘Mr. Shiroyama’ repaired another pair of damaged planks, the jambs of the big and round window, nailed down one loose board of the mezzanine on the stairs and even wanted to take away the ladder to _quote unquote_ restore that shitty thing to usable conditions.

Kouyou was completely surprised by that change of character, from grumpy asshole to selfless hard worker and when Aoi declared he was done –handsomely wiping away the sweat from his forehead with his arm– barely half of the barn was fixed up. “Wow… you really like to hammer” Kouyou distractedly mumbled, wandering around with his hazel eyes.

The older couldn’t stop a snort and Kouyou turned to look up at him, seeing his face now fully exposed into a shit-eating grin. “You’re a shameless brat” Aoi rumbled, walking up to the younger.

Then Aoi poked Kouyou’s flat chest with a finger, pressing it lightly. “It’s been years since I got to _hammer_ … but _yes_ , I like to hammer. A lot” ebony irises were fixed into hazel ones, a dark flame consuming the very air between them.

Those chiseled lips, curved into a malicious smirk, were begging to be kissed… but to Kouyou they were like concentrated poison, sweet-scented arsenic.

A black, thin brow arched into a smug expression. “And I noticed that the only thing _straight as a nail,_ here, is your physique… I’m not dumb, kiddo” a slow whisper, the metallic-like voice of the man lulling Kouyou like a dangerous siren.

Aoi put more force on that finger and pushed the younger away from his path, walking back to his house with ladder in one hand and jacket in the other.

Kouyou flushed from ear to ear and he felt his chest throbbing so much he only hoped his heart wouldn’t hop out of his ribs to dance in the dirt in front of his feet.

_Stop leaving me on the verge of Death, you moron…!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets between apple pies and cinnamon.

His mother almost didn’t believe him when Kouyou said that Mr. Shiroyama fixed up almost all the barn… on a whim. “Oh dear, I should’ve paid him more then! Why didn’t he told me?” she replied, but the boy just shrugged.

Kou didn’t know what got into that grumpy man, he just saw those dark eyes light up for a moment, while working, and those plush lips crossed by a bittersweet smile so soft it seemed almost a dream.

Something was off in him, but Kouyou couldn’t put a finger on it even if the younger squeezed his brain dry. “Hiya Shima! Browsing the mags?” Akira interrupted his long train of thought.

Kouyou was waiting for a costumer to finish and meanwhile stood near the big window, watching leaflets and magazines with a bored expression. “Mh- yeah… I need to buy some sugar for my mom–what the hell??” when the taller turned to speak to his friend, he saw Akira’s face half covered with a white bandage.

His naturally-tan skin was even a little reddened around it, too. “Aki! what happened??” Kouyou immediately asked and the blond chuckled, ashamed.

Akira’s hand rose to scratch the back of his head, lowering his eyes. “Yesterday I was helping my dad unload the truck and… well… there were some pitchforks and one got to slash me right on my fucking nose” he explained, grinning then all victorious. “But Taka says I’m sexier like this, so I think this will be my style from now on!”.

The honey-blond, lankier boy just snorted, shaking his head. “Good luck this summer! You’ll melt your nose away” Kouyou grinned back at his friend, when Akira sent a malicious smirk at him “But what about you~?” he asked.

Kouyou’s smile suddenly fell and the taller just huffed, giving him his back to hide a pout. “What about me…?” he asked back, receiving a laugh instead. “Oh your mom chanted the mighty carpentry deeds of your neighbor aaallll morning with my mom” Akira chuckled, poking his friend’s side.

A thin hand grabbed one leaflet about some hotel on the far East Coast, long fingers casually browsing through it. “Yeah, he fixed the barn pretty well, my dad is happy ‘cause he has more free time now” Kouyou mumbled, but Akira thought there was a little more to know.

He pressed both his arms on Kouyou’s shoulders, forcing him to bend slightly backwards. “Kou, I know you since we were like what… Six? Seven? What’s going on in that itty bitty mind of yours?” he uttered with a soft smile, nudging his nape with his own forehead.

Kouyou sighed heavily, lowering hazel eyes in a confused look.

He trusted Akira with all his heart, damn they trusted each other with their lives, but this was hard to speak out so freely. “There’s something strange in him…” Kouyou mumbled, leaning against his best friend.

The leaflet found his black back on the stand “He could’ve simply patch up the roof… I don’t know if he’s a show-off or if there’s something _more_ behind it” soft cheeks started to blush more and more intensely, when Kouyou thought about Aoi’s stance on the ladder.

His eyes looking around, scanning the place.

The amused expression that just veiled the man’s face while talking with Kouyou’s mother about the younger’s little sisters. “I don’t know… it’s a strange feeling, y’know…” Kouyou sighed again, his lips now pursing shut.

Aoi was like watching a lake: calm and cold on the outside, with dark a mysterious inside that only the bravest dared to dive into.

Akira rolled his eyes and circled his friend until he was in front of him, poking his nose with a finger. “As I said, Shima… too much roleplay” he spoke seriously. “You got this crush only because this Shiroyama guy looks like a fictional character… don’t lose yourself in it, mh?” the bleached blond then smiled cheerfully.

“And I bet he’s a slimy forty-years-old homophobe” Akira laughed, making the taller snicker harshly. “Naaah, he outed me already” Kouyou replied, watching his friend rise both his eyebrows really high. “No, really?” “Yep! He did it with a sexy voice too~” the honey-blond joked and Akira groaned.

“Awww c’mon man! I don’t like them old, I don’t wanna knowwwww!”

Kouyou started to laugh together with his friend, but deep inside his chest that memory made his heart skip some beats.

He wanted to know more about the strange man, longed to know what kind of dark secret hid so much from everyone.

From him.

] [] [] [] [

The only thing that Yuu liked in that fucking town was the nature.

The woods were perfect to constantly feed his little hobby with dry wood of every kind and roaming around he noticed that the mountains circling the zone were already covered in snow.

That explained the chilly air at night and in the first lights of the morning.

Also, the garage on the back of his new house was big enough for his carpentry needs and all the machinery he brought with himself fitted inside just right.

But leaving out that, the townsfolk were _brutal_ : closed up like fucking oysters, they looked down on him like a leper when he asked if they had some job for him.

The fabric factory only hired young people, the mines didn’t need another miner, the diner was full staffed.

He even tried at the local school, but nothing…

The only thing that managed to do was fixing up his neighbor’s barn and breaking their ladder in the meantime…

Ladder that was now coating with some polishing wax, rubbing it into the wood fresh off the lathe.

Yuu tried to just fix the original ladder, but it came apart between his hands so he decided to make a new one.

He had a lot of free time anyway, so it took him three days to actually make it from scratch. “You’d like this place” he spoke to himself with a low, soft tone “Lotsa silence and a big-ass garden for the kid” he added, slowing his motions on the ladder.

Yuu’s hand then stopped, gripping one wooden step with the cottony cloth. “Nice neighborhood, too… Locals are a pain in the ass tho, but you’re not a party gal anyway…” a little snort, then the raven exhaled heavily.

His straight shoulders fell and his entire figure seemed to cave in for a couple of seconds, his jaw muscles tensing up and his eyes narrowing into a scowl.

Suddenly the hand holding the can of polishing wax twitched and with a snapping motion Yuu turned to his left, throwing the can in a fit of rage.

The finish twirled for a split second, before impacting against the garage closed door, making a rumble vibrate in the air like a gunshot.

Then, when the silence fell again around him, Yuu just passed the now free hand on his face, covering his eyes with another –angrier– sigh. “What the fuck I’m doing here…” a uttered phrase, tired desperation oozing from every of his words.

Like a defeated man, Yuu moved to get back the can of polish, thanking a couple of Gods that it didn’t spill everywhere and regaining a little of control on his emotions, he took the ladder in his hand.

Lifting up the garage door, then, the raven started to walk along the dirt road toward the big farm of his neighbor.

His eyes scanned around the place out of habit, but then his dark irises found rest on the show happening in the paddock on his left: one single horse was trotting in circles, its dark frizzled mane swaying in the breeze and its muzzle secured loosely with a rope.

Following the rope, Yuu saw the thin, tall form of Kouyou turning slowly around on his feet, making a clicking noise in the side of his mouth, smiling at the moving animal.

Yuu’s feet slowed their pace and the man found himself study a little more that boy: he was wearing a heavy purple hoodie, dark pants under those leathery chaps and dusty converse at his feet.

Sure the teenager was still green, physically speaking, but Yuu couldn’t stop thinking that his face was what hit him most.

The first time Yuu thought he was a girl, but it wasn’t his fault! Kouyou had such long and soft honey-blond hair, paired with full, plump lips and hazel doe eyes rimmed by long, dark eyelashes.

Yuu wasn’t ashamed to say that he was a sucker for the delicate type –he himself always swung for both sides anyway–, but Kouyou was really something else.

He had a low, husky voice filled with the same shyness of a schoolgirl and for a brief moment, Yuu asked himself what could be the tone of that same voice in a more… pleasurable situation.

_–What?–_

For fuck’s sake, that was still a kid… what kind of thought was he going to do on a –most probably– underage teen?

Yuu shook his head, huffing out his frustration before climbing the three steps of his neighbor’s porch.

“Coming~!” the voice of Ms. Takashima came chiming from the other side and Yuu clenched his teeth, forcing himself to smile at least a little.

 _“You’re always so grumpy when meeting new people…!”_ she usually said to him back then.

_“It’s a pity, your smile is like the sunshine”_

The door opened and Ms. Takashima looked up at the raven with a confused yet cheerful pair of maroon eyes. “Oh, G’morning Mr. Shiroyama! What brings you–” her gaze then shifted from the man’s face to his hand, where the ladder was still hovering inches from the ground.

Yuu noticed with a pinch of happiness that her smile grew wider and kinder. “Awww you didn’t have to buy a new one! My husband was going to replace it anyway… tell me how much and I’ll give the money back!” she chuckled now with a more tender tone.

The raven felt a needle in the chest, when she said he ‘bought’ the ladder: it seemed so well made…? It lacked few things here and there, Yuu was sure of it, but… “Uhh… missus, I didn’t bought it” Yuu muttered with a slightly warmer smile. “It was a quick work, you don’t need to–”.

Yuu couldn’t even finish the phrase, because the woman emitted a quite loud _UH??_ “You _built_ it?” Ms. Takashima added, completely befuddled.

That well-turned, almost chiseled wood was the man’s handiwork? “Really, it was noth–” “You, sir, are an artist! Now I’m gonna pay you with both money _and_ a good cup of coffee” she pointed towards her neighbor, before cocking her head and call upon her son, waving a hand to get his attention.

Yuu started to feel at a stake, with the welcoming ‘violence’ the woman was inflicting on him.

He just wanted to… well, fix the mess he did when he broke the ladder!

The raven really wasn’t accustomed to praise, not anymore at least. “Missus, I don’t need payment… I broke the ladder, I fixed it” he tried to use a more serious tone, but it fell on deaf ears.

Kouyou, hearing his name, tied up the young horse to the fence and jogged towards the front door, his light eyes immediately catching the shape of the ladder and the form of the raven.

Was he… blushing?

His often pale cheeks were slightly pink and his dark, ebony eyes were wandering around the porch. “Take this in the barn, please” she nodded her head towards the ladder, before her maroon eyes glanced on Yuu with a pout. “Mister, here we repay kindness with kindness! C’mon now, I have a pie in the oven that needs to be eaten!” an index waved in front of the shocked raven.

Kouyou never saw the neighbor with such bashful expression before, and Yuu himself never felt like that in years. “If you insist this much… I can’t say no to a woman” he then chuckled defeated, entering the Takashima’s house.

Kouyou saw his motions soften up, his feet automatically search for the mat to brush off the dirt from under his shoes.

And while the teen ran to the barn to quickly put away the new equipment, Yuu looked around in the short hallway by the entrance.

The first time he entered, he didn’t pay much attention –he wasn’t much of a nosy guy– but now his eyes fell on a long row of photos hanged on the wall on his left: black and white ones, probably grandparents and great-grandparents of that family, then a avalanche of kids of every gender and age, smiling or crying at the photographer.

Slowly, the man stopped in front of a group photo, featuring the woman, her husband and what happened to be their children.

The two twin girls always grinning to each other, the little typhoons Ms. Takashima tried to maintain still for the photo.

A young man with short, auburn hair that hooked an arm around a smaller version of Kouyou.

They all seemed happy in their farm, with their lives and their loved ones…

_“C’mon boys, a big smile for mommy! Cheeeese~”_

“Oh shoot, I should dust these more…!” Ms. Takashima interrupted his thoughts, smiling. “We took this one four years ago, before my older son went to college” she added, tapping the glass of the photograph with a finger.

She pointed at the taller, young man. “He always created quite a ruckus here, but I still miss him” the woman walked into the kitchen, wearing an oven glove. “Do you have children, Mr. Shiroyama?” she asked, taking the hot baking tin in her hand, putting it on the table.

The sweet smell of apples and cinnamon filled the air and Yuu inhaled it deeply, trying to focus on that more than the question she made. “Why you ask?” he said back, stepping inside the kitchen with just a hint of curiosity inside his dark eyes.

That room gave off more of that ‘family’ feeling, with all the preserves and the squeaky-clean copperwares on the hood above the cookers.

He sat down at the table only when Ms. Takashima pointed it at him, sending him a bright smile. “Well, my mother senses tingled quite a bit when you managed to survive the girls’ attacks, last time!” she chuckled, turning to cut the pie in slices. “And you give off the ‘dad’ vibe as much as my husband” she then said with a softer tone.

Yuu looked the woman’s back for long, silent seconds, before huffing a little laugh under his breath. “It’s so evident, uh?” he mumbled, lowering his gaze, and he tenderly started to play with the little plastic pearls of the bracelet around his wrist.

“You’re right missus, I’m a fellow parent” Yuu then chuckled, seeing a plate slide right under his eyes: the slice of apple pie was accompanied by a big scoop of vanilla ice cream and it looked better than a photo. “Ah! I knew it!” the woman smirked and there Yuu saw the same smile that passed on Kouyou’s face while talking with his friends.

He really took a lot from his mother, uh?

Yuu smiled just softly, something inside his head started cracking up. “Yeh, eight years old, mischievous little boy” the man then took out his wallet and opened it, taking out a tiny, faded photo.

Ms. Takashima took it in her soft fingers and smiled, seeing both a young woman and a kid smiling at the camera "Awww he's so cute! What's his name?" she asked and Yuu chuckled, poking the pie with his fork "Ryo, out little star... All his mother, even if she often said he was my copy” the raven said almost in a whisper.

Ms. Takashima looked at the man and a strange, colder feeling pooled into her stomach. “ _Was_ …?” she asked and Yuu nodded, his smile still present, but the light in it completely gone.

“He would be sixteen this year” Yuu uttered.

 


	5. Chapter 5

As Ms. Takashima heard his words, she immediately felt remorse for even asking: losing a child was the worst pain for a parent and digging it up -even without knowing it- was a really bad move. “I… I’m sorry for your loss, I…-” “Ahh don’t sweat it, missus” Yuu waved the fork at her, almost angrily. “You didn’t know… and probably he’s following me like a little will’o wisp for what I know”.

The raven sighed, then smiled back at the woman, seeing sincere concert into her eyes. “Really… it’s fine. Heavy argument, but it’s fine” he spoke with now a softer tone.

It wasn’t fine at all though, just thinking about it was clashing all his inner walls one brick at the time, but he was just hoping she would just drop the subject.

And she did, nodding and clearing her throat before asking about his work, how or where he learned to work with wood so well. “I had my shop back in Florida. Good revenues, well placed” the man shrugged and Ms. Takashima looked at him completely enthralled by his voice.

And Yuu was looking at her while talking, never leaving her eyes as he was taught to. “Have you tried at my son’s school? I know the old woodworking teacher really wants to retire” she giggled, intertwining her fingers on the table.

The raven stalled for a moment, the pie already disappeared into his stomach fast as lightning.

He already tried at that school -at least, the one that had elementary, middle and high school all cramped up in the same couple of buildings- but they sent him away with a quick _we’re already full staffed_. “Uhm… I tried but–” “They showed you the door I suspect… bah, they’ll change mind when I’ll show your works at the next parent-teacher meet–” her voice stopped, her eyes darted toward the clock on the wall above the door of the kitchen, then she slapped her own forehead as if she remembered something.

The woman then stood up and opened the window near the table, almost planting the glass against Yuu’s face, with all of his astonishment. “KOU! DEAR!” she yelled, turning to the man with a whispered _sorry_. “Can you go take your sisters from Ms. Tanabe?? I forgot I have to go to your school in a while!” she added when Kouyou came running with the big, black horse still trotting beside him.

Sneakily, Yuu stretched his neck to look out, seeing the teenager wrinkle his nose at the request. “Awwww but ma! I have the Campaign this evening!” he whimpered and the horse near him chuffed against his shoulder, brushing the pinkish nose on the sweater.

A little smirk crawled up on the raven’s chiseled lips, looking at that scene: lanky boy was a good one, but he was still a teenager uh? Always talking back at least once. “Go take them now, then! C’mon, chop-chop!” the woman then closed the window on a groaning boy and there Yuu lost it.

He chuckled, a soft sound that bubbled up in his chest. “Well, missus, the pie was delicious” he spoke, rising from the chair and putting both his hands on the table. “But I think I’m only busying your already busy schedule” the man added.

Ms. Takashima sighed, nodding slightly. “Again, sorry. Tonight all the parents are planning a Christmas Festival and I totally forgot about it until now” she then moved and put a couple of pie slices inside a plastic container.

The kind thought made Yuu’s heart churn a little, in the old memories that were held there.

_“Don’t forget to eat, hun! You workaholic prick~”_

“Since you love it so much…!” the woman smiled at the raven, holding out the container to him. “Thank you for the ladder… And if you need help with the guys around here, just say a word and I’ll sprinkle some salt in their heads!” black, shiny eyes fell bashfully and a melancholic smile stretched Yuu’s lips.

He looked at the food in his hands and nodded. “Thank you, missus. I’ll see if I can manage” the raved replied and when he exited the house his lungs took in a bigger breath: he wasn’t accustomed to such warmth anymore… it was almost hurting him deep down, as strange as it could sound.

Then his irises saw the teenager walking out the stables all grump and his hands well fisted inside the front pocket of his sweater.

Kouyou was grumbling to himself, pouting his lips out and furrowing his brows above his hazel eyes. “Umpf… Do this, go there… I just hope the guys will wait for me…!” his protests died on his tongue as he saw Yuu, his Aoi, on the other side of the dirt courtyard in front of his home.

He was looking up at him with a strange, interested look and for a moment, Kouyou stopped where he was, petrified by both shyness and amazement.

His head sank between his shoulders and his hands recoiled a little inside the pocket, but hazel and black locked firmly into one another: the cold weather laid forgotten in the back of their heads and while the younger lingered on the wonderful features of his neighbor, Yuu just felt a small soft bubble form into his soul, far and fuzzy.

The older man then made a side smirk while walking away towards his house and there, Kouyou's heart started to beat so fast against his ribs.

A bouquet of reds and pinks painted his delicate face up to his ears and the realization made his knees weak.

He smiled at him…

Sure he would never know exactly why, but Kouyou finally saw what looked like that handsome face with a smile on it, smuggish or not.

And it was the most beautiful sight he ever saw…

Kouyou sighed heavily at the sole memory of the little wrinkle at the side of Yuu's wonderful lips, the soft squint of his eyes and the almost unnoticeable lean of his head.

Perfection, Aoi was perfection.

 

] [] [] [] [

 

“C’mon Shima, roll…! Try to get at least a five or I’m fucking screwed” Akira was chewing on the inside of his cheek, while Yutaka was drumming his finger on the table.

It was an hardcore campaign, since was Takanori’s turn to be Master and he was looking at his boyfriend with a sharp grin on his face. “Finally I got my Berserker in a corner… What will our Fencer do?” Takanori chuckled with a dark tone in his voice and Yutaka covered his face in frustration. “I don’t wanna look…!” he giggled trying to be dramatic.

Kouyou looked at the tabletop, eyes darting left and right for a moment, before he took the dice and rolled it in his palms. “If I get something higher than ten…?” he asked looking inside the Master’s eyes, searching for a hidden challenge.

Takanori huffed a chuckle, hoisting up his head on his open palms, caressing his own cheeks like a villain. “If you roll between five and nine, Rei’s life is safe… but you’ll fall into my trap” he uttered, gazing at the taller one. “And I’ll be even kinder if you’ll roll up to twelve”.

Akira and Yutaka looked at each other, before the blond spoke. “Taka, you know it’s a game right?” he snickered almost unnerved, but winced back at the side-glance he received from his smaller boyfriend. “Shut the fuck up, I’m the Master tonight and I wanna make your life miserable, mwahahah!” he said with an angry, maleficent tone.

But then his face softened and his smile grew awkward. “Too much?” he asked. “Too much” everyone else answered and the four of them laughed hard for a bunch of seconds.

Kouyou blowed on the dice to warm up the metallic material, then he threw it in the middle of the velvety cloth, tensing up a little as it rolled and twirled with soft thuds echoing among them.

They all were at Akira’s home for that evening and their friend’s bedroom was luckily big enough to host them all.

The bleached blond had some posters on his walls, a bunch of figurines on his shelves and a comfy duvet on his single bed.

Everything was imbued with warm tones and a mess of clothes could be seen through the half open door of Akira’s little walk-in wardrobe. “Ohhh you’re all so dead~” Takanori chimed when the dice showed up the number three.

_AWWWWwwww fuck!_

_Shimmy-pants, you betrayed us!_

_Please tell me I have enough Mana!_

The three heroes tried to complain, but their Master only laughed and smashed his hand on the cloth in the center of their circle. “Shut the fuck up! You’re all cornered and the room grows darker and darker… then, suddenly, a clack in the walls open two big hatches and acid flows down… filling slowly the channels around the room” Takanori was moving his hands dramatically, grinning at his friends.

Kouyou gulped loudly and Yutaka was fidgeting with his hands. “Awwww babe c’mon… acid? Really?” Akira moaned with a pout, but Takanori didn’t look up, knowing very well that his puppy eyes always got him. “The acid is rising, you have only one chance–” “But if I die this evening, I’ll be able to skip tomorrow’s test?” Akira again nagged at his boyfriend.

Kouyou giggled, shouldering his friend briefly. “You moron~” “Ah! You guys know that we’ll have a new teacher? Is a substitute for Mr. Robinson” Yutaka interrupted them all with his single-dimpled smile.

The other three turned their heads almost instantly in complete confusion. “Really?” Akira exclaimed, staring at his friend in disbelief. “Finally good old Rob will take a vacation?” Kouyou chuckled, leaning back against the side of the bed.

Takanori was pouting hard, his arms crossed. “Uhm, guys? Acid… imminent death…?” he tried to regain their attention, but he huffed as Akira threw his arms around his smaller chest, hugging him like a teddy bear. “My mom told me at lunch today, but she didn’t said who… well, if it’s a sub-teach, we’ll probably see them for a month -top- before Mr. Rob will be back” Yutaka shrugged and laid down with his back on the carpet, his head upside down.

“Guyyyysss I wanted to see you dieee c’mooon~” Takanori’s muffled voice came from the chest of Akira and Kouyou just giggled again, shaking his head. “You fried us, Taka! What do you want, screams of agony?” the honey-blond asked and the three of them started to do silly noises of death, high-pitched gurglings and dramatic wordings.

Again the teenagers laughed in a more soft way and the prior anxiety shifted into a relaxed state of mind: Akira just subjugated Takanori’s tantrums with little kisses and cuddles, Yutaka was almost sleeping while hugging a parakeet-shaped pillow and Kouyou had his knees up to his chest, head resting against his best friend’s bed.

The campaign was over, they couldn’t never walk past Takanori’s deadly trap and that moment was like a chill ‘Game Over’ screen for all of them. “Well, at least there will be something new” Kouyou spoke slowly, a little smile forming on his lips. “Yeah, I was tired as hell of making bird houses” Akira chuckled from his now nestled position against his big beanbag.

Silence fell among them, each and every one of the teenagers neck-deep in their thoughts.

It was nice to stay like that: not having to speak or tell anything, but only enjoy the presence of their friends in a night that was slowly turning blacker by the minute.

But then a couple of hazel eyes saw Akira’s hand slowly moving on Takanori’s back and Kouyou felt his mind churn and twist: how it would be like to be embraced like that?

Nothing naughty, just… stay on a big chest, feel the rise and fall of it at every breath and hear someone’s heart under his ear.

Big, callous, warm hands stroll along his spine, massaging between his shoulder blades.

Arms wrapped around his frame, holding onto him like he was the most precious thing in this world.

Maybe a hum from a deep, silky voice, lips brushing his ear while talking nothings into it.

He could almost see it: an enormous fire pit in the middle of a big, dark chamber.

Stone walls and flooring covered in thick, royal tapestries.

And there would lay his Dark King on a pile of velvet pillows, his pale face bordered by black, inky and almost disheveled hair.

Brown and sand-colored fur wrapped around his naked body while his hands would just lull the younger to sleep. “Uhhhm Kou, if you want a threesome you need to ask Taka first…!” Akira chuckled and Kouyou blinked a couple of times snapping out of his mental movie.

He looked up at his best friend, seeing his smirk grow wider and wider. “What?” “You’re giving us so much bedroom eyes I fear for poor Yuta’s innocence here-” “Hey! I’m not a kid!” “Uh-uhh who said threesome?” his friends talked on top of each other, giggling and snickering.

Kouyou was breathless, he really… spaced out like that in front of them?

Blushing violently, the taller sank his face between his rose knees, hugging them tightly. “I… I was… I was thinking about something else!” he whined while Yutaka was laughing so hard he was rolling on the floor. “Thinking about what, Shimmy-pants?” Akira grinned and Takanori hummed, slithering on his boyfriend’s figure. “Fantasizing about some dark lord, mh~?” the smaller chuckled.

Inside Kouyou’s mind, the flash of that smile from hours ago drilled holes into his sanity and the memory of Aoi’s harsh voice sent shivers down his back. “It’s nothing… really, stop it”.

At that phrase, the other teens faded into an awkward silence, looking at each other with now worried looks. “Hey Shima… sorry, ok?” Akira started, separating from Takanori to crawl to his best friend, searching for his face.

Yutaka was watching with a concerned look into his brown eyes and the smaller of the group was looking down a little ashamed.

Kouyou breathed slowly a couple of times, feeling a hand prodding at the top of his head. “Kou” Akira called to him again, serious now, and the honey-blond peaked from behind his knees. “Mh?” he replied, seeing a pair of amber eyes watch him closely.

Akira knew about his ‘spacing-outs’ since they were kids, but as everybody else he thought they were just things that would pass with time, with growth.

Instead, those moments intensified with the advent of his teenage and Kou often found himself stuck between space and time without even realizing it.

During middle school, a lot of kids called him _dumb_ because he couldn’t focus from time to time, lost in his own worlds but he was there, only… not completely. “Sorry, Kou… really” Akira tried to make a soft smile at him.

Silence thickened the air for a second, then Kouyou stretched out his legs and nodded. “I forgive you only because you’re all a bunch of cretins” the honey-blond faked a pout.

Little, relieved laughs peppered the group and finally balance came back onto them.

“But I really wanted a threesome~” Takanori winked at the taller, making him sling out his tongue. “I don’t like Hobbit sex, sorry” “HEY! I’m a Necromancer, not a Hobbit!” “A very short Necromancer~”.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sir or Mister would be enough for the time being”

A couple of days later, snow started to fell on the roofs of town and covered all with thick white blankets of cold.

Kouyou liked the snow, but not the work that came with it: take the chopped wood from the shed outside, shovel the snow in front of their home and the stables, take bundles of hay from the barn and obviously dress all their horses with thick clothes to prevent them to take too much cold.

At the end of the week, the teenager was completely tired and the only thing he wanted to do was finish that day of school and just run home.

Change from his damp clothes into something warmer was a great idea, maybe his mother would make him and the girls big cups of hot cocoa with marshmallows. “Uuugghhh can’t wait one more hour~” Kouyou moaned, cocking his head back.

Akira, near him, just chuckled and nudged his shoulder with his one. “C’mon Shima, just a little more and we’ll be free! Christmas holidays are the best” the bleached blond grinned at his best friend, receiving a pout back. “Yeah, for you! You don’t have to shovel a shit-ton of snow…! All because my father is busy with work… I wanna finish my book in peace” the taller complained again.

Akira laughed, shaking his head, while shifting his backpack on his shoulder. “Well, you’re finally going to put some muscles on those spaghetti arms~” he cocked an eyebrow, still sporting a bright grin.

The two of them were walking from their Science classroom to the woodworking lab, passing near rows and rows of lacquered-blue lockers.

Some had some beatings on them, others were of a different shade of blue, but each and every one of them had its own locket that kept them closed shut.

The artificial light above their heads were turned on, since outside the weather was going darker, softened by the stillness of the snow.

With a groan, Kouyou’s slim figure hunched forward, exhaling deeply seconds after. “I swear Shimmy-pants, you just need a boyfriend” Akira rolled his eyes at the dramatic antics of his best friend. “What about going to the arcade for some boy-hunt, later?” the bleached blond stopped in front of the lab door, patting his friend’s back. “You get all cranky if you get that sex drive bottled up, it’s not good for your health bro!”.

Before Akira could open the door to the lab, a shadow appeared on the other side of the windowed door and both teens had to step away before a tall and sturdy man could impact in their faces.

He was in his fifties, thick gray beard and thicker curly hair around his head like a silver halo. “Oh! Good morning boys!” the gentle voice of Mr. Robinson waved at them, a big grin on his round face “I was showing the substitute around, but apparently he’s already familiar with everything in the lab” the older teacher chuckled, waving his leathery suitcase. “Be good with him, mh?” Robinson winked at Akira and he smiled nervously “Yes teach…” “Good! Now excuse me but I have a plane for the Galapagos that’s waiting for me!” and the man took off without waiting for the boys to say anything.

Kouyou stared at their teacher with a befuddled look on his face: they never saw him so happy-go-lucky or at least lively, in the past four years of school. “The miracle of a vacation” Akira snickered, opening the door, and Kouyou almost fell face-first into the concrete flooring.

The honey-blond could recognize that back everywhere, even if now it was covered by a black, thin turtleneck.

His neighbor was writing something on the chalkboard, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and veiny arms showing in those jerky movements. “To your places, latecomers” he almost barked and with a last stroke of chalk he turned, watching the rest of the class.

Kouyou followed Akira like a robot, eyes to the ground and face flushed red as a poppy, but every part of his being was drawn to their _new teacher_ , to the man of his current dreams.

He looked so good in that turtleneck, the fabric wrapping like a glove his chest and his shoulders, signing his narrowing hips just above the washed black jeans. “Well boys, this is what we’re going to do since we’re in the Christmas season” a couple of knuckles knocked on the chalkboard, showing a quickly drawn diagram.

Silence fell in the laboratory, before a girl from the first workbenches rose a hand. “Uhm… you didn’t introduce yourself–” “It’s not big deal” Yuu darted his dark eyes to the girl, watching her with a plain face. “Call me whatever the fuck you want, you’ll come up with some nickname sooner or later… Sir or Mister would be enough for the time being”.

Takanori snorted silently, at the same work table as his friends and Yuu started grabbing a bunch of segments cut from some two-by-four planks. “I know that with Mr. Robinson you didn’t do jack shit, so I’m going to be very clear, just once” the man slowly walked between the workbenches, slamming four pieces of wood on every table.

 

### TWACK.

“Fingers and blades aren’t best friends. In case something happens, take your hands away from the saw and call me”

 

 

### TWACK.

“Put your glasses and gloves on. I know they’re ugly as hell, but we’re thinking about safety here, not fashion”

 

 

### TWACK.

“Don’t get cocky with the tools, you could kill someone with those scalpels… and I know it because I sharpened all of them this morning”

 

 

### TWACK.

“Last but not less important…” the last set of short planks landed one inch away from Kouyou’s hand and the loud noise made him retract both his forearms to his chest, startled by those black irises staring at him. “This is ART, not an easy way to get good grades, so try to put some soul in it” Yuu’s voice softened at the last phrase.

Kouyou felt the man’s body heat cling to his own shoulder and side, radiating from him like a dark sun and to the younger it felt like breathing again.

His salty and sweet scent was still there like the first time he smelled it, unchanged. “Now that you know the rules, let’s get to business. Take a pencil, a pen, your granny’s ashes and draw those shapes on each side of the wood” Yuu continued to walk, passing behind Takanori’s back and advancing towards the teacher desk.

His calloused hand grabbed an already scribbled piece of wood, rising it to let them all see.

Kouyou couldn’t focus a lot on the task at hand, though, whit his mind a tangle of thoughts and emotions: his neighbor almost brushed his chest against his shoulder and that motion alone -even if accidental- was short-circuiting him like crazy.

Aoi was so… so warm and real… firm and strong in both physic and character, a cliff lashed by hard winds all year around.

Yet that subtle gentleness, hid from everyone, that shone from time to time in little words or gestures was the charmingest of his traits.

Yutaka tried to snap him out of his shocked state, nudging him with a shoulder on his other side and he chuckled silently at how his taller friend was still blushing under his light bangs. “Earth calls Shima, Earth calls Shima” Akira joked while scribbling what resembled an egg more than a sphere.

Kouyou closed his eyes shut, before returning in the same time-zone as everyone else, breathing a couple of times.

Whoa, that… was intense…

 

] [] [] [] [

 

Almost one hour later, where Yuu had to teach every kid in the class how to use a drill, Kouyou managed to make holes in the wood like instructed and was kind of enjoying this new type of lesson.

Leaving out the ‘hot teacher’ teaching them, it was really something new and more challenging than a bird house.

And then Yuu just moved towards a machine in the far end of the laboratory, plugging it up. “Ok, now come here and I’ll show you how to use the scroll saw. One at the time” the man spoke with now a less aggressive tone, waving one hand towards one of their classmates to approach him.

And the whole class started to chat while waiting for their turns, in the mechanic noise of the scroll saw: rumors about the strange man, how he had the insane-killer-vibe, how handsome he was, branding him as _Teach Lecter_ … Kouyou was almost insulted by those gossips and his lips automatically pursed in a pout. “What’s the matter, ducky?” Takanori chuckled.

Kouyou sighed easing his lips only to pout even more, blowing up his cheeks a little. “Nuffin’…” he muttered, making Yutaka laugh. “Ducky is jealous~” the brunette winked at him, making the taller blush hard.

No he wasn’t jealous… he was just miffed about that amount of back-fence talk that buzzed around them.

It wasn’t… right, in Kouyou’s mind. “Shima, you’re next” Akira patted his shoulder as he walked back from the scroll saw, his face confused and a little curious about the work he just did: the block of wood in his hand was all cut along the design drawn on it, but it had tape all around it holding the pieces in place.

Kouyou looked up and immediately his eyes widened.

It was his turn…? Already??

He wasn’t ready, yet! He couldn’t withstand another lone time with his Aoi, his heart was going to explode…! “C’mon who’s next? Lanky boy, move your ass” Yuu watched him with a not-very-amused face, both his hands curled up against his hips and Kouyou swallowed a mouthful of saliva.

Taking the scribbled piece of wood he moved with lead feet towards the machine, watching as how his neighbor freed the blade from the mechanical arm with ease. “For now I’ll do it, but next time you’ll have to do it on your own” he talked with a softer tone in his voice, low in volume so that only Kouyou could hear him.

Yuu’s finger worked slowly, to show the younger how he needed to pass the blade in one of the holes in the wood, then hooked it back in its proper place. “When you move the wood, slide it on the counter, don’t press it down and if it gives back to you, don’t force it”.

As soon as he explained that, Yuu turned on the scroll saw and moved the wood in the moving blade.

Hazel eyes followed his every move but not for the sake of learning, oh no: Kouyou watched those hands glide the wood into the sharp teeth of the saw with the same gentleness of a caress, steady but careful.

And the younger then lingered on his still uncovered arms, noticing again the little bracelet and how smooth his skin seemed above those rose veins and flickering tendons.

And as soon as Yuu turned the machine off, the teenager was even more bashful than before. “Ok, now try it and cut this hole out. Again, watch your fingers” the raven crossed the arms on his chest and Kouyou slowly took his fingers on the wood, holding it as if it depended his own life.

Kouyou’s mind was a mess of sensations now, thoughts raging without even giving him the time to understand what they were.

A static invaded him as he felt the wood slide as if it was butter against the blade, the noise of the scroll saw almost hypnotize him. “Slower, lanky boy… we have all the time” a thick whisper grazed Kouyou on the neck and that hot breath sent an army of ants along his skin.

Other thoughts broke the fuzz in his mind and the honey-blond felt reality slip out of his grasp as he fell deep inside the universe of his imagination, returning into that deep, dark dungeon filled with carpets and pillows, his Dark Lord waiting for him with that precious side-smirk.

_“Focus, you’re going out of tracks”_

That raspy voice talk on his nape, kiss his shoulder blades with breathed curses.

_“I said focus”_

Warmth all around him, all inside his heart, his soul, his mind… finally feeling complete and not the unfinished puzzle Kouyou often felt like.

_“OYE!”_

The harsh bark made him snap back to the task he was doing and suddenly a firm, warm grasp was tightening around his left wrist, so much it almost hurt.

But it would hurt more if Yuu didn’t grab him: the saw nearly severed Kouyou’s fingers, inching them so much the sharpened teeth were almost scraping his glove.

The blade slowed down as the older stopped the machine and black eyes were flashing hazel ones with an cryptic look. “Bonus rule: _always_ focus near moving blades” he snarled at him before yanking his hand away few seconds after, as if he touched something scalding hot.

Kouyou watched him clench his mouth shut, breathing deeply before exhaling out his frustration. “Now… try again” he muttered, but the tension in his jaw didn’t disappear nor the trembling of his hands.

Because Kouyou felt through the glove that the older was slightly shivering, while he was gripping him, and that made the younger heart clench in the most uncomfortable way.

Was Yuu... scared?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just one piece of fantasy

After that little incident, the rest of the hour with Teach Lecter proceeded well and every student held in their hands a cut, but taped up, block of wood.

Kouyou fell into a deep silence since the moment the man shout at him, eyes down like a beaten dog, but his friends at their shared workbench made a quick work in cheering him up.

Yuu, once finished at the scroll saw, walked up to the teacher desk and leaned against it with his hips, his armed crossed on the chest. “Ok kids, now that you feel like you accomplished shit, take apart the wood… and I repeat take, not break” he spoke right before a soft rustling could fill up the classroom.

Soft and thin fingers started to push and pull the wood with care and Kouyou snorted lightly at hearing Takanori mumble some curses to a piece of tape that wasn’t coming off his project.

And Yutaka was the first to speak, holding up something that resembled a pointed Christmas decoration. “Waaa~ so cute!!” he chirped.

Kouyou just stood silent there, amazement slowly fill him with warmth as he held in his palm his very first work of wooden art and when his hazel eyes rose from it to his neighbor, the honey-blond saw those dark irises look directly at him.

Not around to check all the students’ works, not to Yutaka since was the first voice breaking the silence.

Yuu was looking at him with a strange, melancholic expression.

That side smirk painting again his wonderful features. “But mine looks like shit!” Akira whined in the background. “That’s because your drawing skills are shit, handsome!” Takanori laughed far away, in the outskirts of Kouyou’s attention.

He was all for that obscure man now, every bit of his body and mind was completely focused on him. “Now that you saw what comes out with this drawing” Yuu started to speak again, walking around the desk to erase what he wrote before. “The only homework I’m giving you is to come up with something yours… And I said yours, not Google’s. I know each and every design on the fucking web, so don’t try to fool me”.

The students groaned and Kouyou felt his own heart clench as Yuu laughed at everyone’s reaction. “It’s simple, c’mon… draw front and side, you have until the last day of school–” the bell rang suddenly, covering what Yuu said at the end, and everyone just ran away from the classroom, leaving him there.

Kouyou just managed to send him a last glance, before Akira would drape his arm on his shoulders, speaking about some new videogame. “Awwww fuck” the honey-blond mumbled when the four of them exited the school building.

Big snowflakes were swaying down from the white sky, adding to the already thick bright layers around town. “I have to run home, guys! Granma is coming over for Christmas and I have to help mom clean up the guest room” Yutaka chuckled a little bashful and after the other three waved at him, he just put on his hood and sprinted in the snow, running down the road.

The percs of living near school, thought Kouyou, as he approached his bike with all those little flocks peppering his light hair. “Yo Shimmy-pants! We’re going to the arcade now, wanna come?” Akira patted his back, but the taller sighed. “Sorry Aki, I have to go home too… If it’s snowing this hard now, I probably have to shovel it again in a couple of hours” his voice wasn’t happy, but a little smile stretched his lips when Akira just chuckled. “Means I’ll steal your record then!” the bleached-blond spoke with a grin.

Then Takanori opened a black umbrella and after some other promise of hear each other on chat, the couple started to walk away the opposite side Yutaka went, bickering with their arms linked.

Kouyou’s smile washed away the more his friends walked away and after a bunch of minutes he was still there, shoulders completely white and a deep sigh puffing out of his lips in a white cloud.

Slowly, he started to push his bike following Yutaka’s steps, watching them disappear towards his home and then he was the only one shifting through the snow.

There was silence, the whole world wrapped up in that whiteness, and the only thing that broke the stillness were the little crackling of the snowflakes hitting the ground and the muffled crushes of his feet in the snow.

Kouyou shivered again, rolling his shoulders underneath his jacket, and watched his own fingers turn redder by the minute because of the cold air, red like his cheeks as he remembered Yuu’s laugh.

The teen wished he could hear him again make that crystalline sound, see his eyes light up, smile at him and wrap him up in his arms to keep him warm.

“Oye, Takashima!”

Kouyou almost slid on an icy patch when he heard that voice calling him and gripping hard the handlebar the boy steadied himself before turning his head to see a battered gray pickup slowing down beside him.

His heart almost exploded, when he saw the man at the wheel looking right at him. “Get up before you become a fucking snowman! Throw the bike on the back” his neighbor said, his thumb pointing over his shoulder.

Kouyou widened his eyes, face flushing even more. “R-Really? I… I don’t know I don’t want to disturb-” “What the fuck you’re saying? I live like three feet away from your damn barn, c’mon! Move your ass!” the man croaked another harsh laugh and at that point, the younger picked up his bike to shove it on the pick-up, before throwing himself inside the vehicle.

He shivered a third time when he felt warmth all around his body and Kouyou rubbed his palms together in front of the heating vents. “It’s fucking freezing, why didn’t you call your parents to pick you up?” Yuu asked while hovering his hands on the turning wheel, making the car move along the snow-covered road.

Kouyou looked at him, trying to not watch for too long that perfect profile, those lips and that cheekbone. “My dad is away until the 24th and my mom is probably too busy… I don’t mind walking-” “Yeah, but you’re almost humping the fucking heater, here” Yuu cackled with a grin on his face.

His eyes were fixed on the empty road and Kouyou thanked he wasn’t looking, because he probably was going to turn as red as a Christmas ornament. “Seatbelt” then the raven spoke.

The taller tilted his head, emitting a low _uh?_ before the man could roll his eyes. “Put on the fucking seatbelt” Yuu repeated, stilling the car near a stop sign.

After that, the only noise between the two was the little whistle of the seatbelt being fastened on Kouyou’s slim chest, along with the same muffled crackling of the wheels on the snow.

It was an odd view, what Kouyou saw reflected in the windshield, their bodies so close yet so far, Yuu’s hands gloved with black leather and moving from the steering wheel to the stick near his leg, changing from the lowest gear to the second one.

His leather jacket open to show the fluffy inside, that turtleneck stretched by the seatbelt.

His thighs swell every time he pushed on the clutch to change gear. “Stop undressing me with those eyes, it’s too cold for that” the raven huffed, before his black eyes could dart for a split second towards the younger.

Kouyou coughed up a couple of times, jerking his head towards the window on his right almost immediately. “I-I’m sorry…!” he muttered pressing himself against the door, but after a while Yuu spoke again, with a softer voice. “Tone that crush down, kid… I’m not in my prime anymore, you might get disappointed”.

Disappointed?

How can someone be disappointed by that kind of view? “You’re not that old” Kouyou couldn’t stop his sentence and he saw Yuu’s face scrunch up into a strange, far-away expression, between rage and a smile. “Almost rotten” he joked without happiness. “C’mon, what are you, twenty-eight? Twenty-nine?” “I’m fucking thirty-six, kid” the raven interrupted him harshly and a new, tensed silence fell in the vehicle.

Kouyou looked down, into his reddened hands. “And the only thing I know is that you’re illegal-years-old, so stop looking at me with those doe eyes, clear?” Yuu sighed, his face falling into a defeated look. “I might not control myself if you-” “And if I don’t want you to control yourself?” Kouyou spoke without his mind working, words rolling out of his plush lips.

Yuu snorted and he stopped the car on the edge of the road, their houses in the far distance. “Ok, let’s settle this once and for all” the man said while jerking violently the handbrake. “If you continue like this when I’m nowhere near you, you’re gonna hurt yourself in too many ways” Yuu spoke while removing forcibly both his gloves, throwing them on the dashboard.

The raven quickly removed the seatbelt from his body with a little fight then he turned to gaze into a couple of large, widened, hazel eyes.

“Just one piece of fantasy, then fucking stop it…” the older mumbled and one calloused hand rose to grab those soft, silky honey-blond hair right on Kouyou’s nape.

The teen stiffened on the seat for the first few seconds, fighting that hand yanking him from his pressed-up position against the door, but as soon as those chiseled lips met his ones, Kouyou melted away.

His body relaxed a little in that hold, immediately searching the other’s warmth and his feet shuffled in the rubber mat, his snowy shoes squeaking on it.

The younger moved his trembling hands, fisting them on his knees as he closed his eyes, trying to move his own lips against that warm, soft mouth.

Kouyou was focusing on the slight taste of coffee on the other’s lips and the salty-sweet scent that enveloped not only the man, but the whole inside of his car.

Slowly, the older tilted his head and pressed more in the kiss, caressing the younger’s plush lips with his own tongue and feeling a tightness inside his chest.

It wasn’t the right thing to do, but he felt the need for that kiss: a lot has passed since he felt at least a single spark in his soul and right now Kouyou managed to lit up a firework show inside the man’s heart.

The snow piled up on the windshield, dimming the white light of the outside world and the silence only served to make the soft, wet sound of their withdrawal echo in the vehicle.

With his breath quickened and eyes fluttering open, Kouyou watched how those dark eyes glistened in the penumbra around them, disheveled black hair framing those onyx fragments and that mouth emit shallow pants. “You got what you wanted…” Yuu almost growled, but his face wasn’t angry, nor annoyed.

He seemed almost hurt, brow knitted and a little wrinkle formed between them. “Now stop it, Kouyou” the whisper that came out from the older’s lungs almost broke halfway through his phrase.

As Yuu straightened on his seat, Kouyou was biting on his lower lip, wishing he could rewind time so he could enjoy that kiss again.

And again.

_And again._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolded text is Scottish.  
> To all the Scottish folks out there: I'm sorry if I messed up something, I tried my best with the translator I found around on the web çwç

Kouyou took up residence on Cloud Nine since that fantastic, marvelous kiss in the pickup.

It was his little secret that kept him awake at night, he even used the softness of the man’s lips in his fantasies for his ‘shower lone times’.

And when Christmas Eve came, the thought of that kiss eased up the news his mother broke to him. “Dad is stuck at the airport for a snowstorm, he’ll probably be here in a couple of days” she said with a slightly annoyed look on her face.

Ms. Takashima always loved to have all her family around for Christmas, but her older son was at his fiancé’s parents like a good boyfriend and now her husband was blocked away from the weather. “It’ll be the four of us then…! We’ll drown in all the food I prepared, but… oh well, I’ll put everything in the fridge…” her face was starting to fall.

Their big home was made for a big family and an even bigger circle of friends, afterall… “I can see if the guys wanna come? Or maybe…” a stray thought passed through Kouyou’s mind and the teenager grinned slowly. “Maybe our neighbor is free?” “Oh, good idea, dear! At least there will be another mouth to fill…! I swear if we waste anything I’ll go bonkers with your father for leaving us alone at Christmas…!”.

Kouyou grinned even wider, his mind humming a low _maybe my mouth will be too busy for food, mom_ and when his mother rushed to put the roast in the oven, the teenager dashed in his bedroom: he had to change from his pajamas into something fitting and opening his closet, Kouyou’s smile grew even sharper.

He threw on the bed a bunch of light-gray fabric, undressing in front of his closet’s mirror and Kouyou watched his reflection with a pinch of uneasiness.

He wasn’t so masculine, his body never grew buffer or stronger even with all the work at the ranch, and watching his flat chest he asked himself… _will Aoi like me? Will he like how my ribs shows up? Or my thin noodle arms? Will he like this twink body of mine?_

Then a little thought exploded in his mind, with the rough and snarky voice of Takanori: _“I would fuck you senseless if I wasn’t a faithful little shit with Akira! You’re the Thigh Master, remember that!”_.

Kouyou’s cheeks flushed pink at that memory and chuckling between himself he started to dress up again, caressing with open palms his soft skin between his still naked thighs.

Like in one of their campaign, he had to use all of his points to take over the Onyx Czar… afterall, Kouyou was the handsome fencer with +8 Charm and +5 Speech, right?

And he always loved gambling, the thrill and the excitement of a potential loss of a great reward!

The stakes were higher now, he wanted another kiss from the man… a kiss that wasn’t a stolen one in a battered pickup -even if he would rewind Time to just feel that again, mind you!-.

He wanted a more relaxed kiss, long and heartfelt… the honey-blond wanted to wrap his arms around Aoi’s thick neck, caress his inky locks, feel his body press against him.

Kouyou finished to put on his ‘alluring’ clothes and in the end he threw on them a pair of quite normal black leggings and an oversized, fluffy, gray Christmas sweater.

“I’ll get another kiss from him… we bet?” Kouyou whispered to the mirror, grinning at his reflection. “Hell yes we bet” he answered himself after few seconds of silence. “Kou, dear! Go ask Mr. Shiroyama if he wants to pass dinner with us! I forgot I don’t have his number” Ms. Takashima called for her son from the kitchen and Kouyou didn’t wait a single second.

He ran downstairs, grabbed his jacket and dashed through the snow with his long legs.

White clouds puffed out of his mouth while he moved faster and faster towards the neighboring house, but as he approached the front porch Kouyou saw all the lights turned off.

The man wasn’t home?

Trying to not let his own heart sink between his ankles, the honey-blond moved around the building to reach the back: there the lights were still on and the back door was slightly open to show a scrawny kitchen, with barely any sign of living.

The paint was falling in flakes off the walls and the only three cupboards present were all made of scrap wood, as if they were made hastily “ **Ah nae, sorry, Ah cannae...** ” the man’s voice crept from a corner of the kitchen, speaking a language that Kouyou never heard.

It was harsher than English, almost rough… but Aoi’s tone was soft and bashful. “ **Aam takin' th’ hennie skiin' thes year... yeah, therapist said it will help a wee** ” another strange phrase and a bunch of muffled thuds.

Cupboards opening and closing.

Kouyou inched closer to the slit between door and jamb, looking inside: Aoi was talking at the phone, fully clothed with his furry leather jacket and a single plastic bag on the spartan table.

From it, the man was taking canned food of every type, from vegetables to meat and fish.

Even some kinds of fruit in syrup. “ **New hoose? Mmh aye, Ah forgot tae teel ye we waur movin'** ” Aoi stopped moving, his hand still gripped on the cupboard’s nob. “ **Ye ken, wi' th' therapy sessions an' th' wark in th' shop–** **I'll send ye some picters, it's a braw place** ”.

He seemed… sad, with his shoulders sloping and his head bowed down.

His face was hidden by his long, disheveled hair and Kouyou wasn’t able to see his expression. “ **Say guid day tae Da fur me,** **awe rite** **? Mh? He's thare? aye, sure… thenk ye** **Maw”** after that he started to move again, his voice clearing with a little cough.

Kouyou neared even more, placing both his hands on the door jamb to steady himself on the snowy step. “Hi Dad…! How are you?” Aoi’s tone cheered up a little, even if the melancholic rhythm in it still persisted “Mhh, good. Mom is making you loose hair?” a little laugh that died pretty soon. “Me? It’s… hard… I hate to lie to her but… yeah, I know”.

Aoi finished to put away what happened to be his groceries and leaned against the table with his hips, holding himself up with his free hand while the other tightened around the cellphone. “Yeah I moved away, I couldn’t stand that place anymore… mh Utah… in the middle of nowhere… the nearest thing that can resemble civilization is Salt Lake City so… ahah, yeah”.

Kouyou furrowed his brows, pouting slightly: the man moved without telling anyone…? What happened to make him flee his previous home? “Townsfolk are horrible, I miss Florida already…! But…” Aoi sighed another laugh, a gentle one this time. “Neighbors are super-sweet, in this big-ass ranch full of horses… Missus there already stuffed me up with apple pie– I’m not getting fat!”.

Kouyou saw the man arch his head back into a more sincere laugh, the first one he heard coming from him and a hot pang traversed his young heart: he was so beautiful with that smile, like a ray of sun piercing through dark clouds. “She helped me up finding a job ‘round here… teaching woodworking to some kids at the local high-school… I’m fine with them, they’re grown-up already… y-yes I’m taking them… doc said twice a day…”.

Kouyou was soaking up everything like a sponge: doc as in ‘doctor’? Twice a day… he had to take some kind of medicine? The more he heard, the more Kouyou wanted to know about the man of his dreams.

Suddenly, though, a cold shiver made his whole body twitch and his foot slid on the frozen snow, making him stumble right through the back door.

Yuu turned and saw Kouyou fall face-first on the cracked tiles of his kitchen and he instinctively walked up to him, kneeling down. “For fuck’s sake kid!” he scowled, while the honey-blond rose his head with a groan and a reddish patch on his forehead. “Are you ok? What the fuck are you doin– the neighbor kid, dad… Call you guys later ok?” Yuu then quickly turned off the conversation, hiding his phone away.

Kouyou scrambled up on his knees, sitting on his heels and massaged his face with the fuzzy sleeve of his sweater. “What did you hear?” Yuu asked, serious.

If someone knew, he didn’t know what he could do… “I…-” “What did you hear? Why are you here?” the older’s hands rose and tightened around Kouyou’s arms in a tight, trembling grip. “I heard nothing, I just tried to knock and I fell! Jeez…” the honey-blond backed off a little from that seize, feeling his cheeks flush. “My mom sent me…” Kouyou added, his lips sticking out in a frown.

Will he believe him if he pouted hard enough?

Yuu sighed deeply and let him go, scratching his nape. “Sorry… you startled me… what does she wants? If it’s a job she’s looking for I don’t know if I can make it right now-” “She wanted to invite you over… my Dad can’t make it for Christmas but she made so much food it’s going to spoil with just the four of us… so…” Kouyou leaned forwards just a little, pressing his palms on the floor. “If you’re alone this Christmas… you can come eat with us”.

Kouyou dared to use his softer voice, his eyes fluttering closed and back open again: he was so near Yuu he could feel his body heat radiate from him like from the very sun in the sky. “I don’t know… I’m not a very cheery person if you didn’t get it–” “My mom would be really happy if you passed Christmas with us… and… I would be happy too…” the honey-blond inched closer.

Closer… so much closer he felt Yuu’s hot breath on his face.

Suddenly a big palm pressed on his face and pushed him away, with gentleness. “If it will stop you from making those bedroom eyes, I’ll come…” Yuu sighed defeated, rising on his feet.

Kouyou grinned, mirroring the man’s actions and taking his hand on a whim. “Let’s hurry up then! Table’s probably all ready by now!” he chuckled as he ran out of his neighboring house, dragging Yuu behind himself.

The younger was feeling his own heart thumping fast and hard into his chest, sending sparks all over his body: he was going to pass Christmas together with the man!

And Yuu was trying to keep up with the other’s long legs, feeling a smirk creeping on his lips as warmth started to swell inside him.

His first Christmas with someone beside himself since…

] [] [] [] [

He never laughed so much in such a short period of time.

Ms. Takashima was a hurricane of a woman, her energies never faltering as she brought food on the table, juggled with the rascal twins and a not-so-eager-to-help Kouyou and managed to take out of the fridge at least a couple of cakes.

The girls, named Mitsuki and Satsuki, were doing everything in their power to escape their motherly watcher to go inspect both the gifts under the Christmas tree and the stranger in their house, crawling under the table to pop up on the other side, giggling.

They asked Yuu an infinite amount of questions, clawing at his clothes to get his attention, and the man tried to not choke to death on a piece of roast-beef when one of the little girls asked if he was “ _single enough to marry her next year_ ”.

Ms. Takashima threatened them to ban dessert from that household for the next three month, as she noticed they weren’t at their places and the kids dashed away, pleading and laughing.

And then… there was Kouyou.

That boy never stopped looking at him with his hazel eyes full of a mellow, relaxed fire and Yuu could almost see his mental movie air in those big irises.

The honey-blond was a different type of charming: a charm made with innocence and doe-eyes, tender and supple skin that resembled the one of an angel, those light and soft hair framing his delicate face.

Yuu kept his eyes on the mother of that family, focusing on how she resembled his own mother at some point, but the raven’s brain was veering more and more towards the teenager sat in front of him.

Kouyou was _too much_ , for him, to bear…

The teen’s friend passed by during that long dinner, leaving gifts and long stares at him –Yuu even heard some mumbles between the boys, the shorter and buffer one snickering at the taller with an shit-eating grin– and finally the older man started to feel at ease in that home.

The more Yuu ate and drank, the more he felt at peace. “May I tempt you with some Eggnog?” Ms. Takashima asked him with a chuckle, stretching out a ceramic mug filled to the brim with something white and foamy.

Yuu blinked a couple of times, watching that beverage and then up to the woman. “Eggwhat?” he asked and everyone there laughed. “Don’t tell me you never tried it before! It’s _Eggnog_!” Kouyou said as if it was the most common thing in the world.

Yuu sighed with a bashful smile now, taking the warm mug into his palms. “Sincerely I never tried it before…! Christmas is a little messed up, in my family” the raven said, before rising the mug to his lips.

A thick, sweet liquid washed all the remnants of that big dinner off his tongue and as it went down his throat, Yuu felt the familiar burn of liqueur in the creamy taste.

Some of the white foam clung on Yuu upper lip and as he went to lick it off almost instinctively, Kouyou watched that tongue with warmth coiling in his stomach, imagination and reality starting to mix up again.

The dark pearls the man had for eyes shone as if he was a little kid eating chocolate for the first time. “Mmmh I taste rum…?” he asked, watching Ms. Takashima clean up one of the young girls’ mouth with a damp cloth. “Yes! You’re a pretty good connoisseur uh? My husband always spikes it so I thought-” “Can I try it too?” Kouyou intervened with a hopeful smile.

The woman wore a pouted scowl on her face and her son recoiled immediately. “You’re still too young, Kou! Try next year, mh?” she then sighed and let the twins rash in the living room, both aiming at the big, flashy packages under the tree. “If you want more, it’s in that pitcher– GIRLS NO! Stop it, that’s not for you!”.

Yuu chuckled, seeing the woman walk up to one of the twins to make her put down a slim box, and he drank more and more of the Eggnog, appreciating its nutmeggy aftertaste mixing so well with the warm scent of rum.

He gulped down a good three and a half mugs, his head fogging up deliciously and his thoughts finally scattering away, but soon he regretted drinking so much: when he turned towards the boy in front of him, Yuu noticed they were alone in the kitchen.

And the scene unfolding before him was enhancing even more his tipsiness, making his head spin.

Kouyou wasn’t looking up at him, his face tenderly focused on the book his friend gifted him earlier and a pair of thick-rimmed glasses resting on the straight bridge of his nose.

The kitchen light was creating soft shadows on his tender skin and Yuu found himself aching to caress his slightly rosy cheek.

He was so beautiful, enchanting even, and Yuu rested all his weight on his elbows, hunching slightly over the table. “You like reading, uh?” the older asked with a faint slur in his speech and Kouyou flashed his eyes up on him.

Oh no… He lost himself again!

Kouyou only wanted to read the first page, since Akira didn’t bother to explain anything to him about that book, but his brain detached from reality so quickly and–!

_Calm down Kouyou, he’s not mad…_

The teen wanted to answer, but he saw his mother nowhere to be found and immediately his mouth dried up. “I… well, yes. It’s good for your mind, I guess” he muttered with a little smile on his lips.

Yuu nodded, eyes still wandering on the other’s face, finding that not a single mark was staining his pale, delicate skin of his.

Only the feeble shade of his honey-blond locks of hair danced on his features every time Kouyou moved his head. “You… liked the Eggnog, I see” the younger chuckled under his breath, the redness of his cheeks increasing.

Yuu smirked, watching the now empty mug near his wrist. “Delicious… I think I’m going to drink this for the rest of the winter, if your mother will grace me with the recipe” the smug smile of his face started to fall for a more intense look.

How he wanted to lean more on the table, give in again into the fantasy he cradled every night since he got there.

Like a couple of days prior, in his car.

Yuu craved for Kouyou’s young and plump lips, but at the same time his logic wanted to stop him from making a big mistake.

The boy was way out of his reach, legally speaking, and his mother was a good person, he didn’t want to destroy that family… maybe they didn’t even know Kouyou was swinging that way…? Maybe he had to step down, be only a good neighbor and teacher– “Mr. Shiroyama?”

Both Yuu and Kouyou froze on the spot and the older turned to see Ms. Takashima with a tired smile on her lips. “Thank you so much for keeping us company, really… but I have to take the girls to bed and you probably want to go home too” she was cradling one of her daughters on one arm, while the other was yawning, holding her mother’s hand.

Yuu stood up from the table and smiled at the woman, shaking his head. “You made all that wonderful food, I get to clean up” he spoke as cordially as he could, trying to not sound too drunk. “Oh you shouldn’t-” “But I want to… Don’t worry missus, go take your beauty sleep” the raven chuckled.

Kouyou saw his mother weight her choices in her head, then he saw her nod with a defeated look. “Oh, I’m too tired to fight a nice fella like yourself… but tomorrow morning I promise you’ll get some nice breakfast from me! Goodnight Mister, thank you again” she said, before walking up to her son.

Ms. Takashima bowed on him and the teen stood up with a faint smile as his mother kissed him goodnight on his cheek. “G’night dear… be good and help Mr. Shiroyama with the cleaning” she whispered.

A couple of minutes later they were alone again and Yuu was starting to take all the dirty dishes to the sink. “I could do it, you know…” Kouyou uttered, walking up near him with other dishes and a couple of glasses. “I usually do it anyway, in the evening, so–” “Listen here…” Yuu stopped his phrase and as he turned he saw the younger too much near him.

Too close for his tastes. “I couldn’t bring anything like a good host would do… let me repay all of you for this wonderful Christmas in the only way I know otherwise… ok, lanky boy?” Yuu’s voice deepened and Kouyou felt a shiver down his spine.

A good kind of shiver, warm and enveloping.

Kouyou nodded, but helped him out anyway by drying and putting away the dishes, the silverware, the table cloth… until there was nothing else but a fridge full of good food and the snow piling up outside.

Yuu rolled down the sleeves of his knitted sweater and took his fluffy leather jacket near the door “Ok, it should be everything… I’ll go now before we get snowed in–” “Wait…!” Kouyou breathed.

His trembling hand stretched out to grab the back of his sweater, feeling it so warm into his cold fingers. “I… have a gift for you…” the younger added and the man turned, watching the taller with a tired, but confused look. “I’ll go get it… Just… wait in the kitchen ok?”.

A gift? For him?

Yuu got even more confused when Kouyou left, disappearing on the other side of the first floor’s hallway.

Jacket wrapped on his forearm, he waited for Kouyou to come back, but his mind was whisking theories upon theories of what the boy could possibly gift him while his feet dragged him into the kitchen.

On the other side of the bathroom’s door, Kouyou quickly removed the black leggings and the furry sweater, watching himself in the mirror: he shrugged down a shoulder of the thigh-long, light-gray sweater and grinned when he read the words ‘Merry Christmas you filthy animal’ on the front of it.

Then he bowed to fix both the thigh-high knitted socks he put on and made sure a good part of his thick thighs were showing, his skin making a good contrast with the softness of the fabrics.

With that he walked out and strolled down the hallway mouthing words of encouragements to himself.

_You can do it… it’s your bet… you’ll win him…_

As Kouyou reached the kitchen, Yuu was looking out the window with a distant, lone light in his eyes. “Merry Christmas…” he whispered and he saw the raven’s pupils dilate as soon as they noticed him.

A muffled _fwump_ followed soon after, when the man’s jacket fell on the ground near his feet.

Yuu watched the boy slowly walk towards him, stopping a couple of feet away. “Is this a fucking joke?” the man uttered completely out of breath.

If Kouyou before was beautiful, now he was stunning, angelic and sinful at the same time, his lips lightly pouted and his eyes falling down as his cheekbones flushed red.

His hands were fidgeting in front of him, barely poking out of the big sleeves of the sweater. “Nh-nh” he only hummed, shaking his head.

Yuu power-walked up to him, grasping his hips and trapping him between himself and the wooden table. “You’re fucking with my head, uh? You think it’s funny?” the raven rumbled, but there was no anger in his voice.

His tone was breathy and low, a slight accent starting to shine through in his words. “I-I think you’re beautiful” Kouyou spurted out, his trembling hands starting to move out to grab Yuu’s knitted sweater. “And I really… really… _really_ …” words started to die inside Kouyou’s throat as the older pressed more against him.

Suddenly the raven lowered his hands and grabbed Kouyou’s ass, making him roughly sit on the dinner table. “ **Ye tay guid at messin' mah feckin' heed** ” Yuu growled in the bottom of his lungs as he inched closer.

The kiss they shared was forceful, desperate and full of want: Kouyou’s hands rose to claw the other’s black, tangled locks and Yuu’s palms never stop kneading the younger’s supple, naked thighs, feeling the boy’s heels caress his own calves.

Kouyou could taste the Eggnog and the rum on the other’s tongue as he started to lap and nip at the taller’s plush lips, deepening that kiss even more.

It was sweet-tasting, it was sticky and messy, Kouyou panting so much he suddenly feared his mother could hear them.

The younger felt his head going dizzy for the lack of air and he slumped back on the table, his legs still trembling around the older’s hips. “Merry fucking Christmas to me…” Yuu mumbled as he hunched over Kouyou, biting at his jawline, licking his neck and nibbling at his uncovered shoulder, going more and more down.

Yuu stopped with his head right between Kouyou’s heavenly thighs and slowing his movements he caressed his leg with a cautious palm, placing a soft, tender kiss there were the skin was hugged by the fabric.

Then another kiss, and another one again, Yuu’s chiseled lips grazing the other’s soft skin with the gentleness of a lover, his eyes closed and his brows lightly furrowed in the focus he was imprinting in each of those effusions.

Kouyou was trembling, his hands creeping down to grab Yuu’s hands in his quivering fingers, moving his legs so his knees fell on the man’s shoulders.

It was impossible… it was unthinkable but yet there they were, teeth and lips and tongue tasting his body as if the man was a sommelier, slowly and methodically reaching for his crotch.

Waves of pounding hotness caressed his whole body and Kouyou’s eyes were almost rolling inside his skull when the man nipped at the younger’s balls through his dark-green briefs, his hot breath rising goosebumps all over his lithe skin.

And at the first long lick at his hard, clothed shaft, Kouyou bit his lips and clenched his legs around Yuu’s head, bolting both his hands up to covers his whimpering mouth.

Soon after that, he started feeling something hot pooling inside his underwear.

In the haze of the orgasm, Kouyou realized he was still holding onto Yuu’s head with his legs and he quickly released him… and Yuu was grateful for that, since Kouyou’s thick thighs were giving him troubles breathing.

“S-Sorry… Sorry- I” “You came just with that…?” the man snickered at the younger, seeing him starting to tear up.

Kouyou was so embarrassed, how could he come so quickly?

He usually had a lot of stamina, taking forever with his hands, but now…! “I’m… Sorry I didn’t… Sorry-” Yuu rolled his eyes and placing one hand at each side of Kouyou’s waist he stood up, reaching for those shaking lips.

He kissed them again, slowly and comforting, backing off only when he heard the other relax. “It’s fine… Hey, it’s fine…” Yuu whispered, one hand snaking up to his cheek, cradling it.

They stood motionless for a couple of seconds, forehead against forehead, noses brushing, then the boy fluttered his eyes open and watched Yuu’s black eyes shine with the same lonely light of before.

There he was, his Aoi… his lonesome royal… with so many heavy mysteries on his shoulders the cracks in his bones shimmered through his dark mask.

Kouyou moved his hands and cupped his handsome face, leaning in to kiss his lips again, before he could slide his arms around his neck into a warm hug. “Yes… It’s fine…” he whispered near the older’s ear.

The raging hurricane constantly present into Yuu’s head subsided in the younger’s hold and as his body started to tremble, the man hugged Kouyou back.

Hiding his face in the soft angle between Kouyou’s neck and shoulder, finding shelter from himself.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks @Aoi_sensei for your amazing work as beta çwç this fic and all the others I'm writing are what they are because of you~

 

> It was a nice, hot evening and as the sun was rolling inside the sea, he closed up the shop so he could go home and enjoy some good iced tea.  
>   
>  Yuu smiled melancholic as he watched a couple of kids run past him and towards what seemed to be their grandparents: he missed his laddie so much, but their lives were starting to patch back up again and she was slowly getting better.  
>   
>  Of course if was hard, dancing on the edge of a breakdown every other day, but until he had her, he promised to be strong, to be her support.  
>   
>  Sitting at the driver seat on his pickup, the man took his phone and scrolled down some chats, searching for his wife’s. “Coming back home now, need something?” he tapped on the screen, seeing the double tics turn white then blue, with the little _seen_ warning near them.  
>   
>  She didn’t write back, but maybe she was cooking so she had her hands busy… Nope, it was too early in the afternoon for her to get dinner ready…  
>   
>  Yuu then realized it was Thursday and that was therapy day: maybe she was still stuck at their therapist’s office, so she would be home slightly before him anyway.  
>   
>  Well, that meant he was on dinner duty and Yuu licked his lips remembering their favorite restaurant was still open and running at that time of the day. “Hell yes, sushi night~” the man chirped.  
>   
>  Writing to his wife again, his lips curved into a softer, enamored smile. “Be good with the doc, I’ll buy us some sushi ♥ Love you” Yuu then put down the phone on the passenger’s seat and started up his car.  
>   
>  He drove slow and steady around Palm Harbor, watching light-colored houses pass near him together with little malls, some McDonalds, green and leafy palm trees.  
>   
>  Yuu loved Florida even if sometimes he missed his old home: it was almost as humid as Scotland, but it was deliciously hotter and the constant presence of the sun was a cure-all for his mood.  
>   
>  Then there was the sea, a warm sea bordered with long, white beaches and he discovered the pleasures of both surfing and windsurfing.  
>   
>  The scent of the ocean always played with his hair everywhere he went, making them wave and flutter right beneath his nape.  
>   
>  Carding one hand through them, Yuu thought he should probably cut them by the end of the month.  
>   
>  Having them longer would be a nuisance in his line of work, he was already getting too much wood chippings in them as they were in that moment.  
>   
>  And he was still well enveloped on all his little mundane thoughts when a yell startled him right after closing his car. “ _IL MIO AMARETTO_!” the happy call was coming from a tall, tanned man with short brunette hair and bright green eyes.  
>   
>  He was walking towards him from the other side of the road with a kid literally yanking his hand to make him move faster. “Stop calling me that way, you friggin’ _mafioso!_ ” Yuu answered with a giggle, waving at the two with a bright smile on his face.  
>   
>  That was Sebastiano Costa, his best friend since college: he was italo-american of second generation, with both his parents still alive and kicking… and cooking as good as hell.  
>   
>  Yuu still remembered with immense joy the immense barbecues Costa Senior made around the Forth of July for both their families!  
>   
>  And the little boy currently trying to get his attention was the other’s son, Leonardo. “How’s going?” the raven asked the taller, before he could kneel down and take the kid in his arms, hoisting him up. “Good, good! Wifey’s almost done with Alma, you know?” Sebastiano spoke with pride. “Nine months literally flew… Leo can’t wait for his little sister to come~!” “It’s not true!” the kid yelled. “ _Zio~_ I don’t want a sissy!” he then added looking up at Yuu and both men laughed.  
>   
>  Then the cheery moment fell into silence as the taller cleared his throat. “And… how are you doing? I mean, with all that… It’s been a lot since you guys got to pass some time with us, it’s everything alright?” Sebastiano’s green eyes looked down at him with concern and Yuu instinctively hugged the kid a little more, feeling its tiny body comfort him just a pinch.  
>   
>  Leonardo looked up at the man holding him, then his father and back to Yuu, his face confused for the sudden coldness around them. “Yeah, it’s… it’s all fine” Yuu nodded, trying to maintain the smile.  
>   
>  The Italian knew what the Shiroyamas passed in the last year and both him and his wide family supporting them as much as they could… but some things were never going to disappear. “I mean, it’s been months since the funeral and missus is seeing a therapist. She feels better, y’know? She’s even planning something special for Thanksgiving” Yuu knelt down again to let go of the eight-year-old, ruffling his blond hair.  
>  Sebastiano smiled softly, almost relieved to hear all of that. “When can I see _zia_? I miss her” the kid whined and Yuu chuckled. “Not today, Leo! Maybe next week–” a phone call interrupted his phrase and immediately the man in front of him answered with a whispered ‘sorry’.  
>   
>  Silence fell for few seconds, the buzzing of a voice speaking on the other side of the conversation, then… “WHAT?? _Oh cazzo_ …! I-I’m coming!! Hold on honey!” Sebastiano stuttered, while his son pouted. “ _Papà_! You said a bad word!” “Sorry Leo… Mommy’s waters broke…! Yuu I have to go, I’ll send you some pictures!”.  
>   
>  And the raven laughed when he saw the man literally take the kid in his arms and sprint away, along the sidewalk. “DON’T PASS OUT AGAIN!” Yuu yelled at the other’s back with a smile.  
>   
>  Things were really starting to get back to normality, uh?  
>   
>  With his soul cheered up a little, Yuu bought two boxes of take-aways and getting back in the car he checked the phone: no texts from her, but for a moment he thought he saw the three little dots of her typing.  
>   
>  Mh, no… it was probably his mind playing tricks with him, he thought as he drove along the road until he reached a long driveway with lots of one-floor, long houses.  
>   
>  Yuu parked in front of the little garage his cream-colored house had, got off the vehicle and sighed as he reached his front porch: Seb was a really good friend, Leonardo was Ryo’s best friend and all of them were really close… but the Italian really never stopped talking if you gave him only a fraction of your attention!  
>   
>  The man entered his home while holding the boxes against his chest, pushing the door with his foot. “Hennie I’m home! Sorry I’m late, bumped into Seb and Leo earlier…!” he announced himself, hearing only silence answer back to him.  
>   
>  Yuu frowned, looking down at his wrist watch: almost eight and a half in the evening, she should’ve been at home by now.  
>   
>  Shrugging, he toed his shoes off his feet and walked through the living room towards the dinette, resting their food on the short wall between the two rooms.  
>   
>  His eyes then moved in the kitchen, seeing one particular drawer missing and leaving a rectangular hole in the counter he himself made from scratch.  
>   
>  The drawer was on the ground and silverware was scattered everywhere on the terracotta tiles, together with a broken padlock he remembered too well.  
>   
>  Yuu felt his blood pressure rise suddenly and his hands tingled. “Hachi!?” he immediately called, turning his back to the kitchen and starting to trot inside their house.  
>   
>  Their bedroom was empty.  
>   
>  And also it was the main bathroom.  
>   
>  Reaching Ryo’s bedroom, a raspy breath was weighting the air, mixed up from time to time with sobs and soft wails.  
>   
>  _“I couldn’t stop…!”_  
>  _“I couldn’t stop… I’m sorry… I couldn’t stop…”  
>   
>  _ Blood was pooling in the corner of the room, right behind the little white dresser, and the shine of a long blade caught his eyes.  
>   
>  Arms full of scratches, both new and old, were trembling while rising towards him, fingers and palms completely covered in blood.  
>   
>  _“It was my fault… it’s my fault… I’m sorry…!”_  
>   
>  Naked thighs severed and trembling, cuts so deep Yuu could almost see her bones peeking through the oozing blood.  
>   
>  So much blood… too much blood.  
>   
>  And her big, chocolate eyes watched him while drowning in tears and panic. “I… couldn’t stop… Yuu…! I… Don’t be mad… please!”.  
>   
>  Yuu ran to her, stretched out his hand…

 

And his whole body twitched him awake, jumping on the mattress with a jerk.

His skin was covered in cold sweat, goosebumps rising in waves as he heaved breathlessly.

Yuu felt his chest tighten, as tight were his fists on the blankets and his brain was screaming into his ears, deafening him with both memories and blood pressure.

He couldn’t breathe… He needed to get up, his legs were tingling…!

Clambering out of bed, the man walked inside the bathroom with unsteady feet, gripping the sides of the sink so much he _hoped_ it would collapse under his fingers.

Instead his knuckles went white and his arms quivered, but nothing more happened than that. “One… two… three… four… five…” he started to count while inhaling, eyes painfully looking at himself in the mirror.

> _The blood was already cold on the floor and her skin lukewarm as he tried to stop the red flow._

A spasm in his mind made him twinge in agony, as he held in the breath, teeth clacking against each other.

> _The smell of blood was salty and nauseating, gripping at his throat while he tried to hold tight the reins of his mind.  
>  _ _“I tried… I tried to… I want him back, it’s all my fault! I’m sorry!!”_

He needed air… fresh air, cold air, anything but the closure of fucking walls, pressing on him so much it was driving him insane! _  
_

Like a madman he scuttled out of the bathroom, hitting walls and door jambs with his shoulders, but he didn’t stop until he grabbed his jacket and swung the back door open, scrambling in the snow still barefooted, his lungs filling with the chilly air of the night.

The frost bit at his body like a rabid wolf, sinking inside his muscles and Yuu let out a strangled yelp as his legs gave in to the coldness and the panic.

He fell onto his knees, curling up on the snowy meadow between his new house and the pine forest behind it.

The physical pain always managed to bring him back from his torturous mind, but it wasn’t enough tonight, it wasn’t able to take him back to reality, to the present day.

“One… two… three… five… eight…”

“One… t-two… three… fo-our…”

He tried to do as the therapist said to him last time they saw each other, he tried to count his breaths, to focus on positive feelings and on _things_ around him… but it was all bullshit.

> _“You loved him so much… I’m sorry…! It was all my fault!”  
>  _ _Weak sobs and sniffles mixed up with the professional voice of the nine-one-one operator telling him to calm down, that an ambulance was on their way.  
>  _ _It never arrived in time._

**_Enaw…_ **

**_Please enaw…_ **

The pressure in his entire body bubbled up in his tired lungs, his throat clenching and pulsating and Yuu tilted the head back, lips stretched and teeth bared.

## “AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”

A scream shattered the still night, choked in the back of the throat and to inattentive ears it could be easily mistaken for the sound of a wounded animal.

Hot, thick tears grouped at the corner of his eyes, rolling down his cheeks and hitting the thin fabric of the shirt he was wearing underneath the open jacket.

Then another one came seconds later, an exhausted and gruff one as Yuu closed up into a trembling ball, his hands clawing his sides.

His chest hurt so much, compressed by all of his contracted muscles, and to him it felt like all of his tendons gripped around his fast-beating heart.

**_Ah want tae_ ** **_die… lit me die… Please_ ** _**lit me die!** _

Hours passed, the dark sky lost all of his stars one at the time and the far-away horizon began to change its colors… and Yuu still was in the twinkling snow, his whole body shaking and his breath his only source of heat.

His feet, his legs, his arms and hands felt numb for the freezing cold, but he was still back in Florida with the stench of blood and the weight of a slumped body in his arms.

Yuu didn’t even noticed the muffled sounds of big steps and a long rosy muzzle chuff white clouds right above his head.

] [] [] [] [

Kouyou was still floating in the wonderful dream he was doing when the tired voice of his mother called him. "Hellion jumped over the fence again… I swear I'll build a damn wall around the stables" she muttered while dressing up one of the teen's sisters in a pair of thick leggings.

Kouyou huffed, sinking his face in the pillow and a sudden whiff made his whole body warmer.

Aoi's scent was still trapped inside his hair from the night before and inhaling it served to calm the boy down to a mush. "Ok ok I'll go... But I'll pass the shovel for today!" he said while getting off the bed, a soft smile on his face.

Every movement he made remembered him the magnificent kiss they shared, the raven's teeth nibbling at his skin, his hands groping and kneading his thighs… He had to tell everything to his friends as soon as possible!

Then Kouyou finished to put on the warmest clothes from his closet, he walked out of his home like he was walking on clouds, his lips still stretched into a seraphic expression.

Ahh how he wished for even more…! He knew it was greedy to ask for more, but coming too early with the man of his dreams wasn't in his bucket list for sure…

He wanted a real moment only for them, without parents nearby that could hear them, be alone with the man and take all the time in the world to enjoy what he could give him… and try his best to give back.

Sighing like an enamored girl, the teen walked around the stables and watched the meadow behind them completely covered in snow.

It was still so early in the morning, the sun barely poking out of the horizon, but the frost was already glistening like a beach made of glass and Kouyou’s hazel eyes watched how the clouds opened to reveal a pinkish sky above his head.

Winter mornings were wonderful, silent and relaxed, the crib of every of his most beautiful reveries.

But looking around, Kouyou’s mind landed back on Earth as he saw the holes of Hellion's hooves in the pristine blanket of snow: following them with his shiny pupils, he saw the horse’s head and neck sticking out of the thick, white layer.

Was she laying on the ground?

Horses sat or laid down for a multitude of reasons, of course, but the only time Kouyou saw Hellion do it was because of illness. "Helly! What's wrong baby?" the boy immediately called, starting to run with difficulty through the snow, rising his feet as much as he could.

The more he approached the animal, the more Kouyou felt something pinch at the back of his nape.

It was the coldness wetting his trousers?

Or it was the breathless wheezing shaking the air around his horse?

Hellion was on her side, her big belly pressing against a black form in the snow, and while her legs were folded underneath herself, her long, rosy muzzle nudged the man curled up on the ground before chuffing big white clouds at her owner.

Kouyou’s eyes enlarged as he recognized the trembling bundle, seeing the same hands that caressed him closed up in quivering, reddened fists.

His face was tensed, jaw vibrating and teeth clacking against each other behind his stretched, blueish lips.

Kouyou felt his heart clench when a pair of black, beady eyes shot up at him like a pair of bullets.

Right through him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some translations!
> 
> Il mio amaretto! = My amaretto!  
> 'Amaretto' is a typical [Italian cookie.](https://www.cucchiaio.it/content/cucchiaio/it/ricette/2009/12/ricetta-amaretti/jcr:content/header-par/image_single.img10.jpg/1449153414442.jpg)  
> It's made with almonds and its taste is on the bitter side, so Yuu's friend is calling him that for both the cynical character of the raven and the fact that he has heavy japanese traits (almond eyes and really pale).  
> Basically he's calling him the japanese version of "MAH NIGGAH!" xD
> 
> Mafioso = You all should know what that means xD
> 
> Zio and zia = uncle and aunt -closest family friends are usually called uncles and aunts. So if my best friend has a son/daughter, he/she would call me aunt-
> 
> Oh cazzo...! = basically 'oh fuck...!' in this case
> 
> Papà = Dad


	10. Chapter 10

 

After the few seconds of confusion, Kouyou moved and knelt down near Yuu, his hands undecided on what to do.

The only time that something like that happened, he was with his older brother and both were way younger: he needed to take his Aoi into the nearest sheltered place -his house, for example- and try to warm him up in some ways…!

He was still awake, his eyes following every move of the boy, but his body was slowly starting to stop shivering.

Bad sign.

Kouyou gulped, feeling his mouth dry for the nervousness, then as he lowered his hands to try and hoist him up, Yuu groaned in pain. “D-Don’t…” he heaved, eyes finally closing shut. “Lem-me… here” “No way, sir…! Hold on to me” Kouyou shut him up with a hurried and worried tone.

Then the taller passed an arm around and behind Yuu’s back, getting him on his knees with a lot of difficulties.

The raven’s body was stiffened and contract, but as soon as he gripped to Kouyou’s warm figure, Yuu started to _feel_ back again.

He could pinpoint every single sensation of his exhausted body, from the sharp frostbites to the burning skin on his hands, but the flashbacks were gone, swept away by the coldness piled up in his brain, and for that the man was grateful.

Kouyou felt his heart heavier instead, as he saw the older stumble on his own feet because of his frozen muscles: it was like a fallen soldier, still fighting for his life even in those painful conditions.

Once inside Yuu’s house, Kouyou felt the air stale and cold, less cold than outside of course, but the boy asked himself if the man was living without a heating system.

They slowly walked past the kitchen, but as soon as they reached the hallway, the raven leaned on one side and slided off Kouyou’s shoulder, hitting one of the long, narrow walls.

The other was so heavy that the only thing the boy managed to do was helping him sit down on the boarded floor, watching him start to shiver violently with his back propped up against the peeling paint.

Yuu’s arms crossed on his chest as he tried to curl up in a ball again, instinct asking him to keep his organs as warm as possible, but Kouyou took both his forearms in his hands, kneeling in front of him. “I-I’m sorry…!” the younger muttered as he started to remove the jacket from his body, the fluff inside it completely soaked.

When the honey-blond straightened one of the other’s arm, a low wail came out of Yuu’s throat, pain radiating from his junctures at every movement. “I’m sorry… I have to do it” Kouyou whispered, letting the jacket fall near his knee.

Then he moved his long fingers to remove the wet and stiffened t-shirt off Yuu’s torso, then tried to not fantasize on his wonderful chest as his hands ran down to slide the other’s sweatpants off his hips.

And Kouyou damned his own mouth, feeling it water when he noticed the raven’s black trunks and his thick, nervous legs covered in goosebumps.

_Stop wishing, it’s not the right time now!_

The teen quickly covered Yuu’s shoulder with his own dry and warmed-up coat and rose its hood over the man’s head. “I’m… I’m gonna search for some blankets… Try to stay awake, don’t sleep” Kouyou spoke while the man grabbed part of the cloak to wrap himself more in it.

The soft, hissing sound of Yuu’s shallow breaths between his teeth was filling the otherwise silent house and when Kouyou tried to rise on his feet, the raven shot one cold hand to stop him, tightening around his wrist. “S-Stay” he rumbled, eyes hooded by the drowsiness he was feeling.

If he saw the rest of his new home, probably the boy would cut ties with him as soon as possible… and Yuu didn’t want that, not when he needed him nearer, nearer.

Kouyou watched the older tremble, his face fighting between seriousness and panic. “I… You could worsen if I don’t warm you up…!!” the younger was frustrated and afraid, his heart beating fast inside his flat chest, but Yuu only shook his head, his damp hair clinging to his skin.

Stay here, he was saying to him, don’t go…

The honey-blond sighed, before he gently freed himself from that iron clutch. “Listen… I’ll just run to take some blankets… I’ll be as fast as I can” hazel eyes drowned inside dark, shiny ones. “I promise… just tell me were’s your bedroom”.

Kouyou smiled softly, encouraging, as if he was talking to a small child since he felt the man’s mind was in the same confused state of a frightened kid.

Wanting him there despite his conditions, not being alone… it was something that made Kouyou even more curious of what happened.

And that smile was the thing that made Yuu’s heart melt, his souls and his cold body begging him for any kind of warmth. “Down… the hallway… door on the left…” his slurred voice spoke slowly and Kouyou nodded to him, sprinting away, running deeper inside the house.

The taller forced himself to not look around, to not notice all the closed doors around himself or to stop the quick glance at the bare living room on his right: he bolted for the bedroom and once there, he opened what looked like a closet.

Inside it there were a bunch of clothes, some closed-up boxes and few bedsheets, but no comforters were found and Kouyou started to panic even more.

The only solution now was snatching the duvet from the mattress and swiftly going back to the man.

Yuu was still there, still trembling, still awake, but now laying on the floor with his hands clutched to the coat.

Kouyou tensed up as he started enveloping the man with the thick blanket, leaving a stray caress on his face as he brushed away from his cheekbone one curly lock of hair.

_He’s going to be ok… he’s going to be ok._

The boy then scrambled inside the kitchen and searched in every cupboard for some tea, broth or some heat pack that he could use… but even after opening every single hinged door, Kouyou saw there was only basic canned food and dried meat.

How could he live like that? Didn’t he have money for real groceries?

If he didn’t warm up, he was going to get into serious trouble… his Aoi was going to suffer, be sent to the nearest city’s hospital…!

He could lose him for good…!

“…Goddamn…!” Kouyou hissed as he turned to the man, kneeling down again so he was straddling the raven’s hips over his half-curled up position.

Taking the duvet in his hands, he wrapped it better behind his back and over his head, before the honey-blond could threw his arms around Yuu’s neck, squeezing him against his body.

He was going to be his source of warmth, since desperate times called for desperate measures… and Kouyou was desperately fallen for the man.

Also, the thought of being so close to him was setting Kouyou aflame, transforming him in the perfect human heater. “Fucking scare the living shit out of people… good teacher you are…” the boy whispered in the raven’s ear.

Even if his words were hard, the taller’s voice was trembling and choked up in the back of his throat, tensing up every time he tried to speak, never managing to ask what happened, why he was outside in the freezing cold with just a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Yuu closed his eyes, biting hard in the inner part of his cheeks, and rising one arm he just circled Kouyou’s narrow hips with his entire forearm, squeezing him closer.

Inhaling deeply, the raven discovered that the boy was smelling like a bouquet of wildflowers, a soft scent that managed to calm him down. “S-sorry… Didn't... want to...” Yuu groaned absentmindedly, eyes rolling inside his skull.

He was so tired and Kouyou’s warm body was starting to ease the tension of his aching muscles.

Yuu lowered both his legs, relaxing them on the ground and the honey-blond rolled on his side, both his hands starting to brush and massage the surface of the duvet in a little attempt of creating some friction and heat.

As soon as silence fell between them, Kouyou backed off few inches to watch the man’s face for the very first time so up-close, noticing little frozen glimmers at the corner of his eyes.

Were those… tears? “And made me and Helly worry a lot...” Kouyou muttered while his hand rose to tenderly brush away those foggy diamonds with the pad of his thumb.

At that motion, other tears started to stream down and Yuu tried to hide his face, to preserve at least an ounce of pride. “Stop…” he whined with his growly voice and Kouyou rose both his eyebrows, without stilling his comforting hands. “Stop what?” “Stop… being so kind…” the hiccuped phrase coming from Yuu transformed the younger’s heart into a closed fist.

Heavy and hot, a ball of melted iron pulsating in his ribcage.

Forcing another calm smile, Kouyou shifted his arms so he could cup the other’s distraught face in his palms.

He was still so cold, a bundle of shivers… “Why should I stop?” the boy asked and Yuu watched him back with a strange expression.

 _Are you fucking idiot?_ his features were yelling back at him. “I… don’t deserve…” words died in his throat as another sob choked him up and Kouyou held him more in that life-saving embrace.

So much questions were fluttering inside the younger’s mind, but the only thing the honey-blond made was shift slowly against him, trapping him between the duvet and his own body.

He didn’t know what happened, why the other was still trembling even if his temperature was rising back to normal, but the younger felt the need to say something to him.

So Kouyou searched for his face and left one soft, single kiss between the other’s arched brows. “You are worth every bit of kindness” he breathed near his skin.

And there, the bubble of strain around Yuu broke down in million pieces and for a moment he wanted to believe those words were true.

He wanted to be himself again, to live again, to walk away from the edge of the abyss he was staring into…

Yuu didn’t move when Kouyou approached his face again and his eyes closed tight to stop the tears from flowing when he felt the press of a pair of soft, warm lips.

It wasn’t a hungry kiss, a passionate one that would lead to the bed and a delicious amount of hours rolling on it.

No, the kiss Kouyou shared with him tasted like the salt of the sea he missed so much.

Like the sun he learned to despise.

Like a long lost, but never forgotten love.

The raven moved his legs with a twitch, searching Kouyou’s while both his arms wrapped around the taller’s waist into a crushing hold.

Yuu wanted to feel more of Kou’s bright soul shine away his darkness, he wanted to be purified of every pain he was feeling, but part of his mind was screaming at him.

### YOU’RE GOING TO STAIN HIM

### YOU’RE GOING TO CORRUPT HIM

### HE WILL BREAK LIKE HER

“Everything will be alright…” “N-No it... it won’t…” Kouyou sighed on the raven’s lips and Yuu sobbed softly a couple of times in response before searching his lips again as if they would help him breathe.

It was the first time, for the teen, to feel so much sadness and love at the same time, watching a grown man behave like that… the raven was almost shattering at every hiccups and the younger recomposed him every time like a puzzle.

The honey-blond continued to kiss him as gently and slowly as possible, comforting him with every gesture he could, and Yuu fell asleep on his hallway’s wooden floor, completely drained from every energy.

] [] [] [] [

One hour later, Kouyou managed to sneak away from the hold of the sleeping man, feeling every one of his own muscles as if he was covered in concrete.

It was like he ran a marathon during a heartbreak, his body tired and his soul made of lead, but his determination kicked it as soon as he put one foot on the snowy ground: he had to take care of the man.

Aoi was completely alone, he could die and no one would care or notice… well, beside him, at least.

Kouyou ran outside the old house, seeing Hellion up on her hooves and her muzzle pointed towards her owner. “Thank you Helly… I’ll feed you apples for the rest of your life…!” Kouyou whispered to her as he hugged her big, solid neck, then he moved as quickly as he could.

The boy took the horse back to the stables, then sneaked back home hoping both his mom and his sisters would be away.

He was hoping wrong. “You took so long, everything’s ok?” his mother’s voice asked as she saw him walk up the stairs.

The honey-blond stopped with his foot midair and turning to watch her as he made an unsure smile. “Uhhh yeah, Helly was just a little more stubborn and didn’t want to move away from the snow…!” he lied with a nervous chuckle.

Then he moved and started to climb the stairs again. “Mom, I forgot to tell you… uhm… me and the guys are going on a little trip today, so I’m going out now” he said, walking briskly towards his room.

He wasn’t good at lying with his face, his grin always popping up and giving him away, so talking away from his mother made the job easier.

In a hurry, Kouyou took his backpack and capsized it on the bed, emptying it on his duvet before he would run to his closet: his long fingers snatched blanket after blanket, rolling them up as tight as possible before shoving them in his backpack. “You could say it before! I thought you could take the girls to Ms. Tanabe for their piano lessons–” “Uhm… I-I can’t, sorry! I promise I’ll do it next time, but now… Well, Aki’s waiting!” Kouyou shouted as he moved left and right in his room, grabbing a couple of socks, one of his furry sweaters, mittens… everything that he could think of, really.

And when he managed to barely close the backpack, he ran downstairs again. “Wow, you guys are planning to take over the Mt. Everest?” his mother chuckled, seeing his son so weighted.

Kouyou laughed back, this time sincerely. “Well, yeah, almost…!” he replied as he took some 5-mins chocolate with him from the cupboards.

The boy then ran outside towards the main road with a cheerful greeting from his mother and he waited to hear the door close, before he could change direction and bolt in the snow.

Yuu was still knocked out on the floor, but his shoulders were still trembling and his chest heaved air in and out of his lungs, so he was still alive. “Holy shit, thanks…!” Kouyou breathed, starting to take out a couple more of blankets to cover the man.

Then, he took a folded comforter and with all the gentleness he possessed, the younger held up Yuu’s head so he could but the blanket underneath it as a pillow.

And he stopped, noticing more and more little details in his now relaxed face: a little scar near his bottom lip, a couple more on the other side, above the eyebrow.

His shiny-black, long eyelashes sinking in the dark circles underneath his closed eyes.

The gray shadow of some 5-o’clock starting to form around his jaw.

The silver pendant still around his neck, cradled in the hollows of his clavicles. “What happened to you…” Kouyou whispered on his knees, moving one hand to caress the other’s head, like he would do to a wounded dog.

He needed to know… he wanted to help him, because his heart would never forgive him otherwise.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new character pops into the scene, someone that the students call 'The Vampire'...!

The first thing Yuu woke up to was the sweet smell of chocolate.

It wasn't near, but it was surely prominent and completely different from the smell of old wood he was used to.

Then he noticed that yes, he was still on the floor of the hallway, but a new and odd softness was surrounding him.

Calling up all the strength he had, Yuu pushed against the ground with a forearm and rose from it: blankets he never saw were enveloping his tired body and one was curled up underneath his head like a makeshift pillow…

And each and every one of them was doused in a delicate perfume of wild flowers.

The man stood up until he sat against the wall and his now awake mind started to analyze his current conditions.

His body was weak, tired, painful as if he just returned from a 15-hours shift from the shop, but his mind was completely emptied.

Drained from every emotion, wrapped up in the artificial, cottony calm of drugs.

" _They kicked in, at last… A lil bit too late tho_ " he thought as his eyes noticed the lights turned on in the kitchen.

Tilting his torso on one side, Yuu watched while a long shadow was making little movements just outside the cone of his vision, behind the door jamb.

The raven was slightly surprised, though, when Kouyou appeared moments after, a black mug in his hands. "Hey, you're awake" the boy greeted him and Yuu nodded faintly. "I… I made this, it should help with the warming…" Kouyou continued to talk with his soft, deep voice and the man continued to watch him get more and more flustered. "How are you feeling? Can you stand up?" the taller added in the silence of the other's stare.

Yuu's brain was twitching, undecided between a cynical response or a more sincere one, but as soon as his cold fingers wrapped around the mug, his heart managed to swell behind his now restored walls. "Here's fine for now" his voice croaked.

Something started to nag him, a thought that was annoying like a mosquito inside his head. "Why are you still-" "Why shouldn't I?" Kouyou immediately answered back in an uncharacteristic coldness. "I don't know what happened to you…" Kouyou knelt down to watch Yuu in his dark, glistening eyes. "But you should stop pushing away the few people that seems to care… I might be seventeen, but I'm not dumb" those words sank deeply inside the man's heart and the only thing he could do was lower his eyes and tighten the hold on the mug.

Being scolded by a kid…

To escape the embarrassing moment, Yuu motioned his hands and took a sip from the mug: the chocolate in it wasn't hot enough for him to hurt himself, but its warmth was just right to give him a pleasant sting on the tongue and down his throat

And it was fucking delicious.

As he started to drink it voraciously, Kouyou relaxed his features into a smile.

Seeing the raven react so well was reassuring, really, and sitting on his own heels Kou waited in silence.

Waited for the man to empty the mug in six long gulps, waited for him to exhale breathlessly once finished and waited for him to put the mug on the floor near his side. "You should be proud of yourself" Yuu said with a softer tone in his voice and Kouyou blushed a little more, gripping the fabric of his trousers.

In that movement, a single lock of honey-blond hair swung delicately on Kouyou’s cheek and watching its soft strands caress the younger’s skin, Yuu felt his heart churn and pulse. "Being a fucking angel in this shitty world must be difficult…" and with that, the raven rose one hand, catching that stray lock to curl it behind Kouyou’s ear.

Calloused fingers brushed his jaw before they would find their place behind the taller’s nape and the taller closed his eyes to hide away from Yuu’s dark irises. “Comere…” the man whispered.

Kouyou answered his call instinctively, crawling until he was straddling Yuu again, his thick and strong arms gripping at his own lanky body with force.

There was want in that hold, but not a sexual one: Kouyou felt the desire of human contact in their embrace, a wish for emotional warmth and calmness. “What happened…?” the younger asked and Yuu only sighed against his throat, face pressing in the little nook between neck and shoulder. “Don’t ask…” the older muttered. “It’s… chronic”.

Kouyou hunched a little more on him, pressing in that hug. "If you… If happens again, don't kamikaze yourself with hypothermia, ok?" the younger spoke tenderly, his hands moving along the raven's shoulders. "If you need to talk… I can listen-" "You're too young for this kind of weight" Yuu stopped his words, tightening his hold on the boy’s ribs. "But I'll think about it…“.

Silence fell between them again, a more relaxed lull that helped both to regain a little of normality: Kouyou was still scared, deep inside, but the steady, hot breath of the man against his collarbones was calming him down.

“ _I’m here with you… please don’t be sad…_ ” he was thinking to himself, carding his fingers through the mass of black, disheveled hair.

And Yuu felt his drugs drown everything into a dull state… but a little, warm spark was still surviving, pumping into his bloodstream at every beat of his tired heart.

”Thanks… Kouyou"

] [] [] [] [

Days passed.

New Year’s Eve came and disappeared with Kouyou worried about Yuu: the man closed himself up in his home and didn’t dare to come out if not for grocery shop once a week.

To Kouyou it seemed to sigh at least once an hour, staying up late to check out his neighbor’s house in case something happened, but the boy ended up seeing his bedroom lights flicker on in the middle of the night, sometimes.

Yuu still didn’t tell him anything about what Kouyou theorized was a panic attack of some sort and talking about it with Akira, his blonder friend agreed with him. “But Shima… he’s not a wounded dog…” Akira said to him via Skype. “So don’t try to adopt him and fix up every one of his problems…! I don’t wanna see you cry if somethings goes wrong, ok?”.

Of course Kouyou didn’t want to cry!

But… Yuu really was wounded, at least emotionally… and remembering the way his words got choked inside his tears as the raven held on him, it made the boy wish to help him out.

So three weeks passed like that, with Kou falling asleep near the window every night like a dutiful look-out… and the first moment the honey-blond saw the raven in person again, was at school.

The honey-blond wanted to be the first to enter the laboratory, seeing his Aoi walking around all busy and professional, piling up some wood on the teacher desk and writing on the white board.

Their woodworking lessons proceeded as if nothing happened, like that horrible early morning was just a nightmare, but Kouyou noticed little, new movements coming from the man that his friends didn’t.

A subtle brush of fingers every time the raven placed different kinds of wood near his hand.

One quick, knowing glance of black eyes inside hazel ones.

The slight hitch in Yuu’s breath every time he walked past him.

All signs that drawn Kouyou in, transforming his crush into something more _real_.

Takanori noticed the shiny look of his taller friend and just sighed, hitting the other’s knee with his foot under the table. “Stop staring at him so much, it’s fucking giving you away” the shorter muttered, making Kouyou blush violently. “S-Sorry…” was the quiet answer that came from his lips.

With a shook of his head, Takanori smirked a little. “Don’t say sorry to me, say sorry to your ass: if you get caught, both of you would get into trouble, y’know… But he’s fucking handsome, I understand you” the smaller just snickered, hunching over when Akira swatted his shoulder with a fake offended expression.

The laughs of the little group of friends subsided when a pair of black irises shot a glare in their direction. “If Suzuki and company will allow the rest of us, we’d like to continue the lesson” Yuu said with a sarcastic side-smirk forming on his lips.

Kouyou blushed hard, slowly sinking beneath the workbench, but his heart didn’t stop thumping hard in his chest.

“Good… now, when you use the rotary tool, you have to hold it at a certain angl–” Knock-knock-knock!

Three little sounds interrupted what Yuu was saying to the class and the man rolled his eyes with a slight annoyed look on his face. “What now…? Can we fucking start to carve some shitty wood??” he hissed.

Then Yuu walked up to the door of the laboratory, opening it with a swing: on the other side there was a tall, slender man with long, curly, chestnut hair flowing around his delicate yet masculine face.

With a flashy smile, he made a little bowing motion, opening his arms with a flutter of large, white sleeves. “ _Bonjour~_! Mr. Roberts–?” the man asked and Yuu cocked an eyebrow, his arms automatically crossing on his chest.

Who the fuck was that guy? “Mr. _Robinson_ isn’t here anymore. I’m the substitute” Yuu answered quite immediately, one eyebrow rising while watching the flamboyant man hold his own chest dramatically. “Ah! _Pardonne moi_ , I forgot he went on a very deserved vacation…! Well, I might as well ask to you anyway, Mr…?”.

The chestnut-haired man inclined his head with the same, happy smile, but the raven didn’t flinch nor said his name to him. “What can I help you with?” Yuu asked back with a sharp tone, on the defensive and each and every student in the lab tilted towards the door to look who was giving them free time.

Some groaned, others rolled their eyes with a chuckle.

Everyone in the class knew who the man was: Mr. Yuji Kamijo was their French teacher, a very eccentric man that lived in their town for a couple of years now.

It sure was a strange and very chatty man, but seemed a good person.

Single and children-lover, at that!

A lot of mothers wanted to talk with him alone when parent-teacher meetings came, for many and good reasons.

But even if a lot of them thought Mr. Kamijo was an annoying -but harmless- person, Kouyou noticed how Yuu’s hands clenched in tight fists around the fabric of his turtleneck, hidden by his arms.

Why was he acting like that? “Can I speak with one of your students? I’ll snatch him really quick, I promise~” “Who and why” Yuu interrupted him again, hard and cold as a stone.

Mr. Kamijo stood there in silence, taken aback from the harsh response, but managed to regain his usual, charming smile. “If you could let young Takashima out for just ten minutes–” “I don’t see why I should let him or anyone here skip my lesson” Yuu answered back, unmovable.

Yuji tried again, trying to at least step inside the classroom, his voice now speaking with less volume.

His bright, icy eyes sinking inside the raven’s soul like daggers. “You see, _monsieur_ , Kouyou isn’t good with his _tongue_ as much as he his with his _hands_ , so…” that phrase made Yuu’s breath hitch, not in a positive way.

Was he detecting a languid tone in the other man’s voice? “If you would let him outside for me to discuss some ways to make his grades improve–” “I can _assure_ you Takashima is good enough with _both_ for him to finish my lesson and talk to you _later_ ”.

Silence fell between the two, sparks of pure electricity traveling between light and dark irises, Yuu puffing out his chest to fight the height difference with the other, like a cat blowing up its fur in front of a dog.

For a moment, the students were thinking the two were going to break down into a brawl, but soon after Yuji chuckled, shaking his head.

Defeated at his own game, Mr. Kamijo backed off with his smile watered down, his light eyes watching Yuu from head to toe for the very first time. “ _D’accord, alors_ … I’ll wait a little longer, I’m sorry if I interrupted your _precious_ lesson” with a smirk, Yuji hugged his sides with a flirtatious look into his eyes, hand softly graze his chin. “And… did we meet already, before?”.

Yuu, this time, stretched his lips into a large smile, but his eyes didn’t shine nor his expression showed any kind of happiness.

That was the ‘smile’ of a wolf baring his teeth before sinking them inside your neck.

And his voice, Kouyou never heard his tone so grave and cheerfully deadly. “Never saw your face in all my fucking life”.

BANG, the door slammed shut and Yuu turned to walk back to the desk, pressing his hips against it. “Where were we?” he asked as if nothing happened, his voice returned neutral and professional.

Kouyou swore, though, he saw his hands shake when he took the rotary tool between his fingers, showing them all how to use it to make little and precise carvings into the wood.

The honey-blond promised himself to ask the man about it, as soon as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some french translation for all of you!
> 
> Bonjour = Good morning  
> Pardonne moi = I'm sorry (Technically 'forgive me' but this case is more of a 'sorry')  
> Monsieur = Mister  
> D'accord, alors = Ok then


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [For future references](https://www.allkilts.com/home/101-black-wedding-kilt-men-modern-utility-kilt-with-chain.html)
> 
>  
> 
> You're welcome ;3

When the lesson finished, Kouyou stood up with all of his friends and followed his classmates towards the door.

Yuu was keeping it open with one hand, while the other was well gripped around his phone, all busy tapping something on it.

His tremors vanished long time ago during the lesson, but Kouyou couldn’t stop his curiosity: when he paced slowly behind Akira’s back, he tilted more on one foot and moved one hand to hook part of the raven’s black shirt with a finger.

He was the last in the line of students, so no one saw the teacher bolt his face up to watch at the honey-blond, nor they saw Kouyou angle his head like a silent question.

Yuu seemed to catch up and as he put his cellphone away he brushed Kouyou’s hand with his fingers, before following the string of students out of the classroom.

The taller wanted to go after him, but one hand wrapped around his elbow and stopped him on his tracks. “Kouyou, _mon cher_ ~!” a light laugh came from behind him. “Finally, that new teacher is a meanie, mh?” Mr. Kamijo chirped right next to him, his bright smile plastered on his thin lips.

With his eyes still glued on Yuu’s back, the younger tried to smile back: the raven was walking towards the school's parking lot, probably going straight home, damn it! “Yeah, he… he’s a little rough around the edges…” Kouyou whispered, before giving full attention to the slender teacher.

The man was taller than him, even if of few inches and that always made him feel… vulnerable.

After all, Kouyou was the tallest of his classmates, he wasn’t accustomed to being watched from above. “But he’s a good teacher” the honey-blond then cleared his voice, knowing perfectly that his cheeks were turning a faint shade of pink. “Did you… want to speak to me, Mr. Kamijo?” “Yes, _mon cher_ , it’s about your grades” Yuji put on a contrite expression, biting his rosy lips with just the tip of one of his canines.

All the students called him ‘The Vampire’ for more than one motive, one of those was his bright, but rather sharp denture… the other was his undying beauty, of course. “I graded your last test and I’m sorry to say it didn’t go well… like, at all, _garçon_ ” Kamijo exhaled deeply and Kouyou sank his head between his shoulders.

He was never good with French, it was a language that never clicked with him. “A grade like that could wreck your report card and it would be a pity, because I see how much effort you’re trying to put in it” Mr. Kamijo smiled again, more softly.

The man's hand was still clutched around his elbow, long fingers starting to… pet him. “So hear me out on this, _mon cher_ … Next spring I’ll have to accompany the first three grades on a field trip… but since dear Mr. Robertson-” “I-It’s… Robinson, Mr. Kamijo” “ _Oui-oui-oui_ , don’t interrupt me…!” the chestnut-haired man tsked. “Since your woodworking teacher is away and I don’t think the new one likes me… I’ll be all alone with a bunch of kids in a couple of months…”.

Yuji approached more the boy, smiling at him with light eyes scouting around his body before going back again into the younger’s hazel irises. “So I thought… if you’ll come with me, I might rise your grades just a little bit, the necessary to not fail you completely, of course” Mr. Kamijo saw the boy shrivel back, embarrassed.

_“Awww… he’s so cute… I'll eat him like a candy~”_

Mr. Kamijo chuckled, shaking his head. “You’ll just have to follow me and be my other couple of eyes, nothing more…! Also, you have two sisters in First grade, right?” Kouyou nodded to the teacher.

The man hummed, moving his weight from one foot to the other, leaning towards the boy. “It will be like babysitting them and a bunch of their friends… I promise it will be all fun and giggles! And you’ll be back home by evening with a C on your next school report…” Kouyou widened his eyes in hearing that.

C in French was everything he ever wished for in the past months!

Sure it was a little cheaty, getting a good grade by being the teacher’s pet -even if for one day- but he was veering too much towards the F lately, so… “It’s… I mean… just once, right?”.

Mr. Kamijo nodded, a big grin stretching on his face. “Just once, I’d never ask you if I wasn’t at my last straw! But it’s for the sake of both of us… deal?”.

The silence grew thicker for a bunch of seconds, then Kouyou nodded again.

Yuji’s eyes brighten up, along with his smile. “Perfect then! I’ll give you a heads-up before we’ll leave, so you’ll have time to prepare… I _love_ kids, but sometimes they’re so hard to handle!” and with that Mr. Kamijo flamboyantly laughed, yanking a nervous chuckle out of Kouyou.

That guy was so strange, sometimes it felt like one of those uncles you never see if not around Christmas, coming into your house as if he knew you and making bad-tasting puns… “Now trot home, my _petit mignon_ ~ And thank you!”.

Kouyou stood in the middle of the hallway, alone and his mind still a little confused for the exchange with the French teacher, but a light tap on his shoulder managed to snap him back to reality. “What did he want?” Yutaka asked with a concerned smile, Akira and Takanori standing feet away.

The taller made a more relaxed grin to his friends. “I’ll get a C in French this spring~” he chanted, seeing Akira almost choke on a badly swallowed gulp of saliva. “YOU WHA–??” “Ahhh I’m so happy to hear that!!” “Did you fucking deepthroat him for getting a C??” the group cheered and joked around Kouyou as they walked outside the school building.

] [] [] [] [

As soon as he got home, Kouyou left the backpack in his bedroom and bolted out again with the intention of going at his neighbor’s house.

After so many days without speaking to him, the honey-blond felt a little frenzy shake his heart: that morning’s brush of fingers, his calloused thumb sliding across Kouyou’s knuckles was the last drop.

I’m alright, that was the meaning of the gesture, but the younger wanted to watch the other’s black irises and ask him if he was really okay.

Kouyou trotted up the front steps of the porch and knocked at the door, but nothing came from inside.

Not a peep, not a sound.

Trying to watch through the newspaper still glued on the windows, Kouyou managed to notice that no-one was on that side of the house, so he quickly paced towards the back door.

With relief, he didn’t see the man shivering on the snow, nor passed out on the kitchen floor, but with a hint of annoyance the boy noticed the door was locked shut and the pick-up nowhere to be seen.

Didn’t he come home?

Concern started to envelop the teen, as he started to run towards the dirt road currently covered in snow, his eyes darting from one side of it to the other.

If something happened to him while coming back?

If he had another panic attack?

Kouyou ran through the snow in the direction of the town square, hazel eyes burning on every gray car he saw and he stopped when his lungs started to burn violently.

Even if stamina was quite high for a boy his age, Kouyou wasn’t a professional athlete and he never ran such a distance in so little time.

The worry only enhanced the nausea now gripping the mouth of his stomach, as Kouyou leaned his hands on his knees, heaving breathlessly.

“ _He has to be somewhere…!_ ” his mind was torturing him, forcing him up to look around: the arcade was closed, the diner almost empty at that time of the day… but something caught Kouyou’s eyes as he watched on the other side of the plaza.

A small crowd of people were on the sidewalk right next of the bowling alley, in front of the door that leaded into a little and almost hidden pub, called the Golden Goose.

Kouyou then recognized the gray, battered pick-up covered in snow not far away from there and in his eyes popped up ‘BINGO’ in bright, colorful letters.

The younger crossed the road, reaching the statue in the center of the plaza and from there he moved quickly, the smile of his discovery slowly disappearing as he heard those men shout and yell.

“ _Oh-oh… don’t tell me…!_ ” Kouyou managed to recognize a couple of those voices and as he approached the group, he heard also the noise of a fist fight, grunts and insults flying together with knuckles.

For what he could see, there was Takanori’s father in the center of that makeshift ring, breathing hard and with a raged expression.

His upper lip and part of his left cheek were reddened and swollen, his right fist shaking open and brush away on his pants what seemed to be blood. “Letting someone so disgusting around kids…!” he muttered angrily at someone. “If my son starts wearing a fucking skirt too I’m gonna throw you in the fucking mine shaft!” he continued to talk and some others men cheered him up.

Skirt?

Kouyou knew Takanori never spoke to his parents about his sexual preferences, knowing perfectly what they think about homosexuals, but…!

An harsh laugh interrupted Matsumoto and the honey-blond felt his heart stop. “I imagined… a dumb fuck like ye wouldn't tell the fucking difference…!” Yuu’s voice barked back at the man.

Like woken up from a dream, Kouyou started to move again, elbowing the barricade of people to try and get a better view of what was happening.

Then, the sounds of fighting started up again and with them the shouts around the boy: Matsumoto launched himself against the leaner figure of Yuu, trying to hit the already bloodied face of the raven, but the other ducked underneath the big fist and quickly collided his shoulder against the first’s solar plexus, clawing at his side and pushing him in the snow.

Both of them fought for the upper hand, Matsumoto Senior managing to straddle the raven’s hips thanks to his bigger body and his strength in his arms.

A rain of punches fell on Yuu and he rose both his forearms to defend himself from them, clenching his teeth hard. “Mr. Matsumoto!” Kouyou exclaimed as he pushed aside a bystander, seeing the two adults on the ground.

Takanori’s father didn’t stop and Kouyou could see a couple of those beefy fists graze Yuu’s head. “I’m gonna call the police! Let him go!” the tall boy added.

That yell made the bigger man turn with a wrathful expression, his fists still trembling for the rush of adrenaline. “For fuck’s sake…! Take away that fucking kid!” he barked at some of the people, probably his work colleagues and Kouyou felt a big and harsh hand grip his wrist.

A thorn of panic rushed in Kouyou’s mind when the stranger tried to drag him away, outside the circle of people. “N-no wait! Let me go!” he scratched that thick-skinned hand, shoring his feet on the snowy ground.

Then a yelp choked in Matsumoto’s throat and he hunched over before a couple of knees propped him up and launched the man in the crowd. “Don’t… fucking… start… a fight with a Scotsman” Yuu growled, rising on his feet.

His black, shiny eyes then darted on the struggling Kouyou and his teeth bared. “Hey, hands-fucking-off!” he barked with a finger pointed to the one yanking and pulling on Kouyou’s arm.

Fast as a lightning, Yuu’s reddened hand rose and gripped the man’s wrist, twisting it back so hard the other whined in pain. “Touch the kid like that again and I’ll fucking choke you with your balls” the raven’s voice trembled with rage and Kouyou felt a deep shiver break him apart.

He never saw the man so angry: it was so different from his cynical and sardonic self, a ball of unbridled fire ready to explode.

Suddenly, a siren startled everyone and the men scrambled away from the sidewalk, helping Mr. Matsumoto up and away.

Only a badly battered Yuu and a scared Kouyou remained. “What’s happening here?” a voice came from inside the police car slowly stopping near the curb and Kouyou sighed when he recognized the man inside.

Officer Kamui got off the car with his serious, yet gentle face on, one hand placed on his hips as he walked around the vehicle. “Arata called talking about a fight near his pub… Sir, you have something to say about it?” the policeman stopped in front of Yuu and the raven groaned.

This wasn’t his first time confronting a law enforcer, but it wasn’t a good thing to be called out like that. “Yeah, that you should put a fucking restrain on Boar-man! He almost broke my nose” Yuu said with an angered voice and only in that moment Kouyou noticed how much hurt the man was.

His right eyebrow was giving out blood like a fountain above a black eye and other bruises peppered his skin wherever it could be seen.

And there, the boy became a flushed statue when he saw what the other was wearing hips-down: it looked like a skirt of thick, black fabric, with leather accents and silvery hoops sewn on it, completed by a double-folded chain falling on the front of it.

The skirt covered his legs down to his knees and Yuu had long, black socks covering his calves. “Calm down sir, I’m here for this… explain yourself a little better and-…” when Officer Kamui’s dark eyes fell on the honey-blond, he seemed confused. “Takashima, what are you doing here? This man did something to you–” “N-No!” Kouyou blurted out, before immediately drawing back.

He didn’t mean to shout, but he was still full of adrenaline that he couldn’t stop himself. “I… I was walking on the other side of the plaza and heard some men shouting and…” his voice stopped as the policeman watched him expressionless. “And there was Mr. Matsumoto fighting with–” “Mhh, I understand now…” Gackt watched Yuu head to toe, noticing the kilt and making some calculations. “If everything settled, I suggest you to not wear _that_ around town…” the police officer pointed at the piece of clothing with a finger. “Folks here aren’t exactly worldwide, if you get me... I'll have a talk with Mr. Matsumoto on the matter”.

Yuu crossed his arms on his chest, his tongue holding back a ‘ _no really??_ ’ and when the officer turned to walk towards the drive side of his car, Kouyou sighed relieved. “But if something else happens and you’re involved, sir, I’ll have to bring you in for questionings… Takashima, go home or your mother will worry… Good day sir, Takashima!” Officer Kamui then entered the vehicle and drove away, letting the two alone in the now quiet plaza.

Kouyou massages his own neck before turning his head towards Yuu, seeing him walk rather quickly to his pick-up. “He-hey! Wait!” the boy called him, running until he stopped in front of him, both his hands on the other’s chest. “Listen lanky boy, everything is hurting like shit and I just wanna sit down… the fucker was fucking heavy” Yuu said with a gruff voice, eyes trying to look everywhere but the boy’s irises.

Kouyou nodded, hands still on his pectorals. “I’ll come with you tho… I was searching for you, before” the older blinked in surprise hearing that, but he didn’t fought the boy: he just walked around him and went sitting on the driver seat of his car, hearing Kouyou take the passenger seat near him.

Slowly, the raven used the hem of his shirt’s sleeve to dab his bloodied eyebrows, flinching when a sharp stab of pain ran through him. “Let me do it…” Kouyou stretched his hoodie’s sleeve to clothe up his hand, then leaned nearer Yuu, cautiously making his face turn cupping his sane cheek. “I’m sorry, Taka’s father is an asshole… but I didn’t think he would actually assault someone”.

Kouyou’s low, soft voice was soothing like honey on burnt skin, for Yuu, and he closed his eyes while the teen cleaned off the majority of the blood. “Was for the skirt?” the honey-blond asked. “Kilt, it’s a kilt… and yeah, I think it was for that… I was fucking minding my own business and Pig-man just pushed me off the stool” Yuu hissed between his teeth when a particularly painful pang traversed his head, but he relaxed soon after.

The boy remained silent for almost a whole minute, before he would smile at the raven, his cheeks flushed pink. “You… uhm… look really good in it, I… like it, a lot” Kouyou whispered, both his hands now caressing the other’s face with attentive motions.

With the pad of his thumb, Kouyou caressed the other’s bottom lip, his hazel eyes starting to fog for the reveries he was making.

Memories of their Christmas night and the kiss they shared…

Yuu chuckled, sincerely glad to hear those words coming out of the boy’s mouth. “Heh, I can see that” the raven snickered, opening his eyes to look at the reddened face of the younger. “Can I… come home with you? Maybe you have some cracked ribs or… something else that might… need… a-assistance…” Kouyou’s voice died one words at the time, when Yuu leaned towards him with a smirk stretching one corner of his lips.

And the older spoke to him with a husky, breathy voice, his mouth brushing against the plush, rosy lips of the younger.

“ **Want tae play nurse wi' me, aye?** ”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SMUT AHEAD**  
> Enjoy~

 

Yuu’s pick-up never made it to his home.

Instead, it parked somewhere along the road to their houses, in a little lay-bay hidden by a couple of tall, snowy bushes.

Kouyou removed his seatbelt as soon as the car stopped and as nimbly as he could he straddled the man’s legs, to just hug his neck and plant his mouth on the raven’s, kissing him until they lost breath.

He wished for another kiss at least everyday since that dreadful night and after the whispered phrase of Yuu, the teen wanted to bet a little more with himself.

The older’s tongue lapped at his full lips, entering them and fencing Kouyou’s with slow movements, humming a little appreciation when the boy moaned lowly in that heated kiss. “You’re so fucking good…” Yuu muttered, eyes glistening with passion as his hands intertwined behind Kouyou’s back. “I remember you said…” the teen answered back, panting in their embrace. “That I was illegal-years-old… You’re fine with it now?” Kouyou hunched on him again, brushing the other’s forehead with his.

Yuu chuckled, his hands snaking down past the boy’s ass before locking his fingers around his thighs. “Your beauty is also illegal, but you’re still out of jail… **Arenae ye**?” the man breathed with a smug on his face and Kouyou’s eyes widened with his face burning red.

“ _Wh-wh-wh-what’s with this smooth answer??_ ”

His lips gaped open and closed like he forgot how to breathe and Yuu snickered, leaning in for another kiss.

This time the man moved slowly, nibbling at Kou’s lips from time to time, the wet smacks of their effusion being the only sound between them. “Mmmh, yes… a fucking walking crime…” the raven spoke under his breath, sliding one of his hands up Kouyou’s thigh, feeling his warm legs starting to tremble.

The teen was beginning to feel hot again, like the passed Christmas night, but he managed to control himself a little more: he wanted to give the man the same treatment he was giving him, so Kouyou’s shivering hands moved from the other’s shoulders down his solid arms, palming his biceps for just a second before he reached for his hands.

Snatching one of them, the honey-blond rose it towards his face and left a light kiss on every knuckle, tasting the saltiness of Yuu’s blood with each and every one of them.

Then, almost without realizing it, Kouyou let his tongue out and peppered Yuu’s palm with soft kitty-licks, eyes slowly closing. “You tease…” the raven breathed, moving his fingers so he could roll the other’s tongue between his fingertips, feeling it slide down his index, passing on the middle one and rise back up again.

Yuu watched Kouyou transform from a shy and gentle kid into a transfixed angel, his expression ethereal and his eyes hazy, the light of the day shining around him from the windshield like a divine aura.

His blond hair framing his mesmerizing features like golden hay.

Yuu felt weak, his chest tightening as he noticed how simple it was to forget such sensation.

How beautiful it was to let the eyes roam on a loved one during such intimate moments…

Like an hypnotized man, the raven moved his hand to approach Kouyou’s face, brushing his open lips with the damp pad of his thumb as if to let himself enjoy the feeling of the boy’s silky, warm skin, but his heartbeat fastened when he felt Kouyou’s tongue lap at his finger.

Then his plush lips closed around it, sucking on it with the most sensual gentleness Yuu ever witnessed: Kouyou was keeping his eyes closed, his eyelashes quivering and his brows knitted just so slightly.

“Fuck…” Yuu exhaled without breath, seeing Kouyou take more of his thumb in his mouth before hollowing his cheeks and rising back up.

The teen’s tongue was wriggling lazily around it, his teeth biting just slightly at his skin and if only that was making Yuu’s head spin, he didn’t want to imagine Kouyou’s lips somewhere else on his own body.

Feeling his abs contract, Yuu’s free hand caressed the boy’s thigh, rising up and around until the heel of his hand found the other’s erection, well hidden underneath his pants.

With a little rubbing motion the raven stroked him through the fabric and Kouyou let out a soft, but incredibly lustful moan. “I can’t fucking believe you’re a damn virgin…” the man whispered.

Snapping out of that bewitched state, the honey-blond blinked a couple of times, his cheeks blushing harder than ever. “H-how did… you…?” “Kid, you came in thirty fucking seconds, last time… I made my guesses” Yuu chuckled and Kouyou sank his head between the shoulders, his hips shivering against the other’s big, rough palm.

He was battling between pleasure and embarrassment, while Yuu never stopped rubbing his crotch unhurried, his other hand finding its place on the small of Kou’s back. “I… I’m sorry” “Shut up, Kouyou… I fucking love it…” the raven growled those words on the boy’s neck, mouthing his tender skin and nibbling at it with regard.

There was fondness in every movement the man made on him, each kiss landing lovingly and every stroke on his erection slow-paced and cautious.

Yuu made him think he was made of thin crystal, something precious that needed to be handled with all the care of the world… and in that moment, despite the sexual drive and the pulsations of his heart, Kouyou felt at home.

In front of the big bonfire inside the stone room, his wonderful Onyx Czar seated on his throne with nothing but his love for him to clothe his body.

Kouyou’s mind started to drown in the fog of pleasure when calloused fingers plucked at the hem of his briefs and found the delicate, silky skin of his cock, Yuu still biting and licking and kissing his neck, his collarbones.

His other hand finding its way underneath the hoodie to pass delicately on each little bump that were Kouyou’s vertebrae, pressing him against himself. “Ahh…” Kouyou sighed, clawing the headrest of the seat, starting to move together with Yuu’s hand.

A little twist at the base, a brush of fingers on the head and Yuu’s hand pushed down and away the teen’s underwear, so much his cock got exposed to the chilly air inside the car.

The honey-blond became a whimpering mess, his whole body covered in goosebumps. “Shh… relax” Yuu muttered against the teen’s Adam’s apple.

The younger was so eager to meet with the older’s fist, arching his back more and more quickly, Kouyou’s lungs panting breathless moans from time to time and the raven sank his free hand down, under a pair of black pants and around a soft and round buttock.

He had to press Kouyou against him, he had to steal his lips again into a heated kiss, he had to close his eyes and let the warmth expand in his chest at every moan and heave of the boy on his lap.

When the raven’s hand increased its movements, Kouyou sobbed a moan in the back of his throat, eyes fluttering open to watch the man under him. “A… Ah…” he tried to speak. “Y-yes… I’m…!”.

Yuu forgot the pain in his joints for a mere instant, forgot about the still pulsing and painful eyebrow, forgot about everything that wasn’t the spellbinding expression of Kouyou as the younger danced on the edge of orgasm.

And Kouyou arched back, hands trembling onto Yuu’s large shoulders, his hips jutting up in a jerk as the electrical wave of distilled pleasure crashed on him and strings of white stained both of their stomaches and Yuu’s closed palm.

While the teen was trying to take a hold of himself, Yuu was panting as hard as the other, the sole sight of Kouyou’s orgasm bringing him near the edge too. “Mmmh… **Guid laddie** ” the raven hushed, leaning forward to let a little kiss fall on the heaving chest of the honey-blond.

Kouyou wrapped one hand around his head, sinking his flared-open fingers inside locks of pure ink and his body jerked again, swaying against him to let the sensation last a little longer.

### HOONK!

Startled by the sudden and loud sound, both Kouyou and Yuu jumped on the seat, snapping back to reality in mere seconds: leaning back, the younger inadvertently pressed the horn button on the steering wheel, making the car emit the sound still echoing through the mountains.

While Kouyou held himself more to the man like a scared cat, the raven just exhaled a chuckle. “Holy fuck I almost had a stroke… I thought it was that fucking officer…!” Yuu said, hugging more the sides of the taller and starting to laugh.

It was a sincere sound, something that Kouyou always wished to hear and looking down at the man, the young heart of his fastened: he was beauty incarnated while wearing happiness on his face and it made Kouyou realize something pretty quickly. “Ohhh my sides–! Ugh I can’t… laugh, it hurts…!” Yuu giggled with tears in his eyes for both pain and amusement.

“I love you”.

The younger’s low, husky voice reached the older’s ears, but it was so soft Yuu thought it was just his imagination. “Uh…? Did you say somethin–Mmmph!” the raven still giggled, but Kouyou shut him up with a kiss, grabbing his head in both his hands.

And when the taller detached from the other’s chiseled lips, his breath was quicker and harder than ever. “Nurse in the ward, let me do my job now” like he was a completely different person, Kouyou whispered those words on Yuu’s lips with a lustful, deep tone.

Yuu thought it was humanely impossible to have such a raging erection in the span of a millisecond… but Kouyou managed to prove him wrong.

] [] [] [] [

“Oh fuck…!”

The breathless moan coming from Yuu’s lips made Kouyou feel a little pang of pride swell inside his chest, as his hands moved on him like the other did before.

He fell between the man’s knees when Yuu made the old seat creak and slide away from the steering wheel, so the long fawn legs of the younger could be a little more comfortable against the bottom of the car.

The honey-blond unceremoniously opened the other’s black shirt, one button at the time, and Kouyou discovered Yuu’s chest again, but this time they were in a more pleasurable context so he made it last: the boy watched and palmed at the raven’s chest and abs, toned and dried by years of labor.

Those were muscles made for strength and endurance, not to show off like all those buffed-up guys in the gym.

Yuu’s body was lean, his skin a little rough with scars and marks that Kouyou wanted to memorize, every nook and wrinkle making the younger’s mouth water. “You’re… not forced to do something back, y’know…” Yuu muttered under his breath and Kouyou saw his chest hitch for just a moment.

Slowly, a grin crept on the teen’s full lips, eyes hooded both by pleasure and slyness. “But I want to do it…” Kou whispered back, hands palming the man’s sides, feeling his skin change underneath his hands into the warm and thick fabric of the kilt.

Yuu fell into a deep silence when he heard that, focusing too much on the younger’s fingers fiddle with the chain strapped on the kilt, then down to his knees and underneath the piece of clothing. “Heh… never suspected a thing…” he muttered almost to himself and Kouyou chuckled softly. “What?” “That you were a quiet one…”.

The honey-blond grinned some more, a devious expression that only his friends knew by heart: Kouyou was for sure gentle and timid, most of the times, but he completely changed his behavior into something more daring when with someone he knew or trusted.

Like all the times he and Akira got into troubles during middle school.

Or when he made a pretty hot and pretty difficult campaign in his Master days.

And now the circle closed with him temporarily taking the lead, leaning forward while he rose the kilt off the man’s legs.

Oh he knew his theory, years of porn and solo-time with his brain helped him flesh out what he needed to do and how, but as he reached for Yuu’s dark underwear, he never imagined he would actually put all those reveries at work.

And he thought that, even if the man wasn’t as bigger nor shaved-clean as all those porn-actors, Yuu’s member was absolutely beautiful.

Slightly curved, its rosy skin pulsating underneath Kouyou’s fingers, circled by a carpet of black, coarse hair that only added to the rough beauty the man had.

Curious, Kouyou fell into his scientific mood and inched closer, moving his hand up and down, his fingertips barely grazing him. “He-hey… it’s not gonna break” Yuu panted, his body responding to Kou’s light touches. “You can… put some strength into it”.

With that phrase, Kouyou’s hand wrapped around the raven’s cock and stroked him like the honey-blond would do on his own, slowly and methodically at first, getting in reward a growly, hot heave from the older.

The raven was so receptive, his body breaking into a sweat as soon as Kouyou’s thumb pressed on the underside of his member, circling the head and going back down to squeeze the base. “Oh fuck that’s… good” Yuu uttered under his breath, both his hands clawing the lower edge of the driver seat.

When was the last time he properly had an orgasm? Hell, when was the last time he even jerked off?

If Yuu couldn’t remember, it was too long ago, for sure.

Kouyou softened his grin when he watched the other slide down a little on the seat and letting his hand remain at the base of the man’s cock, he tentatively leaned forward to land a kiss on the reddish, soft and silky-smooth head.

Then another one, more open-mouthed, down the shaft.

Then another, and another, until he reached his own hand and Yuu’s thighs trembled in the strain of staying still.

The younger looked up, through a lock of his light hair, and saw a couple of black beads watch him with a thick sheen of pleasure in them: he almost felt the burning desire of the man wash over him, pushing him beyond his limits, but Kouyou fought it with all his might.

He didn’t want something rushed… at least not more rushed than things already were since the both of them were in the man’s car in the middle of a not-so-busy road.

It was his first time -physically speaking- doing something like that, Kouyou wanted to enjoy it and let the other enjoy it as much as he could.

And while the honey-blond continued to lavish his cock with warm, soft, wet kisses, Yuu was fighting himself into let the other do what he wanted.

The raven wished to sink the fingers inside the younger’s soft hair, grip a handful of them and press his cute, blushed face more against his own body.

To feel his plump lips close around him and take him all with that captivated face of his…

But Yuu focused on everything else but his cravings, letting Kouyou devour him with kisses that transformed into more daring licks, his smooth tongue caressing his cock from base to tip in one long stroke.

The boy was surely thirsty in his own ways, Yuu thought as a gruff moan bubbled out of his chest, his hips slowly swaying up and against the other’s hot tongue.

Then Kouyou stopped, using his free hand to reach for one of the still fisted hands of the raven, gently grabbing his wrist: without a word, the teen made the man’s big palm reach for his nape, before caressing along his forearm.

He wanted to know if he was doing good, if there was a special pace to use or if he needed to stop in case something happened… Kou was growing slightly nervous about it, he had to admit it. “Heh… you little jerk…” Yuu chuckled weakly.

Holding on the younger’s head, his thumb caressed his hair while Kouyou approached him even more, opening his mouth to gently suck at the head first, then slowly going down the shaft for a couple of inches.

Yuu bit his own lips when he felt and saw the other’s take him in their softness, seeing them swell and stretch at every one of Kouyou’s movement up and down his cock.

It was the most erotic scene he ever saw, with the younger’s face focused and distant, his eyes hooded and his cheeks hollowing every time he pulled back.

Yuu felt so good it hurt, the irony of fate. “ **Yoo're** … **some feckin' porn staurn… arenae ye?** ” the raven hissed between his teeth when Kouyou wriggled his tongue around and underneath the man’s cock.

His hazel eyes narrowed at the phrase, not sure of what the other said, but feeling him trembling under his hands made the younger increase his efforts, finally closing his eyes and press more.

He tried to remember what Takanori said to him in the past, jokingly talking about first times, and relaxed his throat as much as possible to make Yuu’s member finally enter his mouth completely, reaching the back of his tongue quite easily.

Then he pulled back, sucking harder, and went back down again, his fingers tightening more and more on Yuu’s legs.

It was difficult, his lungs asking him to back up and cough, but the musky scent, the raven’s husky moans and his raspy heaves hacked right through his brain, shutting down all his senses.

“ **Och fur fuck's sake…!** ” the man moaned and his hips bucked up in that heat, his other hand jutting up to hold on the seat’s headrest.

It was coming, Yuu could feel every muscle in his body twitch and contract both pleasurably and painfully…

He didn’t even managed to warn Kouyou, his mind engrossed with the feeling of his mouth and the bigger and bigger waves of hotness weave through his body.

Kouyou felt a scalding-hot spurt hit the back of his throat and there all of his alarms went off: fighting Yuu’s hold he backed up and coughed heavily, his lungs spasming for a good amount of seconds while other strings of cum landed on his hair and on his face. “F-Fuck… so-orry Kou…” Yuu whispered with his voice still thick and throaty from the orgasm he just had.

The younger shook his head while still coughing, swallowing a couple of times to clean up his throat and tasting _something_ bitter and salty at the end of his tongue.

It wasn’t the best flavor he ever had in his mouth, sure, but… it was strange, new.

A taste Kouyou definitely wanted to accustom to.

“Ahh~ damn…” Yuu muttered after both of them were a little calmer, cleaner and better-dressed, Kouyou sitting up again on his lap.

The honey-blond looked up at the man almost worried he would scold him for being completely bad at it, but the little smirk born on the other’s lips reassured him. “Best birthday gift I could receive today” the raven chuckled, circling Kouyou with both his arms.

“Birthday?”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY I TOOK SO LONG  
> It was really hard labor to make this chap because I had really a shit-ton of things to do, I started a long-term art commission and I got stuck with writer block çwç  
> I hope to write a little more now, between things, but with this chap I officially declare past the middle of the fic ^^ and I gladly say it will go all DOWNHILL from here °w°)/  
> I re-read this chapter a lot but if you find something that doesn't click or a mistake just tell me and I'll fix it k? ^^;;;  
> Sorry again and enjoy the chap!

In the end, Kouyou managed to accompany the man to his house, to his bedroom and on his bed.

They didn’t do anything ‘hot’ after their moment in the car, since the raven was starting to feel tired and in need of serious rest. “Do you have bandages? Plasters?” Kouyou asked when Yuu sat on his bed with a groan. “In the bathroom, behind the mirror” he said and he waited for Kouyou to exit the room, to remove his shirt and let the kilt slide off his hips.

While the honey-blond went were instructed, Yuu took a pair of sweatpants and put them on, before checking his chest and sides as much as he could without a mirror, seeing reddened zones on his pale skin where Matsumoto’s fists got him right.

Kouyou opened the cupboard in the bathroom and searched with his eyes for anything resembling what he needed, but his sight got caught in a couple of little orange containers, half-filled with anonymous white pills.

He managed to read the name ‘Lilitin’ on one of their labels, before Yuu’s voice could stop him. “Awww fuck… that fucking boar got me good… shit, tomorrow I’ll be a fucking wreck. Have you found everything?” the man spoke in the other room and quickly Kouyou scrambled to take some bandages and a disinfectant for the other’s eyebrow. “Yeah, coming!” he said, yanking his attention away from the pills.

Once back in the bedroom, the teen sat near the man on the bed, crossing his legs on the mattress. “I only hope you’ll not get into too much trouble… Takanori’s father has a lot of friends in the mines and they’re all buff men” Kouyou said with a slow and caring tone, methodically putting everything near his side.

Rising a hand, he cupped the raven’s face to make him turn his way and Yuu closed his eyes as soon as he felt the familiar sting of the medical alcohol.

A light chuckle bubbled up in his throat, feeling Kouyou’s fresh hands cleaning around the wound and putting on it some thin, stitch-like patches on it. “I can take ‘em, kid… I have to defend my pride!” he joked, making the teen rolls his eyes with an amused smile. “Please don’t start anything with them, I can’t heal broken heads!” the honey-blond said back to him, pressing on a more evident bruise.

Yuu winced with a little _ow!_ but soon after he moved one hand to just rest its palm on Kouyou’s leg, rubbing his knee affectionately. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be good” he muttered under his breath.

The younger’s fingers were soothing on his hot skin, all the hatred and the anger completely vanished from his mind and Yuu remained still, so much he almost fell asleep.

Silence fell for a bunch of seconds, before Kouyou could speak up again, with a low, but curious tone. “So… today’s your birthday, right?” he asked, sliding the little cotton ball full of disinfectant on the other’s cheekbone, seeing how his eyes were underlined by black circles.

Even if the raven was battered, the honey-blond couldn’t stop to fall head-first into his beauty, so rough and cozy at the same time. “Aye, I grew fucking older… I shouldn’t be in this situation with you even more, now” Yuu spoke with a little smile on his lips.

Kouyou snorted, shaking his head while he finished to brush away the blood and instinctively he leaned forward to let a kiss fall on that clobbered side of Yuu’s face. “I’ll take my responsibilities…!” he chuckled. “And besides… my eighteenth birthday is this May, sooo… I’m basically almost legal” Kouyou took the used cotton balls and the remaining patches on his hands, getting up from the bed.

Yuu opened his eyes and watched the younger’s slender back walk away, towards the kitchen to throw away the cotton balls stained pink by his blood. “If something happens, I’m gonna say you lured me in!” he said with a soft laugh, before falling backwards on the mattress.

A heavy sigh left his lungs and his mind was starting to revolt against itself again, too much thoughts starting to gang against his good mood. “With your cute face and those fucking thighs…” muttered the raven under his breath, feeling his eyelids starting to close on their own.

Kouyou came back to the bedroom a bunch of seconds later and found the man completely asleep, his chest rising and falling slowly.

The boy didn’t have the heart to wake him up so he moved silently towards the bed, sitting down on the mattress… and Kouyou just lost himself again in the handsome view of the man sleeping.

It was so strange seeing him so defenseless and calm, with his face finally devoid of that constant tension that always clenched his muscles and his body rolled over on his left side.

Kouyou sighed with a little smile before rising his long, delicate fingers to just sink them through the messy, inky locks scattered on the pillow.

All while his head was returning back to those pills in the bathroom: were there because of the chronic condition he told him about, probably, but what was tormenting the man?

Depression? Anxiety? He didn’t seemed anything of that, leaving out the terrible night he almost died in the snow and his cynical behavior… but maybe, some day Yuu would tell him what was weighting his heart.

Kouyou attentively laid down near the man, continuing to watch over him and cuddle his hair, his nape and back with long strokes of his palm for what seemed a couple of hours, until he felt a thick and warm arm wrap around around his hips.

A little chuff of air came from Yuu’s nose, like a soft and incredulous laugh, then a muffled question rose from a very sleepy Yuu. “You really are real…right?” his eyes still closed and his face hid in the soft curve of Kouyou’s neck.

“You’re not… some kind of dream or… ghost, eh? I don’t like ghosts” again Yuu spoke and Kouyou chuckled tenderly, hugging him a little more to his chest.

The boy then curled up his legs a little and brushed the top of Yuu’s head with his chin .“I’m very real and very pretty alive” the younger said with an amused tone, falling then again in a calm silence.

Yuu, on his part, breathed in the mellow, flowery perfume always circling the younger’s body, holding his breath until he felt that very scent travel in his bloodstream. “I…” he exhaled deeply, seconds later “I should be a fucking fortress, by now… but I can’t, not with you” the man’s muscles relaxed against the mattress as he spoke.

His tongue was slurred with sleepiness, but that didn’t stop him from speak again, a little fainter than before. “You take out everything, y’know it? You’re the only one I ever… trusted with this since…” Yuu’s voice grew weaker and his skin got frizzled by goosebumps for a moment.

In the deafening silence that fell, Kouyou tried to search for the man’s face, arching back a couple of inches. “Hey” he called him “I’m really glad I’m helping, even if it’s just a little bit” the honey-blond smiled, passing his fingers through the other’s dark, messy hair. “But you don’t have to be a fortress… if you feel sad, be sad… let it out and don’t hide from people that care about you”.

Kouyou then hugged him again against his own chest, sighing slightly in the waves of relaxations both of them were feeling.

And while Yuu was trying to find his lost words, the hazely irises of the younger fell on a lonely shadow, trapped in the corner of the bedroom: a simple acoustic guitar was resting there, its black lacquer still shiny even under a thick layer of dust.

So the mysterious man was also a guitarist? Or at least he was able to play it, too?

Kouyou’s attention got snitched away by that thought, his mind starting to paint and construct new reveries of serenades under the stars, where the raven’s fingers would hover above the metallic strings and dance on them at the rhythm of an original song…

But before he could even speak about the instrument, Kouyou snapped back to reality at the feeling of Yuu’s lips caressing and nibbling at the fragile skin of his neck. “Come back to Earth, lanky boy” the man muttered, his voice stained with a smirk. “You really need to work on your attention span, Kou. I’ll not be always there to stop you from ramming your fucking hand into a moving saw” he added with a chuckle.

Yuu then transformed his kisses in delicate bites, making the boy tremble a little. “ _Nnnc’mon_ … You’re all battered and… I wanted to ask you somethin– _mmh_ ” Kouyou got his words melted away for a brief moment, eyes closing as he started to heat up.

The younger’s breath quickened more with each of the man’s bite and Yuu laughed softly, holding onto Kouyou with both his arms now. “Hah! A couple of nibbles and you’re all squirmy on me, lanky boy?” the raven joked, before rising his head from the other’s throat.

Kouyou watched his wonderful face, all relaxed and calm despite the treatment the boy was enduring from the older. “What were you going to ask?” Yuu muttered under his breath, his lips curving up and his eyelids hovering on his dark eyes. “Do you play the guitar?” Kouyou breathed, trying to slow down his racing heart.

But soon the honey-blond regretted to take such a bit bet with himself, seeing the other’s smile shatter and fell into the sea of melancholy that flooded Yuu’s irises. “Oh” the man sighed “you… saw it, mh?” he spoke lastly before getting off the bed.

Kouyou scrambled on the mattress, sitting up with half of his weight on his hands: the man was walking away towards the instrument with such a lonesome aura around him that the boy started to feel anxious.

Did he… dug up something heavy? Was he going to have another attack? Kouyou needed to go away? “I-it’s ok, I was just curious…! You… don’t have to show it to me if you don’t want…-!” Kouyou’s panicky voice faded away as soon as Yuu chuckled lightly, turning towards him. “Calm down, it’s fine” the raven replied “Is just… it’s a while since I even touched this beauty” Yuu continued to speak as he grasped the guitar’s long neck in his palm.

Walking back to the bed, the man sat down and caressed the large, long curves of the instrument with a tender expression in his tired eyes.

Darker stripes formed at the passage of his fingers, showing how much black and shiny the guitar really was beneath the layers of dust. “When I was your age I dreamed about being a great guitarist in a famous band… But life took another path and this remained only a hobby of mine” Yuu told slowly and calmly, inviting Kou to sit at his side.

The boy watched how his Aoi moved his fingers more, caressing the metal wires, pinching them to make a slightly off-tune sound. “Ouch, I neglected her too much, uh? Now she’s angry at me” Yuu chuckled, rising his hand to start fidgeting with the tuners.

Steadily and with care, Kouyou watched the raven fix each and every string until, with a wave of fingertips, the guitar let out a quick and melodious music.

It was a sight worthy of being seen, the honey-blond thought, see the other’s rough and big hands move with such gentleness and precision, together with the slight bob of his head to a ghostly rhythm only Yuu could predict while playing that improvisation. “You’re really good” Kouyou muttered completely bewitched.

Yuu looked up at him with a shy smile, his brows knitted together. “Really?” he asked, before rising his left hand to mess up Kouyou’s hair a little “What do a green sprout like you knows about playing guitar?” the man joked and Kou pretended to pout, crossing his arms on the chest. “I play it too, you old geezer! Just… I don’t have one at home” the younger’s hazel eyes fell down, watching as Yuu’s foot was lightly tapping on the floor.

Then a warm touch caressed his cheek and Yuu’s voice spoke too close to his ear. “You know, you’re really a mass weapon when you pout like that” the man breathed those words calmly, before giving a light nudge to Kouyou’s shoulder with his own. “Here” he then said, sliding the instrument into the younger’s hands.

Kouyou stood there embarrassed and surprised to see that wonderful guitar in his palms, the wood warmed up by the very body of Yuu. “Let me hear ya” the raven pressed the other with a smile, resting both his hands on his thighs. “I’m not really… this good, I-” “Let _me_ decide if you suck at it or not, would ya kid? C’mon Kou…” Yuu watched the other with his dark, intense eyes and the younger saw something pass inside them, like a distant ghost that fogged up their light.

The honey-blond watched Yuu’s face tense up a little, then moved his eyes down to the shiny-black guitar and, as if it called to him, the teenager started to flick his fingers: the melody was different from the one Yuu made, more up-beat and harsher compared to the almost country-style, melancholy tone of Yuu’s song.

Surprisingly, though, Yuu smiled and started to move his head again, feeling the rhythm of that music inside his blood, as if it was resonating inside him.

Two songs completely different, but strangely in tune with eachother. “That’s really nice…” the raven muttered, watching the younger’s fingers detach from their position on the guitar’s body to shift up towards the neck, using the wires like the keys of a piano. “You’re even better than me… no-one likes liars Kou” Yuu chuckled then, approaching the other a little more, so their legs were touching.

Kouyou blushed violently, hearing those words. “I… I’m not a liar, I… well I use Taka’s one from time to time and-” “Imagine what you could do if you had one completely yours” Yuu stopped his words with a little smirk, inching more and more, pressing then a kiss on Kouyou’s soft, slightly-open lips. “One… that’s black and simple… like this one?” added.

The boy watched the man, blinking in complete befuddlement: was he implying…? “Wha-I-I… I can’t accept it!” Kouyou immediately handed the guitar back, almost scared and Yuu snorted, shaking his head. “I rarely play her and, as you saw before… she gets angry easily. Take care of her for me, you have more free time than me and…” his voice faltered, as he moved his palm to press the guitar on Kouyou’s lap. “It was gifted to me before, so it’s normal I wanna gift her again to someone I… I really care about, Kou”.

Those words hit a soft, deep spot inside Kouyou and the younger stood there in silence for long, long seconds.

That guitar was something the man really cherished, Kou noticed it just by looking at the caring eyes of the man and gentleness of his fingers on its wooden body… and he was giving it away to _him_.

Slowly, Kouyou put the guitar aside only to turn and snake both arms around Yuu’s neck, hugging him and stamping a deep kiss on his cheek. “I’ll take good care of it…” the younger smiled in his speech “I’ll take good care of both of you”.

Yuu chuckled now completely flustered, his eyes shifting away from Kou’s frame to try and hide his now rosy face. “Umpf, you smooth-talker. Fuck me, I taught you too well” the man muttered with a smile on his lips, before he could hug more the boy to his chest.

“But thanks, Kou…”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Highs and lows of a relationship... it happens

Several months passed from Yuu’s birthday and spring started to bloom all around the town.

In its bushes and in its trees, a wave of flowers submerged every little leaf, dousing everything in their scents.

Despite the wonderful fresh air and the bright sun, Yuu’s mood was swinging madly: every day was worse than the prior, feeling stuck between the frustration that came with his new job as a teacher and the anger of seeing the townsfolk ogle him with even more distrust.

Gulping down his vital pills like a religion, the raven pressed on with his life, focusing on the only good thing that put a smile on his face.

Casually, it was a slender, sweet, almost-legal young man with hazel doe-eyes and hair as light as wheat.

To him, Kouyou was the ray of sun that managed to drill a hole in the thick, dark fog that suffocated his very core… like a savior, if someone could say so.

But Yuu didn’t know Kouyou saw him in the same light, but instead of a savior the younger saw a home to return to, in the man.

They never spoke about their feelings in the days they spent together, hid away from everyone, but it was crystal clear to both of them that they felt a lot for each other.

So much that Yuu insisted to wait until Kouyou was fully adult to even think about advancing the level of their intimacy, despite the teen pressured him more and more to take their make-outs onto a ‘horizontal plane’. “You don’t know how much my balls are insulting me right now, Kou… but no.” the raven said one afternoon.

They were lying on the tender, green grass of a meadow inside the pine forest, looking up to the clouds passing above their heads. “Please understand my situation here… your mom would _love_ to have my head if I’d ever touch you more than I’m already doing.” a light chuckle came from the man and the honey-blond pouted so hard his lips almost touched his nose.

“I’m just few weeks away from my birthday, it’s not this big deal…!” Kouyou muttered, turning his head away from Yuu with his arms crossed on his chest.

But the teen felt the raven’s big hand poke his puffed-up cheek with a finger, seconds after. “Oi! I’ll be the one going to jail if I bang you now, ok? You fucking bold kid.” Yuu chuckled, before he could focus on the elegant, gentle line of Kouyou’s stretched neck.

Yuu moved his hand and from the other’s cheek, he let it slide down his soft skin, with only the fingertips touch it as lightly as possible.

Down until he brushed Kouyou’s chest with his palm. “And well… let’s say I’m saving myself up for your birthday gift.” Yuu said with a smile on his lips, seeing Kouyou’s face trying so hard to stay offended… failing miserably.

Turning to look into the other’s black, shiny eyes, Kou damned himself for not being able to put up a longer façade with the man.

To the irresistible, alluring, dark beauty that was Yuu. “Ok, ok… just don’t cut on the kisse-” “Who the fuck said I’m gonna stop kissing your fucking wonderful lips?” the raven interrupted him with a grin.

Quickly, with a dart of his muscles, Yuu rolled on top of Kouyou, caging him between his arms and legs. “I could never stop kissing you, even if someone fucking killed me.” the man uttered, with his breath swaying his inky locks.

As if he wanted to underline what he just said, Yuu tilted his headd down and pressed his mouth on the younger’s, closing his eyes as he felt the usual fire starting to burn in the depths of his chest, alongside Kou’s arms snaking around his neck.

The older’s tongue was lapping at the other’s lips slowly, entering them just so slightly before nibbling at them sensually. “Mmmh… this… is… teasing… you know?” Kouyou breathed heavily in between the soft smacking of lips, before he chuckled and pushed on Yuu’s shoulders when the man tried to take a bite of his lower lip. “Your very being is fucking teasing, for me.” the raven snickered back.

And like that they met and passed time, discovering more and more of each other at every little ‘date’ they had, evolving their relationship in something more than physical hunger: Kouyou explained almost step-by-step how to take care of a horse and Yuu profusely spoke about Scotland and when he was ‘a young lad’.

But Kouyou noticed something: the raven never spoke of his adult life, not once.

He always spoke of his early years in Europe, never going further into the years. “Hey.” Kouyou called Yuu one Sunday morning, while watching the other focused on some woodwork in his garage. “Where did you live before moving here?” the younger asked and Yuu’s face suddenly froze in the smile he was having.

Just to melt, seconds later, into a tensed and saddened expression. “Oh, I was living in Palm Harbor… in Florida.” Yuu told the younger, crossing his arms and leaning with his hips against his workbench. “I miss… the sea, it was awesome. Good waves to surf on and a really nice beach.” ““Ohh you’re a surfer??” Kouyou asked in awe.

Yuu chuckled at his reaction. “Yeah, surf and windsurf! I usually went with a couple of friends and…” the older’s face fell again. “I left them behind, unluckily, but I… had to leave.” the man’s voice lowered in pitch and volume as his mood started to plummet.

Kouyou opened his lips, forming a little ‘O’ while he was envisioning the place in his mind. “Why you had to move? I can see you miss your life there…” the teen added “I mean, leaving all behind to live _here_ , moreover! A hole in a mountain, basically.”.

Silence fell and Yuu’s eyes crawled away from Kouyou’s face, trying to find something to focus on that wasn’t the younger’s hazel irises. “Don’t ask. I had my reasons.” he rumbled, squeezing his eyelids for a moment before clearing his throat.

He was already feeling the horrid tightening inside his chest, like a hand pressing on his lungs. “Also… here’s not half bad, there’s a lot of wood to work on, that’s a given.” the raven tried to lighten up with a strained chuckle, but Kouyou felt a rift starting to form inside the man.

The teen itched to know and even if the most logical part of his brain _screamed_ to not press… Kouyou gave in to the curiosity. “Well it’s strange that someone just leave like that… I mean, if something happened-” “I FUCKING SAID-!” Yuu’s voice spoke harshly now, his hands trembling into fists.

His entire body felt like it was turning to stone, his fight-or-flight instinct ringing furiously, but part of himself reminded him that Kouyou was just a boy… that was normal for him to ask. “I… said I had my reasons, Kou. Something happened, but I don’t wanna talk about it.” he added more controlled, but his face was still darkened.

Kouyou never saw the man so much angered, not even the first time they met and that… made him suffer.

He wanted to ease that furious pain, in some way or another, soothe the man’s heart as much as he could. “Sorry, I… I just want to help you and maybe talking could do the trick…?” the younger spoke apologetically, almost caving inside himself.

Yuu rose a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, a heavy expression twist his face. “Every fucking headshrink of his fucking nation couldn’t help even after re-living that fucking story one million fucking times. They just drugged me to _ease_ the pain.” the raven growled, trying to take a hold of himself. “You don’t have the power to even _understand_ the mess I have here.” the man pointed at his temple, watching the younger with a dark fire in his irises.

As dark as a moonless night.

Kouyou stood motionless, scared and taken aback by the sudden change of mood that the man was showing: he was angry at him…or at everybody else? “But I-” “No one has that abilty, Kou… don’t try to help me, you’d just sink into this shitty madness together with me.” Yuu’s body twitched, his arms’ muscles swaying under the skin.

Yuu felt his mouth suddenly dry, as if his tongue was made of cardboard. “And I… I don’t want that to happen, not to you.” he added, before silence could weight the very air in the garage.

Not a single particle of dust seemed to move between them, as if Time itself stopped.

Yuu turned his back to Kouyou’s figure, clawing at his workbench so hard his knuckles whitened. “Go home now, I need to… I need some time alone.” Yuu muttered while passing his whole hand on his face, trying to wash away his heavy thoughts.

 

> _“I couldn’t stop! I-I’m sorry Yuu I…!”_

_“It was my fault.”  
“I blinded myself to her grief.”_

 

> _Her fingers dug holes in his clothes while she fought for her life, blood staining everything and the 911 operator asking him to stay calm._

_“I deserve all of this.”  
“I should’ve fucking hang myself…!”_

 

> _**Don’t die, please don’t leave me!** he thought while holding onto her, his palm pressing so much on her deep wounds he felt her very flesh convulse._

_“I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate-!”_

 

> _Stop the blood, stop the blood, stop it or she’ll die! Press, press, press!_

“Hey… Yuu?” _  
_

Suddenly a light touch searched for his shoulder and, out of pure instinct, Yuu turned and his palm shot up to grasp at Kouyou’s slim wrist, with so much force the boy winced out of pain.

“I… I’m sorry, don’t be mad.”

“O-ouch…!”

“C-calm down, you’re pressing too much.”

Yuu’s brain took some seconds to register what was going on: he was trembling from head to toe and his fingers were leaving red marks on Kouyou’s soft skin, the teen squirming and trying to get away from that hold with watery eyes.

Like he was bitten by a snake, Yuu quickly released Kouyou with a new kind of fear wrinkling his face. “I… Kouyou I…!” the man watched the boy opening and closing his now reddish hand, massaging the wrist.

A couple of bruises, as big as his fingers, started to show up even if they were just faint shadows on his skin.

There, the realization hit Yuu hard as a truck: he hurt him…

He hurt the only one that held him afloat in the raging sea that was the insanity of his mind.

He stopped before it could degenerate, but what could happen next time? Would he lose his temper again and, maybe, hit him even harder?

“Go away…!” Yuu breathed, his chest starting to puff up and down quicker, quicker as he walked away from Kouyou.

Panic was creating heavy, black bubbles inside his head, compressing every inch of his brain into a pulp. “I-It’s ok, really! I… startled you, my bad.” Kouyou tried to calm him down with a smile, even his his eyes were still shiny of held-back tears.

But nothing managed to pierce through the thick veil of hysteria that was numbing each and every though of Yuu: not the hushed voice of Kouyou nor his slow steps towards him.

If not, Kouyou approaching him made Yuu feel dread crawl up his every nerve. “GET AWAY FROM ME!” the man yelled, a strangled roar in the back of his throat.

He felt like a trapped animal with his back pressed against the garage door, forced to fight someone he loved by his own body, his own mind. “PLEASE! Please…! Go away…!” the raven hiccuped in complete distress, swinging between anger and fear.

Yuu slowly slid his back against the metal until he was sitting on the floor, his hands gripping hard on tufts of his hair. “ **Ah dornt wanna hurt ye… Please.** ” he whimpered.

On the other side, Kouyou watched a grown man shatter and revolt within himself like a scared kid. “You didn’t hurt me… Yuu.” the boy tried to approach the other, but seeing him curl up in a ball made him sigh deeply, not knowing what to do.

It was completely different from finding him almost frozen to death in the snow: Kouyou knew how to deal with physical wounds, but now… he didn’t know how to manage a psychological breakdown.

The teen slowly walked towards him, kneeling on the ground in front of him while trying to remember what he would do with one of his little sisters. “Hey… listen to me.” the honey-blond called him in a soft and comforting tone.

But even if Yuu _wanted_ to listen, in his ears were ringing the sirens of the ambulance, her screams when the policeman at their door told them they found his little corpse, the cries and the blood dripping. “Yuu…!” Kouyou called, grabbing the man’s face in his hands.

The raven’s eyes were wide open, drowned in terror and his breath was crashing out of his lips in difficult wheezes. “I’m fine, you didn’t do anything wrong… You didn’t hurt me.” Kouyou spoke slowly but with confidence, trying to hide the pounding worry he was feeling. “Now… I’ll leave if it will help you calm down, ok? Later today I have to go somewhere with my sisters, but tomorrow morning we’ll see each other again and everything will be fine, as always.” Kouyou’s thumbs moved gently, caressing Yuu’s cheekbones over and over again in slow cuddles.

The boy wanted to erase those panicked creases around his eyes, to brush away the horrible thoughts he could read inside the other’s contracted pupils.

The silence that fell now seemed unreal, burdened by the still heavy breath of the older man. “Got it? I’m super-fine.” Kouyou pressed on and Yuu nodded, both his hands moving to claw at the younger’s clothes.

Searching for his body, the raven hung his head forward and took in few deep inhales. “I’m sorry Kou… I-I’m fucked up… I didn’t want to… I would never…” “I know!” the honey-blond stopped his words with a small chuckle, squeezing faintly his face in between his palms. “I know… relax. I can take some beating! In fact I might even like it, be sure to remember it for my birthday gift.” the teenager smiled widely, hearing the other laugh weakly.

Yuu felt the stiffening of his chest starting to withdraw and gulping down a bunch of saliva pooled in his mouth he tried to look up into Kou’s hazel, warm eyes. “Go, now… I’ll be… I’ll be better tomorrow…” the man uttered taking the teen’s offended wrist into his palms, leaving a little kiss on his hot skin. “Again, I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…”.

And like that Kouyou left the garage, not without the promise from Yuu’s side to take care of himself while the boy was away from him.

Once outside, the teen pushed his back against the door, breathing hard and slow a couple of times.

He felt completely drained, he never imagined someone’s mental strain could be so heavy to bear and when the teen reached the front of his house, he turned to watch the garage one last time. “Ah, Kouyou! I was going to call you, where were you? The girls will leave in a hour, is your backpack ready?” his mom asked as her son came in.

The boy smiled apologetically, hooking his hand at the back of his head, blushing a little. “Sorry mom, Mr. Shiroyama was helping me out with some woodworking project and we got carried away with designs and such…!” he chuckled and Mrs. Takashima laughed with her son. “Oh yeah you got carried away with designs!” she said with a malicious look in her brown eyes. “I know my chicken and I was teenager too! And Mr. Shiroyama is very handsome.” the woman jokingly poked her son’s chest.

Kouyou turned completely white when his mother spoke like that, starting to fiddle with his fingers alongside the bottom hem of his long shirt. “I-I…uhm…” “Having a crush on the teacher happens to everybody at least once, dear! I’m only messing with you.” Mrs. Takashima patted her son’s shoulder, winking at him.

But while Kouyou chuckled back, his mind thanked every existing deity that his mom thought of it as just a normal and cute crush.

If only she knew…! “C’mon, go get your lunch boxes! Mr. Kamijo doesn’t like late comers.” the woman spoke again and the teen nodded with a brighter smile on his face.

He ran into the kitchen, then, innocently hoping that the field trip would not take him away for too long.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to get darker, so I'll warn you all from now on: there will be a lot of free pain -on kids also- so bear with me a little more, k? Thank you and sorry çwç

Yuji looked again at the screen of his phone, tapping his foot on the floor of the school bus.

He would've hate to leave without the most valuable of his wares, but he had a schedule to stick to and if he finished up being late at the _randevous_ , well… his collaborator would be pretty pissed. "Ah there he is...! Mr. Kamijo!" a female voice could be heard in the distance.

Immediately, the annoyed face of the professor distended into a happy-go-lucky expression as he twirled on his heels. “Good morning _Madame_ Takashima!” he waved charmingly with a big, flashy smile.

Kamijo’s bright eyes watched as a couple of young girls ran up to the school bus together with their cute older brother, while the mother was waving at them from the car. "Sorry for the delay, mr. Kamijo! Be good, you three!" the woman shouted again while Yuji grinned. "Don't worry _Madame_ , I'll take good care of them!" the man spoke with his lovely and warm tone.

As soon as the trio approached the teacher, their mother drove away down the street and Kamijo turned to Kouyou to pat his back. “I’m glad you all managed to come! I would be so sad without my assistant, today.” the man said and the honey-blond chuckled nervously. “I-I’ll try my best, mr. Kamijo.” answered under his breath, shy.

Kamijo laughed and nodded, extending his arm to point the inside of the bus. “It’ll be fine, Kou! Don’t worry about it. Now, hop on!” the teacher giggled as he almost pushed the teen on the school bus, glancing at his slender figure for more than a bunch of seconds.

Once the whole class was there, the bus driver closed the vehicle's door, turning on the engine as Kamijo stood in the little corridor of yellow seats.

Kids around were screaming and laughing in delight, happy to finally leave the school ground for the first time. "So, boys and girls! Are you ready for the big adventure?" Yuji chuckled while gripping the nearest plastic seat.

Everyone cheered, with Kouyou that giggled at the pumped-up reactions of his sisters. “Well well, I’m happy to hear that!” the man cackled, clapping his hands to get the kids quieter. “Now, it will take a while to get to our _destinatiòn_ sooooo I’m warning all of you to be good! Troublemakers will get punished once we’ll be there, ok?” Kamijo added and a little chorus of _yes mr. Kamijo_ echoed in the bus.

The teacher’s smile shone even brighter. “Good, _mes petits anges_! I’m counting on all of you-” “I-I’m sorry, mr. Kamijo? May I ask something?” Kouyou interrupted him and Yuji felt a little string snap in the back of his brain.

He hated to be interrupted and being so near their goal made him even jumpier than the usual. “Yes,Takashima?” he forced himself to ask nicely, turning to watch the teenager in his blushed face.

_“Oh how I wish to be there already…!”_

The honey-blond cleared his throat, seeing a strange light inside the teacher’s eyes, but maybe it was just a reflection of what he passed that morning, with Yuu. “Where we’re headed?” Kouyou muttered, with Kamijo sitting on the seat next to him. “Oh, didn’t I tell you before?” the man blinked a couple of times in disbelief.

Kouyou just shook his head, both his hands instinctively curling up on his lap, crunching up a little in the seat as Kamijo draped an arm around him. “I’m such a forgetful man sometimes! I’m really sorry.” he spoke with sugary voice. “We’re going to visit Wellspring coal mines: they’re very, very old and not in use since the late nineties, but they’re fascinating.” the teacher then watched through the windshield of the bus, looking the dark stripe in the ground that was the road.

His lips curved up even more, eyes cutting the very air. “There are very few coal veins left, but it will be really educational about the formation of minerals and such…” with that small speech, the teacher fell into silence, his eyes watching the horizon and completely ignoring the growing chaos in the back of the bus, where a bunch of kids were playing with a plushie.

Suddenly, as if he remembered something, Kamijo tilted his head a little and looked at Kouyou again. “You know that diamonds are just chunks of coal pressed really hard?” he asked smoothly.

The honey-blond gulped, chuckling completely taken aback. “I-I…didn’t know, I–” “Ahahah this is not a test, Takashima! I’m not grading you.” Yuji snickered, relaxing against the back of the seat. “It’s just… really poetic, isn’t it? Something really dirty and common like coal could become one of the most beautiful gem of Earth.” Kamijo crossed his arms on his chest, sighing dramatically. “Almost romantic… what a little bit of _pressure_ can make.”

From that moment, Yuji stopped talking, like did the rest of the bus: some kids were sleeping deeply with their heads against the windows and others were coloring some pre-made papers the teacher gave them.

It should’ve been a calm and sweet field trip, but Kouyou couldn’t stop feeling _something_.

It was creeping up against his back and for some reason, the teen felt like a cold hand caress his entire body, down his spine until it gripped at the deepest of his guts.

Maybe it was the low-key tension in the air, maybe it was the man’s honey-smothered smile… but Kouyou felt uneasy sitting near his French teacher.

And as mr. Kamijo leaned a bit more towards him during a curve, flattening his thigh against Kouyou’s, the boy almost wished he stayed at home. “Ahhh, there we are! You see? That’s the place.” Kamijo spoke while pointing at a desolate zone of the mountain, fenced all around with metal grids.

Kouyou rose an eyebrow seeing everything closed and chained up. “It shouldn’t be… open?” he asked and Yuji only chuckled, shaking his head. “Mon chér, don’t worry about a thing…!” the man said before turning to watch at the entire classromm. “Awwww look at their sleepy faces~” Kamijo almost squealed under his breath, cradling his own cheek in a palm.

Slowly standing up, the man put a finger on his lips before motioning all the kids still awake to come to him. “Let your friends sleep, shall we? I’ll stay here until they’ll wake up and meanwhile we’ll wait Mr. Guide number two.” Kamijo uttered with an accomplice expression, making few children giggle softly.

Then the teacher turned his head to look up at Kouyou and smiled at him: the smile of a shark, with his bright and sharp teeth. “Kouyou, dear, do you mind take the rest of the class inside? One of the guides it’s already there.” he spoke with a delicate and pleading tone, but Kouyou furrowed his brows while the bus stopped on the little declivity in front of the mine’s entrance. “Uhm… Mr. Kamijo, I don’t know if I’ll be able to… manage…-” “Shush, Takashima, you’ll do fine! Let’s not make Mr. Guide wait too long.” Yuji turned while the kids behaved more or less good, forming a line between the seats.

The full group got off the bus and there, Kamijo started to count their heads silently, mouthing the numbers with more and more of a smile on his lips. “Ok, you sixteen cuties will start the trip, with big boy Kouyou here!” chuckled the man, walking between them with both his hands rose a the height of his hips.

The children laughed together with him and one of Kouyou’s little sisters, Satsuki, gave her twin a small glance making her giggle.

Their brother just shook his head with a smile on his face, knowing that _that_ was a naughty expression. “There will be an old miner grandpa that will show you around and tell you a little about shiny stones.” Kamijo clapped his hands again, back straight. “I’ll get back with the rest of your class in half an hour, since our second miner grandpa phoned me saying he was late.” he added, brushing lightly his hands on the children’s heads as he spoke their names. “Ahhh no one knows anymore what means to be on time! Kouyou darlin’, you can go on now. Just push the gate, the guide there assured me he left it open for us.”

The teen blushed a little, visibly in distress to have to lead that bunch of kids, but he nodded anyway and looked around, seeing all the children looking at him. “O-Okay then, uhm… let’s go.” he muttered with a shy smile, automatically reaching a hand towards his sister Mitsuki.

The little girl trotted happily to him, grasping his long fingers before turning to wave at the man now standing near the still open bus door. “Behave well with Kouyou, kids! Or I’ll be really mad with all of you!” Kamijo chuckled, before turning his back to the group.

His face was cut by a small grin. “It’s ok for that boy to take care of the–” “Aww mr. driver, I love your concearn… but I trust Takashima, he has his head on his shoulders.” Yuji interrupted the man, approaching him with a sway of hips. “And besides, mon chér… this gives us some time to know each other better…” Kamijo bowed his back slowly forward, almost making eye-contact with the driver.

The man, slightly older than Kamijo, just gulped out of nervousness, watching the teacher rising a hand to start caressing his shoulder: his touch was warm and soft, his long fingers creeping towards the back of his neck. “I-I’m… sorry? I… I’m a married man… my wife-” “Oh I can show you I’m way more better than any woman…” Kamijo chuckled, slowly sinking his fanned fingers through the curly hair on the other’s nape.

The driver felt a little pang of shivers shoot through his body as Kamijo lightly scraped the skin of his head. “A woman can do this?” he asked in a breathed voice. “Do… w-what?” the man muttered when only silence and stillness followed the question.

Then, quick as a lightning, the hold on his hair became an iron grip and with brutal and unnatural force Yuji pushed the man’s face against the steering wheel.

Again.

Again.

The man didn’t have the time to even scream or yell: blood splattered on the windshield in long streaks and the creepy sound of broken bones filled the silent bus.

And with the same sugary smile from before, Kamijo left the now beaten-to-death man draped on the wheel: his face was almost caved in by the sheer violence of the bashing and his limbs fell limp at his sides. “This, mon chér…” Yuji chuckled lovingly, untangling the hand from the mass of now bloody hair.

The teacher, then, slowly walked down between the still sleeping children and, moving his now bloodied hand, caressed the face of one of them, streaking his pale skin of his cheek. “Mommy never told you to never accept candies from strangers?” Kamijo almost mocked him with a cheery tone. “Oh well, at least the dose was right this time.” he added.

Kamijo took out his phone and dialed a number, putting the cellphone near his face painted with red stains. “Hey darlin’! I’m at the site… Sixteen-plus-one… The plus-one is mine, of course.” the man then giggled, twirling on his heels and sitting down on one of the yellow seats. “I got the red herring here… mh-mh, five and the driver… Ohoh I can’t wait to see you here mon amour.” Kamijo smiled now more sweetly, sending a kiss through the call before ending it. “It will be a good harvest~.” he hummed.

Going back to the front of the bus, Kamijo cleaned his bloodied hand on the driver’s back, then bowed as if he was dancing: he released the handbrake of the vehicle, stepping off of it to turn and look at its long form slowly roll downhill. “Ahh there it goes!” the man giggled waving at the school bus, watching it gain speed down the dirt road.

In the fraction of a second, the bus reached the edge of the road and rammed full-speed into the guardrail: its big, metallic body flew forward for a bunch of feet. “Yes my little angels! Fly, fly!” Kamijo cheered before the school bus could plunge down, towards the sea of trees.

Kamijo could distinct the sounds of mangled little bodies among the screeching noise of metal crumpling against the rocks, but the though that made him squirm was the fact that he finally will have young Kouyou all for himself. “I’ll train him so good.” Yuji said between his smiling teeth as he moved towards the entrance of the mines.

He closed the gate with a couple of twists of a chain, secured a heavy padlock on it and then disappeared inside the caves… as if anything happened.


	17. Chapter 17

It all happened in the fraction of a second.

Kouyou was leading the group of children inside the first feet of the mine, looking around confused as he didn’t see the guide his teacher talked about.

Then one of the kids on the back screamed, then other two and finally, as Kouyou snapped his head to watch over his shoulder, his eyes saw figures emerge from the darkness of other tunnels.

Their big hands were trying to grasp at the kids running away, scattering alongside the main shaft, and while some laughed, others just grunted while pushing down some of the children to constrain their wrists and ankles with heavy ropes.

Kouyou quickly squatted to take one in his arms the nearest of his sisters, pulling the other behind his back in the mere try to protect them. “Hey, who’s the kid?” someone muttered while another man walked up to the teen.

He was in his thirties, broad shoulders and with a nasty, raspy voice coming out of the shade that enveloped his face. “Yuji probably wanted a souvenir from this harvest… nice choice, ahah!” “That shitface has good tastes.” “Mmmmh I like my girls tall!” voices spoke over each other, peppered with harsh laughs of carnal appreciations.

Kouyou just drew back slowly, one step at the time, his sisters moaning little weeps as they held onto him.

Scared, confused by the air now weighted by their classmates’ cries. “C’mon blondie, don’t force our hands… come here” the first stranger spoke again.

Kouyou’s breath hitched, his lungs inflating violently and sucking in the damp air of the caves: his instincts yelled at him to run away, to save himself and his sisters, but there were so many children there that were crying, fighting against hands as big as their whole head.

Screaming for help, terrorized so much Kouyou could imagine their minds shatter. “What… who… who are you!” he tried to mumble with a lump in his throat, but the teen’s trembling eyes shifted from the strange enemies to the entrance of the mine.

The rangy shadow contoured by the daylight was walking towards them with elegance, sharp pupils pointed directly into Kouyou’s face. “Mr. Kamijo…! H-Help us!!” the teen tried to shriek, his skin crawling with pure dread.

The realization, though, came to the younger when he could see splatters of blood on the nice clothes that wrapped Kamijo’s body. “Help? Oh dearest… No one will help.” the man spoke with his sugary voice, walking up to the man: with a light tap on his shoulder, Kamijo made him walk away. “Take the ugly ones for the harvest, the others will be livestocks.” Yuji spoke, standing casually.

As if he was talking about weather with a colleague. “Livest-!” “Shush, Kouyou… Don’t worry about a thing.” Kamijo silenced him with a hand pressed on his cheeks, looking at his face intently.

Like an art critic studying a well-painted canvas. “So you know, mon cher.” the man smirked, leaning a little more on the teen. “I’m a diamond-maker… Remember? It only takes a little bit of pressure.” he breathed on Kouyou’s face, before releasing him and grasping at the girl Kouyou was holding.

With a snappy motion, Kamijo snatched Satsuki away from the brother, despite her screams. “NO! No please!” Kouyou yelled back, jumping forward with his hand stretched out while still holding Mitsuki behind his back.

Before he could even make a step, Kamijo’s free hand rose and pushed its palm against the boy’s throat, choking him into submission. “Please? Oh I love hear that word dear, only into a different context.” Kamijo chuckled softly, his eyes fluttering for a second. “I usually scrap the copies… I want all my diamonds to be unique and little Mitsu there will be enough.” Yuji snickered, watching Kouyou struggling to free himself.

Only one though twirled inside the teen’s mind: he had to defend them, he had to fight and take them out of that place… he couldn’t stand the cries of Satsuki no more, seeing her thrash around and clawing at Kamijo’s hand, her face completely wet from tears and snot. “And for you… well, my dear, we’ll have a lot of quality-time to spend together.” Kamijo pushed him back to make him fall on his backside, chuckling while turning his head to call out one of his subordinates.

That moment, seeing the teacher treat his little sister like a mere rag doll, Kouyou felt something sizzle in the deep ends of his chest.

It was anger, sure, but it was similar to something he only saw in Yuu’s eyes, once: a seething, blinding rage that made his usually calm soul broil uncontrollably.

Kouyou scrambled to get up on his knees and his hand instinctively grabbed the first thing he could reach: as he stood up, Kouyou moved the big, dusty rock in an arc and swatted Kamijo’s nape with it as hard as he could, pushing against his back to make him fall.

As quickly as he could, the teen managed to free his sister from the still confused man on the ground, hugging her before turning to Mitsuki. “Go, go! Run!” he hurried her, taking her small hand in his one before running down the tunnel, away from the light of the entrance.

Laughs and yells came from behind his back, while Kamijo groaned, blowing his disappointed breath on the dirt of the mines. “I hate fighty ones…!” he mumbled before getting up. “You think you can get away from me??” he barked offended, his always perfect hair now messy around his angered face.

Moving towards one of his men, Yuji ungraciously stole the gun the guy had and, with arm stretched out, the teacher quickly aimed at the teen.

His eyes were glinting with ferocity, shining through the wavy locks of his hair, and his face without smile twitched as he pressed the trigger: the bullet exploded out of the barrel with a light flame, then traveled through the air.

Cutting it, creating invisible ripples that seemed to distort reality itself.

Then, as fast as it was fired, the tiny projectile passed through a small body, ripping blood vessels, muscles and bones, leaving a big hole in one lung before exiting a still immature chest.

The bullet, still hungry for blood, crawled forward and there nested itself inside Kouyou’s tibia, beyond the thick muscles of his calf.

A scream came from the teen’s throat as he crashed forward, the pulsating pain irradiating from his leg up to his very core, making him coil on himself and reach for his wound. “No one escape, Kouyou.” Kamijo breathed, trying to regain his usual composure.

The tall man then walked towards them, swatting his hair back with a snappy motion, his face still sporting an irritated look. “I’m no rookie in this job… be thankful I fucking love your pretty face enough to let you live.” Yuji growled, his hand now lowering down.

But even if Kouyou’s brain was still wrapped in the agony of his wound, he forgot everything he was feeling, as Kamijo rose Mitsuki’s now twitching body off the ground. “Oh well, either one should do the job.” Yuji spoke as he watched the little girl gurgling her last breaths, her chest almost opened up by the previous gunshot.

“M-Mitsu…!”

Kouyou’s eyes opened in pure horror, his mind struggling with that vision and while Satsuki just screamed, holding onto her brother completely horrified by the vision of her dying twin, the teen could just lay there.

He felt powerless, a weakling that couldn’t do anything to save them, to even save himself…

He was in a hard state of shock, his fight-or-flight instinct completely shut down. “Awww don’t look at me like that, mon cher.” Kamijo slowly chuckled, tossing the now dead girl behind himself, to let one of his subordinate take her corpse away. “You both will have a better treatment, don’t worry… My precious future diamonds.”.

Kamijo made few steps forward, approaching Kouyou on the ground, watching his eyes watering in both grief and fear. “Oh mon cher, don’t cry…” the man spoke softly, rising a hand to caress the boy’s face, passing his palm on the other’s cheek before going to grasp his face again.

Kouyou weakly tried to shift away, but the pressure on his jaw line became almost unbearable. “I’ll take good care of you… I personally wanted you here, you know? Be flattered.” Yuji smiled.

It was a venomous smile that made Kouyou feel nauseous, but the more he tried to fight the nausea, the more he focused on the now crawling sensation up his wounded leg, as if he could feel the blood leave his body. “Take them into shaft eight! I can’t wait to ship all of them.” Kamijo talked to one of the other men as he stood up on his legs.

Someone came and grabbed Kouyou’s sane leg starting to drag him on the floor, in the direction of a deeper tunnel, but he tried to fight them again as one of the strangers tried to separate him from Satsuki, thrashing around like a scared animal.

He lastly lost his grip on his sister’s hand, when the man dragging him gave Kouyou a sharp kick in his sides. “N-NO! LEAVE HER ALONE! NO! PLEASE!” Kouyou cried and shouted, his usually deep and soft voice now strangled in the back of his throat.

His face got striped with tears when he got trapped inside a closed-off tunnel, a dead end with newly-installed bars transforming it into an elongated prison cell.

“NO! GIVE HER BACK! SATSU!”

He tried to shake the bars, ram his entire body against them, yell and extend his arms outside that cage to try and claw at Satsuki’s little dress.

“GIVE HER TO ME YOU ASSHOLES!! GIVE ME BACK MY SISTER!!”

It was all useless as he felt his leg ask for mercy from him, to stay put, to not move. “You’ll not stay here for long, mon cher, don’t worry.” Kamijo said while taking out his phone, walking towards the exit.

The man chuckled softly, finally his grin revived on his face and Kouyou, in the shade of that enclosed shaft, moaned with both physical and emotional hurt, in his eyes the flashes of Mitsuki’s body drained of her life.

Kouyou curled up against the bars and there he left his cries melt together with the ones of the still alive children around him, in other makeshift cages, separated in small groups.

 

[] [] [] []

 

Hours passed, but Kouyou never left that cage.

The slight light coming from the far-away exist slowly faded away into the darkness of the night.

Some kids got taken away and never returned, leaving behind only a dozen of them.

Satsuki was in a cage on the other side of the long tunnel and Kouyou only wished to be with her, cry away the agony for their lost sister.

The only thing he could do, though, was shivering on the ground, his trembling hands gripping around his own chest while his left leg slowly continued to bleed.

His blood changing the very color of the shoe he was wearing, together with the sock beneath.

Kouyou wished that was a nightmare, wished to wake up and find himself near his wonderful, sweet Aoi, feeling his hand stroke his back and lull the fear away.

The older would say that it was just a dream, that he was there to protect him… but that was reality, the loss and the dread were as thick as the dust coloring the air.

He wished he could see through Kamijo’s actions way before everything happened, but no one ever noticed it.

Not him, not his friends nor the adults around them… they were all tricked by Kamijo’s always smiling face, his sugary voice and the omnipresent charm.

Kouyou hiccuped in his now silent cry, clenching his teeth as his sudden movement made his wound twitch and give out a solid pang of pain. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” the boy sobbed, moving one hand to slowly dry away the tears off his face.

His long fingers moved away his now dirty hair and for once since the first couple of minutes, he let his eyes roam around, watching what he could through the darkness: the cell was smaller than the main shaft and sounds bounced around the walls of the tunnels.

He could hear whispered weeps come from outside his cage, he could hear distant steps and laughs.

There was the soft _plic_ of a watery drop, somewhere down the shaft.

Kouyou’s mind started to retreat inside himself, trying to cope with what he witnessed, what he was currently living.

Closing his eyes, Kouyou thought it was just a really hard campaign with his friends… probably Takanori wanted to make all of them die and he came up with that idea, as usual.

He was without his equipment, his mana was drained and he had low HP due to his wound… Yutaka already died and was watching both him and Akira trapped in the dungeon, probably finding a way to make them cheat.

What he would do in a normal session with his friends?

Slowly, Kouyou took a ragged breath and shifted against the metal rods, blocking a painful moan inside his throat as he moved his wounded leg on the ground.

Grabbing at the bars, Kouyou tried to look up and down the tunnel, noticing that the only faint light was coming from a slightly hidden corner on his left.

His cage was too deep inside that side-shaft to manage to see anything else, so the teen cleared his hurting throat and gulped a couple of times. “S-Satsu…” he whispered, trying to get his sister’s attention. “Satsu, can you hear me?” he added again, trying to search for the little girl with his eyes.

A small peep came from the darkness and, finally, a quiet voice came from the other side of the tunnel. “K-Kou…” Satsuki whined softly. “Th-they took Mitsu away… Where’s Mitsu?” the girl asked, making Kouyou’s heart clench inside his chest.

He too wanted to at least have a body to take to their mother, to realize what really happened. “I-I dunno Satsu-” “I wanna go home…!” the girl interrupted him with a little sob and Kouyou tightened the grip on the metal bars to take a hold on himself. “I know, dumpling… Listen, I wanna take us home, but I need your help, ok?” the teen spoke softly, trying to maintain a calm tone.

If his sister cooperated with him, they could at least have a slight chance to survive. “Let’s… let’s play a game… I spy, I spy with my little eye~” Kouyou almost chanted with now a strained happiness in his voice.

Satsuki hiccuped while rubbing her eyes with her forearm. “I dun wanna play now…!” she lamented and her brother pressed his forehead against the cold bars, feeling the nervousness creep down his spine like the humidity of that place. “C’mon Satsu… It’s like when we went to the salty lake with mom and dad… Please…” Kouyou begged her before silence fell between them.

To the teen, it seemed an eternity before he could hear his sister again, speaking with a slightly less trembling tone. “I spy… I spy… lotsa baddies.” she said, her brown eyes watching a bunch of men walking at the end of the tunnel, sometimes covering the only light coming from a battered camp lamp. “Ok Satsu… what else?” Kouyou prodded her to speak.

The girl pressed her face against the bars of her cage, seeing now the end of the main shaft. “I spy, I spy… Big sacks and a tiny lamp… and Mr. Teacher, he’s mad.” Satsuki whined under her breath. “He’s coming Kou…! I dun wanna owies!” the girl started to get agitated and her brother, biting down at his lower lip. “Satsu, go in the back of the cave, ok? Hide there, I’ll…!” before he could finish, Kouyou heard Kamijo speak roughly, his face creepily illuminated by the light of the phone’s screen.

His long-limbed form walking down the tunnel. “What do you mean there was a roadblock?? I told you to take the highway-” the man stopped in his tracks, his dark shadow now a couple of feet away from Kouyou’s makeshift cell. “Eugh, damned pigs… Ok, I’ll wait for you, but if your ass is not here tomorrow morning I’m fucking kill everyone and sell ’em to the other guy.” Kamijo then ended the call and his eyes veered towards the teen in the cage.

His angered face distended now into a smirk, his eyes blinking with a eerie light. “You’re all lucky, you know?” he spoke gingerly, walking now towards Kouyou’s confinement. “You all earned one night more of freedom… if we can call it that.” Yuji stopped in front of the teen, watching him from his towering height.

Kouyou crawled away from the bars, moaning again in pain as he felt every bit of gravel scratch his wounded leg. “Mhh, listen to that sweet voice.” Kamijo uttered, putting one hand on the padlock he himself used to trap away the boy.

His lips curled up into a malicious grin while he fiddled with the chain. “I could use some dose of happiness, Kouyou… My plan got postponed and that makes me really angry.” Kamijo opened the gate and walked inside.

“You wouldn’t like me too much angry, mon cher.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I have a question for y'all!  
> Next chapter do you want:
> 
> •Free angst with Kamijo and Kouyou  
> or  
> •Going on with the story?


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BYE SUCKERS!  
>  -[citation needed]

Kouyou fought back, at first.

He rose his arms to try and stave off the taller man, kicked with his sane leg, but slowly his body started to tire and Kamijo found those pathetic tries entertaining.

The teacher played with the younger like the proverbial cat with the mouse, grabbing at his wrists in one hand and pushing them up against the rocky wall of the tunnel. “I always asked myself… how your voice would sound if you pleaded for your life.” the older spoke softly, moving his free hand to caress Kouyou’s cheek with uncharacteristic gentleness.

The teen shook his head, escaping the touch, but seconds after a slap made his head turn to the side. “You’re so cute… pure like a weak, little fawn…” Kamijo’s hand went back to caressing Kouyou’s face, pressing his fanned fingers against his soft flesh. “Everytime I had you in my classroom… I wished I could bend you over my desk and pry you open until you asked for mercy…” Yuji chuckled, grasping suddenly at the boy’s jaw, forcing him to look up to his face.

Kouyou watched as Kamijo grinned down at him, feeling coldness pooling in his stomach. “Break your body and mind… I adore making sweet little things like you beg and squirm… until you finally ask for more.” the man deliberately moved his fingers against the younger’s jawbone, pressing the pad of his thumb against the other’s mouth.

Yuji pressed, squishing and moving around Kouyou’s plump lips, distorting them against his clenched teeth. “You already have a wonderful screaming voice… but what about other shades of those yells?” Kamijo cooed the younger, trying to force him to open his mouth. “Open up~” chanted the man, as if he was talking to a child.

Kouyou stood motionless, his eyes drowned with fear but his soul still resilient inside his chest.

He didn’t want to cry, he didn’t want to let himself surrender. “I said… Open up.” Kamijo asked again, his tone now serious and irritated.

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, the taller man took the sole of his shoe to hover on Kouyou’s still pulsing wound, starting to press it down onto the dirt and the gravel.

Methodically, unhurried. “I thought you would be more compliant, Kouyou.” he lectured the younger with a hard tone, watching him whimper and wail through his closed teeth.

The boy lamented in pure pain, the muscles of his jaw trembling as he fought his instincts. “Open your fucking mouth.” Kamijo hissed now in anger, rising his foot to harshly plunge it down onto the teen’s tibia: agony exploded through his very essence as if he got shot again and finally Kouyou opened his mouth to cry out his strangled scream.

Tears streamed down his cheeks as Kamijo’s lips curled up in pleasure, sliding his thumb along the teen’s contracted tongue. “See? It wasn’t hard, mon cher~” the man singed again, feeling the softness of the other’s wet muscle vibrate in that howl.

Kamijo pressed harder on the other’s tongue, flattening it down in his mouth. “Few more hours, dearest, and we’ll be in a more comfy place, mh? For now I just want to make some tests.” he spoke softer, his sugary tone sending violent shivers along the teen’s body.

And not the pleasant kind.

Yuji’s thumb traveled deeper inside his mouth, scratching at his tongue and making him retch as soon as he arrived at the back of his throat. “Mmmh, we need to work a little on that gag reflex.” the man told as he switched for his index and medium fingers, making them slide down inside as he did with his thumb, feeling the younger’s muscles contract around his digits.

Kouyou heaved and gagged as he felt his stomach churn and turn, his eyes automatically closing and his head backing against the wall to escape that torture.

He didn’t even noticed he bit down hard on those fingers in pure fear of suffocate, it only occurred to him when Kamijo pulled them away with a pained groan. “Ah–! You fucking bitch…!” the man spurted before balling the same hand into a fist, hitting Kouyou hard and fast against his face.

Once, twice, Kouyou’s head swung left with a pained wail before he would buckle forward for the kick that punched his breath out of his lungs.

After that fit of rage, Kamijo lost all of his sweet, seductive appearance. “You fucking _connasse_ need to learn your place!” the man roared, his wavy hair covering half of his angered face.

Kouyou then felt fingers claw at his nape, forcing his neck and his back to stretch up, painstakingly slowly. “I’m losing my patience with you, Takashima. This is your second strike… you don’t want to know what happens at the third.” Kamijo hissed, before new sounds of steps approached the cage they were in.

“Yuji, don’t spoil the merchandise.”.

A new, but familiar voice spoke in the thick air and Kouyou felt his heart plunge deep inside the earth: his warm, watery eyes saw glints of a blue uniform illuminated by the faint, first lights of morning, coming through the entrance of the cave. “But Oshiro! He bit me!” Kamijo suddenly lamented at the police officer on the other side of the bars.

Gackt removed the dark glasses from his face and his sharp, dark eyes looked at both of them. “I don’t fucking care. You’ll train him when we’ll be over at our place. Where’s the truck?” he asked without feelings in his voice.

Kamijo, with a huff, released the teen from his hold and stood up, walking over him like surpassing a bundle of dirt. “It got delayed, your _friends_ policemen put up some roadblocks between here and Texas.” the taller explained.

Looking up at the police officer, Kouyou felt the tug of betrayal rip his heart into desperate little pieces. “O-Officer…! W-why!” he moaned, clawing at the gravel on the ground while his whole body was shivering.

He felt pain everywhere, coming and going in waves, making his eyes release more tears while Gackt opened the cell door for Kamijo. “It’s our business, nothing personal Takashima.” the policeman spoke with a matter-of-fact tone, before closing the cage again with a swing of arm.

  


] [] [] [] [

  


Yuu felt refreshed after his prescribed dose and a good night of sleep.

He felt ready to see Kouyou again, with the clear intention of making up for the awful moments he made him pass, the day before.

The raven even passed the whole evening cleaning up both his acoustic guitar and its case, ending up wrapping a shiny blue ribbon on the instrument’s neck. “Ready for someone’s birthday, hun.” he had whispered to the guitar with a soft smile.

After parking in his spot in front of the school, the man got off the vehicle and started walking towards the entrance, a slight relaxed smile on his face.

It was a sunny morning, even in at that early time, and Yuu couldn’t wait to enter the woodworking lab and see the boy sitting at his desk near his friends.

The man imagined his face turn all red as their eyes met, blushing all the way up to the tip of his ears. “Good morning kids.” Yuu spoke as he entered the already filled classroom, chuckling as he heard everyone answer back with a _good morning Mr. Lecter_. “Today we’re at the bandsaw again…I know you love that shit.” he spoke moving towards the white board, taking the marker before turning to watch the class in its entirety.

His eyes scanned the room, but suddenly he notice something off: he couldn’t see a honey-blond head and a pair of lovely hazel doe eyes.

Kouyou’s chair was empty, near Akira, and Yuu saw the little group completely absorbed into a deep conversation. “Suzuki… Suzuki!” Yuu snapped his fingers a couple of times, making the blond boy straighten his back and watch the teacher from above Yutaka’s head.

His eyes were strangely confused and… worried. “Where’s Takashima?” the raven asked and the group of friends fell into a deep silence.

They looked at each other, with Takanori biting down at his lips. “We don’t know, mister.” “He didn’t come this morning.” Yutaka and Akira answered at the same time, but Yuu gestured them quickly. “I asked Suzuki, Tanabe. What do you mean you don’t know?” the raven continued to speak, now putting down the marker to cross his arms against his chest.

He didn’t want to behave like that, those kids didn’t earn his coldness, but the absence of Kouyou made him feel… guilty.

Maybe the boy got scared for real and he didn’t want to see him again…? “Yesterday evening I texted him on Skype how the trip went, but he didn’t reply, so I thought he was probably tired and-” “What trip.” Yuu snapped back almost immediately, while a freezing ball was nesting itself inside his stomach.

It seemed all too familiar to the man: the sudden confusion, the lack of presence heaving his chest down like a boulder chained to his soul. “Our French teacher asked Kou to help him out with the First Grades at yesterday’s field trip.” “More like he bribed him.” Takanori interrupted his boyfriend, his voice sounding concerned.

Their teacher cleared his throat, feeling his muscles starting to tense up.

He needed to calm down, he could almost hear his own heart beating furiously inside his chest. “Your French teacher… is that annoying guy with wavy hair, right…?” the kids all nodded, now looking at each other.

Some mumbled under their breath, asking why their teacher acted like that.

Yuu’s breath started to grow heavier, as panic was beginning to set his mind aflame. “Fuck… Where they went?” the man continued to ask, now walking towards the little group. “Why? Kou probably just fell asleep and-” “WHERE THEY WENT?!” the raven yelled at the top of his lungs, shattering Yutaka’s sentence.

The whole classroom fell into silence while the echo of the adult’s voice faded, his tone choked at the back of his throat. “We don’t know okay?? Why the fuck are you yelling at us anyway??” Takanori stood up as if to confront the teacher, but meanwhile he expected a scolding from the teacher… the smaller of the group only saw the man’s eyes implode in pure terror.

Yuu made a couple of steps back, his irises flashing from one side of the classroom to the other, as if he was thinking furiously. “Fuck… fuckfuckfuck…!” he hissed under his breath, passing a hand through his disheveled hair. “You… you need to call the police! NOW.” Yuu muttered before heading to the door, swinging it open.

It happened again, it happened and he couldn’t stop it…!

He ran down the hallway, his teeth clenching tight against each others and he could feel every little tendon in his body curl up in the rush of adrenaline that was filling his body.

He needed to find him, he needed to find him before it was too late. “HEY!” he heard a shout behind his back as soon as he reached for the front door of the school.

Turning, the raven saw Kouyou’s friends running behind him together with the rest of the class.

They were also alerting other students in the other classrooms, together with the present teachers. “What’s going on?” the Math teacher asked with her serious voice tinted with confusion.

Yuu felt his breathing become erratic as images of the past came flooding his eyes. “Warn the principal, some… some students have been kidnapped.” the raven managed to speak, his voice trembling while his sanity threatened to to crumble.

He then ran outside, leaving behind the doors the panic that started to seep between the student body.

Almost falling on the ground a couple of times, Yuu reached his car and swung the door open, sitting at the driver seat with cold sweat slithering down his neck.

He fumbled with the keys, his hands vibrating so much he couldn’t even held them steady enough to turn on the engine. “C’mon…! C’MON FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” he cried in frustration, lashing out on the steering wheel for bunch of seconds before squeezing it in his palms.

Yuu called on every drop of strength he had to try and calm down the tremors his whole body suffered now, but he almost jumped out of his skin when he heard the other door of his car open and close hard.

Turning, he saw the determined but yet confused face of Akira, sat down on the passenger’s seat. “What… what the fuck are you doing here?” he asked in a huff, trying to calm down even more in presence of the teen.

The blond seemed to take his time to reply, before the pick-up swayed as Yutaka and Takanori climbed on the open behind of the vehicle. “HEY! GET OFF-” “You fucking tell us why you know Kou got kidnapped and where are you going, first.” Akira growled at the man.

The blond knew everything about him and Kouyou, since the first time his friend told him they kissed, around Christmas.

He supported the honey-blond because he saw him happy with the older man, but that was too suspicious: the fact that the man immediately thought about a kidnapping, the way he acted. “I know because it already happened. That’s all you’re gonna have now, kid.” Yuu spoke slowly and deeply, his voice gruff and constrained.

Akira watched Yuu’s dark irises, trying to find some lies in them, but the only thing he saw was concern.

Deep and raging, that seemed to eat the man alive. “Now get off, please… I have to search for him, I can’t…” the raven spoke, turning on the engine and Akira just chuckled harshly. “Get off? How about no.” he spoke back, crossing his arms on his chest.

The pick-up’s engine vibrated under the hood, heating the metal, but the raven was reluctant to take all those still young teenagers with him. “Listen, Suzuki… I can’t… I can’t take you with me. You _don’t know_ what those fuckers do to kids like you and if Kou-” his voice trembled and Yuu suddenly felt emptied at the thought.

If Kouyou died at the same hands that destroyed his life… if they managed to even take him from Yuu… the raven didn’t know what could happen to his mind.

In that very moment he was grasping at all the thin strands of sanity like a mad man, every thread snapping one minute after the other.

Suddenly, a knock on the rear windshield caught their attention. “MOVE THIS FUCKING JUNK, C’MON OLD JEEZER!” Takanori shouted, making Yuu turn to watch while more students and few teachers came out the school building, quickly walking towards his car.

All of them didn’t look happy that he bolted out with that very dangerous and out-of-the-blue sentence. “We know these places better than you.” Akira spoke, looking at the mob approaching even more. “Mr. Shiroyama, it would be better if you stepped on the gas now…!” Yutaka spoke sitting down in the dirty backside of the pick-up.

While all the noise inside Yuu’s head didn’t stop, the man groaned and shifted in reverse gear, making the vehicle suddenly move to exit his parking spot.

Then, with more jerky movement, the raven shifted again and hit the gas so abruptly that the whole vehicle screeched on the asphalt, leaving behind black tracks as he drove outside the parking lot and into the road.

All his muscles tingled with both worry and hurry, making him clench his hands around the wheel. “To make it clear to all of you.” he spoke slowly and growly, his gaze fixed in front of himself. “If I say run, you fucking run.” Yuu then shifted gear again and while Takanori on the back howled _BYE SUCKERS!_ in excitement, Akira nodded to the man. “We’re young, not dumb… Now tell me about these fuckers you were talking about.” the younger blond replied.


	19. Chapter 19

Yuu drove aimlessly away from the town, with the teens speaking to each other and asking him an avalanche of questions that remained unanswered.

Akira seemed to have taken the lead of the group, watching closely the man near him: he noticed how his hands trembled and how his eyes darted from one side of the road to another. “Are you a cop? Like, an undercover one?” Akira asked, suddenly.

The raven rose an eyebrow, slightly turning his head to watch the blond teen beside him. “No, why? I look like a cop?” Yuu asked back, making Akira snort. “You give off ‘bad cop’ vibe… and you said that it already happened-” “It happened to _me_ ok? This is something personal I sincerely don’t want to talk about _right now_.” the man snapped, defensive.

Akira frowned, trying to understand what the man wasn’t saying, the underlying meaning of his words. “But you knew they’re involved in Kou’s disappearing. Whoever the fuck is ‘they’, by the way.” the younger spoke again, seeing the other’s shoulders tense us so much they were trembling.

> _“Ahh Ms. Shiroyama! I’m so glad to see both you and your better half today~”._

What was twirling inside his head to make his body respond so violently to a simple conversation? “Because I never forget a face…” Yuu growled, his fingers almost leaving their prints on the steering wheel.

> _“Ryo is doing really well lately, right dearie?” the teacher said while ruffling the child’s black and fluffy hair in an affectionate way._

“Your French teacher-” “Mr. Kamijo?” Akira blurted out, shocked.

Everyone knew Kamijo was a flirty teacher, but he seemed fine and dandy, always acting gentle when needed and helping every student left behind. “That guy, whatever surname he uses now… he leads a fucking bunch of disgusting scum that kidnaps children and… makes… them…” his voice broke for a moment, the anger swapping its place with anguish. “He may have changed his looks, but his shit-eating grin is still there…” Yuu’s rumbled in the depths of his chest.

The blond teen took away his own eyes to sink them between his knees, the gears in his head screeching: so they had a… child-kidnapper in their classroom for those three whole years and they didn’t know?

Of course hindsight was twenty-twenty, Akira thought, but suddenly a lot of little things started to fit: all the ‘casual’ touches, the almost forced smiles, the way he looked at some of their classmates.

Mr. Kamijo was… choosing, for all that time, like going to the fucking grocery store.

And he chose Kouyou, among all of them.

The realization made Akira’s stomach twist in a fit of nausea: they could’ve stop their teacher if only they _noticed_. “HEY! STOP THE CAR!” Takanori’s powerful voice raged from the back of the pick-up, making both the young and the old jolt out in surprise.

Akira turned to open the little window in the rear windshield, watching his short boyfriend. “What’s up babe?” he asked confused, seeing the big and chocolaty eyes of the boy enlarged with fear. “Look there…!” Yutaka spoke softly, pointing at the left of the car.

Both Yuu and Akira followed his index, seeing a faint stripe of gray smoke rise from deep inside the sea of trees that coasted the road.

Yuu immediately swerved the pick-up to stop at the edge of the lane, pushing hard on the brake before fighting against the security belt. “Stay here!” he barked at the teens, before opening the door and jolting outside.

If there was smoke, there was probably fire… and someone had to light that fire, maybe standing next to it to keep it alive?

Yuu’s mind was floundering from one hypothesis to the other, trying to convince himself Kouyou escaped, camping in those forests because running down the road in the middle of the night might’ve been dangerous.

Meanwhile, Akira got off the pick-up and jogged around the vehicle to pursue the raven. “Wait!” Takanori called him back, holding onto the side of the pick-up to jump off of it, immediately followed by Yutaka.

The three quickly reunited and started to run into the forest: their limbs got scratched by the branches and the wild underbrush, but despite Akira pressed on as fast as he could, the man before them seemed only a shadow, a black lightning overpassing fallen trees and skidding from time to time on some rock.

Takanori was breathing heavily, watching his friends slowly surpass him and his shorter legs, but the only thing he could think of was how quickly Yuu was moving.

He never saw someone run like that, he never saw a man run like he had the Devil himself behind his back, pushing all of his muscles to the limit. “WAIT!! HEY!!” Akira shouted as his ambery eyes couldn’t see the raven anymore. “Keep… running… Aki!” Yutaka panted as he moved, bowing forward to avoid a quite low branch.

The three teens didn’t stop until their eyes met with Yuu’s still figure and their feet shook, crushing dry leaves peppered with yellow, metallic parts. “What the fuck…?” Takanori mumbled under his breath, instinctively rising a hand to grip at Akira’s arm.

The boys got welcomed by the chilling image of one of their school buses, crashed and mangled on its side, the metal of its skeleton all wavy and contorted. “No… no no no…” Yuu huffed making a couple of steps forward, his very soul quivering inside his chest.

The destroyed vehicle rested on the shore of a small river, the paint crusted with earth and- “That’s… blood?” Yutaka muttered in fear, seeing red stains on what remained of the dashboard.

No one had the courage to reply to the boy, the four of them devastated by the sight of one small, little limb dangling from what was a window of the bus.

Other corpses seemed to appear among the leaves like mushrooms, tiny dark clumps that sometimes a stray ray of sun illuminated, creating sparkles on the colors of a small backpack or some pink, glittery shoes.

It was Yuu, then, that broke the silence they fell in. “Don’t… don’t look.” he said softly, his face completely deprived of every drop of color. “Stay here… Don’t fucking move.” he added before he approached the yellow carcass with a quick trot.

Yuu made a circle around it, finding a gash big enough to let his body pass and with a pinch of effort he hoisted himself up on the edge of the opening before falling inside, feeling the raw metal scratch at his back.

He didn’t know why he desperately wanted to enter that disaster of a vehicle, he just hoped that there was someone still alive… he hoped to find Kouyou, as futile as it could seem.

Attentively, the raven put one foot after the other, staying hunched forward in the small space that the squished metal left untouched: few other kids were lying there, mangled into a bloody pulp or their tiny bodies trapped between the plasticky seats.

The driver was a stain on the contorted muzzle of the bus, his blue-ish uniform now blackened by the blood.

The stench of death and blood was gripping at Yuu throat, sinking its claws inside his brain, and the man felt a new breakdown starting to buzz at the confines of his sanity.

It was all returning to that day, the bright sun outside, the shiny part of the knife, her sobbing cries mixing with the saltiness of the blood on the floor.

> _“I’m sorry Yuu… I couldn’t stop…!”_

“Hey, Lecter…!” Takanori’s voice called him from outside. “Have you found… there’s someone alive?” he added, trying to see where Yuu was.

The raven, instead of answering, was circling down more and more into the image of _her_ gripping at _his_ little body and asking why, why, why.

> _“IT’S ALL MY FAULT!”_

That was the scream that always left her mouth every time she had nightmares and Yuu had to gulp down all his own horrid dreams to console her broken heart.

With tears-filled eyes, Yuu walked slowly along the mangled bus, his pupils thick as the tip of a needle. “Can you hear us??” Akira shouted, then, ripping Yuu from the dark bubble he got lost in. “I… yeah…” he replied loud enough to be heard, but as soon as his words faded into the still air, something moved.

It was just a twitch under a broken seat and the raven almost though it was his imagination, but the twitch became a movement and the movement became a little whine.

As quickly as he could, Yuu launched himself forward and on his knees, using both his hands to tear away what remained of the ruined seat.

His muscles puffed up under his t-shirt and Yuu didn’t even notice that a sharp edge of the plastic made a deep cut inside his palm, he grabbed and pulled until there was nothing in front of him but a kid.

A small boy, curled up in a ball on the metallic floor, pale as a ghost and with his dark hair damp with blood.

> _“I’m sorry I’m rubbing salt into the wound, Mr. and Ms. Shiroyama, but we really need you to confirm his identity”._

Astonished, Yuu moved one hand and very carefully he caressed the child’s head, then down his arched back, feeling his soft skin retaining a little bit of warmth.

He was still breathing but he had one arm and both his legs broken, at least for what the adult could see. “Oh thank God you’re alive…” Yuu muttered, watching all the scratches, the bruises and a the wound on his forehead that was the cause of all that blood on his head.

> _“Is this your son?”._

Woken up by the man’s delicate touch, the kid moaned again as if he wanted to continue sleeping, scrunching up his face while trying to move. “Shhh… sh-sh-sh it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay…” he then whispered with constrained affection in his voice, feeling agitated.

The kid was still hanging in there, holding on his little spark of life, and the raven’s brain twitched, overlaying the unknown kid in front of him with his son’s face.

Not the one that smiled at him everyday as he came back from work, but the one he saw on the morgue’s table, lifeless and almost unrecognizable.

Slowly, Yuu crawled as near to the kid as he could and he prudently moved both his hands forward: sliding them underneath the kid’s body, the man rose him from the cocoon of rubbles he was trapped before hugging him.

Other pained whines gurgled from the kid’s throat and Yuu’s heart squeezed hard. “Shhh I know, I know… I’m sorry.” the raven cooed him with the sweetest voice he could master, until the boy was silent again, his tiny head on the man’s shoulder.

Squishing attentively that small body to his chest, Yuu felt heavy tears fall from his own eyes, making him release deep, shaky breaths. “You’re gonna be fine, I’m sorry…”.

Crying silently, the raven rocked slowly back and forth, his lips pressed against the child’s bloodied hair as he held him up with the forearm under his bottom.

> _“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I coulnd’t save you.”_

It was something he wished to do for so long and even if he wanted to be happy, in that moment… it was hurting his heart more than it should have. “Nnnnh… we… already there…?” the kid mumbled softly, his tiny voice tired and sluggish.

Yuu forced down his cries when he heard that peep and a befuddled chuckle escaped his mouth. “Yeah laddie… we there.” he answered back with a pained smile, now finally hearing Akira and his friends calling him from outside, more and more concerned. “Holy fuck he fell and died… I’m so sure he fell and died on some sharp metal thingie…!” “Yuta calm down ok? He’s a grown-ass man for fuck’s sake…!” “Guys, guys! I can’t hear anything if you don’t shut up!”.

Still securely holding the boy to his torso with a hand behind his head, Yuu rose from his knees and stood up, quickly walking out the bus.

He almost skidded on the still fresh blood and when the raven reached the gash in the side of the bus, he found it even more difficult to get out, since he didn’t want the kid to get even more injured.

Using his legs as much as he could, Yuu climbed out and, as soon as his feet touched the leafy ground, he trotted around the vehicle. “See? He’s fine-!” the shorter of the group fell into a shocked silence when they saw the man with his arms filled by a tiny body. “He– He’s alive but he needs a doctor right now.” Yuu spoke as he approached them quickly.

The three teens immediately grouped around the older. “He’s the only one…?” Akira asked, watching the boy cough slightly, his eyes squeezing for a couple of seconds. “The bus was almost empty. Surely they took the others somewhere else.” the man replied with a matter-of-fact tone. “Kou wasn’t there…?” Yutaka uttered in fear.

Yuu shook his head, his face growing serious by the seconds. “Who knows how to drive a stick?” the raven quickly asked, seeing the three of them look at each other before Yutaka shyly rose his hand. “Perfect…” the raven exhaled. “The keys are in, you and the midget here take the kid downtow-” “What? I’m not leaving him-” Takanori pointed at Akira. “-with you, are you fucking crazy?? I still don’t fucking trust you!”.

The blond teen looked up at his boyfriend and even if the other seemed angry, he knew that his fierce behavior was only hiding fear. “Babe, I’ll be fine. I wanna find Kou too.” Akira spoke calmly, trying to smile at Takanori, but Yuu groaned at the edge of his patience. “When I said you I meant the _three_ of you-!” the raven’s voice stopped as another one squeaked under his chin.

“Nnnh~” the small boy lamented again, now gripping at the raven’s clothes while opening one eye. “Where… are… tha pretty… rocks?” he mumbled confused as he watched around.

His dark-green iris seemed devoid of any light, but that was only the pain starting to take over the child. “Rocks?” Yuu frowned, caressing instinctively the kid’s nape to soothe him. “What… what pretty rocks laddie?” the man asked softly, his angry tone abruptly changing for the sake of the kid.

The child, though, started to moan more for the throbbing pain in his tiny body and his still sane hand tugged at the raven’s t-shirt. “Tha pretty… ones…! from tha… ugly ones… Mr. said to the big boy…” he lamented, his little mind starting to fade back into numbness.

Everyone fell into silence, completely dumbfounded by the boy’s words, but suddenly, Akira got struck by an idea, almost as if a big light bulb flickered above his head.

He opened his eyes wider and wider as the pieces connected together in his head. “The pretty from… the ugly?” he mumbled before turning to Takanori, almost shaking him as the taller grabbed his shoulders. “What you said to me when we got together??” he spourted. “Uhm… that I’m a fucking shopaholic?” the smaller tentatively said back, confused, his brows knitted together.

The blond boy shook his head. “Nooo the other thing! The fucking one that made me blush, with the girls and shit!” “W-w-why you need to take it out right now??” Takanori stuttered violently while his cheeks took a reddish color.

“C’mon, I need to remember the exact words!” Akira continued to nag the other, almost begging him. “Aww for fuck’s sake- Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, that’s why you’re my boyfriend… Here…! Are you happy now?” the smaller uttered quickly, while Yutaka was watching them completely puzzled.

As if those words triggered him, something bubbled up from the back of Yuu’s mind, something that he forcedly erased for all those years.

At Ryo’s funeral, the priest said in his eulogy something very particular.

> _“For he that returns dirt, Our Lord will make him diamond”_

But he strangely couldn’t picture the priest’s face in his mind, his eyes drowned with the image of the white coffin, the raven’s arms too busy closing around her sobbing figure.

“Yeah, that…!” Akira almost smiled. “I was scrolling on Facebook like, a week ago, when I saw this fucking image that had that sentence on it! It said that it was like a conspiracy thing because diamonds are not that rare since they can be made with _coal_!” he said stressing the last word of his charade.  


The blond took in a big breath like he was suffocating with the amount of words he spoke and he saw the shorter’s eyes light up with understanding. 

Takanori took both his hands to his wavy hair, in complete disbelief. “I can’t belive your fucking Facebook wall is gonna save our fucking friend…!” he hissed before clawing the other’s face, kissing him harshly. “You’re a fucking genious!” the smaller’s eyes filled with a strange type of epiphany. “But… That’s a myth-” Yutaka tried to speak, before the shorter could shush him with a quickly gesture of his hand.

He then turned to watch Yuu in his still pale face, his skin strangely covered in cold sweat. “Listen here, Lecter!” the brunette spoke quickly, catching the other’s dark irises with a snap of his fingers. “There a shit-ton of old mines here, but the only one that’s relatively close is the Wellspring Mineshaft.” the teen said.

Takanori then proceeded to explain that, being near a river, probably the entrance to the mine was above their heads, uphill. “Wait, wait, wait.” the raven interrupted him as he heard Takanori say _I’m coming with y’all_. “I need all of you to stay safe and take this kid to a safe place… I can only trust you, by now.” he spoke, emotions starting to fill his chest again.

Why was he so attached to those teens?

“I… I’ll take your friend back, I promise.” he continued. “But… I can’t risk any more lives ok? Police’s probably on its way and this boy needs his parents…” as he said that, he turned to watch Yutaka’s face, almost pleading him.

And with that gaze, Yutaka sighed before walking forward. “Now I understand why Kou got swept off his feet.” he spoke softly, before rising his hands.

Yuu smiled tiredly and gently passed the now sleeping kid in the teen’s arms, stretching his ones out as if he didn’t want to let go. “Thank you…” as he whispered, the raven slowly started to walk away, before he broke into a proper jog.

But he couldn’t even make beyond a couple of feet that another pair of feet started follow him. “You might like him, _Aoi_ , but he’s my bro. No way I’m gonna stay behind.” Akira chuckled, reaching Yuu’s side.

The man groaned, but mentally took a note to scold Kouyou for telling his friends about their relationship… if he ever found him alive.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the roads of our heroes splits up!

“Thank you…”

As the raven whispered that sentence, Takanori felt his own lungs deflate.

The man was completely set on freeing their friend and even if the brunette only wanted to hug Kouyou again, he had to admit it all suddenly felt _big_ , way bigger than them.

Takanori never felt so small and weak in all his life, even if he was physically smaller than the others of his age.

He never thought life could be so… easy to shatter in one million pieces. “Let’s go back to the car.” Yutaka spoke gently, carrying the sleeping kid in his arms.

Takanori only nodded, making a couple of steps away from the accident site, but his dark eyes got trapped on Akira’s figure, unmoving. “Aki, c’mon…!” the shorter’s voice died midair as his lover broke into a run, towards the raven.

Panic settled inside Takanori’s heart, seeing Akira’s back becoming smaller and smaller. “HEY HEY NO! AKIRA!” he shouted immediately following them.

The blond, hearing his name, stopped on his tracks to turn and feel the other’s body collide against his one, gripping violently at his forearms. “Where the fuck are you going uh??” Takanori yelled into his face, his entire body shaking with anger and terror.

Kouyou might have been dead and that could have been a tragedy for all of them… but the short brunette couldn’t care less, if he still had Akira by his side.

Takanori loved Kouyou as a friend, deeply… but Akira was his other half, the one that made his days better and definitely the number-one priority in his list. “He doesn’t know these woods, babe.” Akira replied to him with an apologetic smile on his face. “He needs someone to show him where’s Wellspring and if I can help I-” “This fucking hill has more holes than a slice of fucking gruyere! Let the fucking adult handle it!” the shorter quickly replied, pulling him towards himself.

His knuckles were whitening for the sheer force he was using to restrain his boyfriend, eyes widened and teeth clenched. “We’ll find Kou quicker if we’re two.” Akira spoke even softer now, his hands rising to caress the other’s sides. “I DON’T FUCKING CARE!” a choked growl came from the back of Takanori’s throat.

The blond knew who to read in those contracted pupils, he knew that wasn’t bad temperament that was showing through, but only his lover’s only way to show how much he really cared.

Akira sighed deeply, leaning forward to leave a little kiss on Takanori’s lips, giving him a nudge with his nose. “Taka, I’ll be alright, ok?” he whispered, seeing his boyfriend shaking his head. “You’ll not be alright if you fucking get shot in your fucking face…!” the shorter hissed.

Suddenly, Yuu’s voice spoke behind Akira’s back, whistling at them. “Loverboy there is right, I’m not letting anyone die… If he wants to come with me there’s no use yelling your lungs out.” the raven spoke with determination, watching above them from his higher position on the slope.

Slowly, the blond passed his thick arms around the shorter to sink his figure in his own torso. “I’ll be back to you… I promise.” Akira whispered against the other’s ear.

Takanori planted his face against Akira’s neck, breathing in and out a couple of times, before he let go of him, his fingers still tensed up. “If you die… I’ll fucking kill you.” his voice vibrated with hidden fear, deep and low inside his chest.

Then, the shorter shot his arms around the taller’s body and squeezed him tight against himself before turning and running away, towards Yutaka and disappearing in the denseness of the forest. “We’ll be back as soon as possible.” Yuu tried to break the ice, seeing Akira almost look like an abandoned dog.

His shoulders falling and his chest puffing up in a deep sigh. “Yeah…” the blond muttered before turning on his heels, jogging up the hill together with the older.

As their rise started, along the side of the hill, Takanori sniffled as he reached the pick-up with Yutaka, his entire soul thrashing inside him: go back to town and be sure the police will do their job or bolt back and stay near Akira in case something happened?

But then his eyes fell on the kid still sleeping on Yutaka’s lap, now sitting on the driver’s seat. “Hey…” Takanori called his friend as he got on the passenger’s seat.

Yutaka was in quite a trouble reaching for the key because of the child, and the shorter just thought he could be of some help after all. “Gimme…” he then motioned towards the small kid and Yutaka smiled reassuring. “Thank you… he’ll be fine, Akira is our Berserk for a reason, right?” the boy said happily.

Takanori only chuffed a not-too-serious insult towards the friend and secured the child on his lap, holding him as the other turned the engine on.

All of a sudden, Yutaka made a little noise through his nose, almost lamenting. “I don’t remember~” he murmured, looking down at the pedals of the car then and the stick.

The shorter blinked a couple of times before snapping his head to the left. “What do you mean you don’t remember??” he asked completely shocked and Yutaka chuckled sheepishly. “I…don’t remember how far it needs to go to get into the first gear…”.

“YOU SAID YOU KNEW HOW TO DRIVE!!”

“But the numbers on the stick are all faded…!”

“EUGH…!”

Surely Takanori wasn’t in the mood for that, worried not only for a dear friend, but also for the life of his lover. “I-I’m sorry it’s been a while since my mom taught me how to…” Yutaka sputtered a little, now nervously pushing on the clutch before putting the palm on the top of the driving stick.

Slowly he pushed it up and to the left, feeling the car’s motor change sound. “Ok I got it…!” Yutaka chirped as he saw the car moving down the road.

With a little of maneuvers and shifting from first to second gear, the teenagers drove back to the town, drowning in the silence inside the pick-up.

Takanori was looking outside the window, his arms wrapped around the kid and his mind flying back to the forest, the mangled bus and the bloody corpses…

He asked himself why people would do that… no, not why.

The reason was always money, of course, because kidnapping and chopping up kids probably had some value in some fucked-up foreign country.

Takanori asked himself _how_ people could do that… how could they silence their minds and live their lives with so much blood on their hands.

The shorter never liked kids that much, he was too young to even think about children in the first place, but hurting them…

Killing them…

Was completely beyond every conception.

The car traveled fast down the lane, both teens feeling relieved as they saw the outline of the houses they knew by heart, but Takanori’s chocolaty eyes also saw a couple of patrol cars going towards them with their lights flashing and sirens active. “At least this new mayor gave the guys at the police station new cars…” the shorter chuckled darkly while Yutaka slowed down with a little of difficulties, making the pick-up come to a halt.

Policemen got off their cars, guns in hand and pointed them at the grey vehicle in front of them. “GET OFF, HANDS UP!” one of the officers shouted and Yutaka slowly opened the car’s door.

Takanori did the same and both of them got welcomed by the confused looks of the policemen.

Both of them put down their guns, walking up to the pick-up. “Two teenagers and a kid, age five to seven, ambulance needed. Repeat, ambulance needed-” one officer mumbled into their radio while the other trotted towards them. “Are you safe? Where’s your teacher?” the patrolman asked, watching now how battered it was the child in Takanori’s arms.

Yutaka immediately stood near his friend, gulping down his shyness to start explain at the best he could and, especially, quickly. “We found the missing bus, there are some dead children there but others got taken away!” the dark-haired said. “Our teacher is still there with one our friend-” “Your teacher kidnapped your friend?” the second officer cut his explanation short.

Yutaka nodded, feeling the panic of the interrogation starting to grip his voice. “The newcomer, I knew we couldn’t trust him.” one of the patrolmen said with a bitter tone in his voice.

_[“Central we have a two-zero-seven, repeat two-zero-seven, suspect is mixed Asian, around five-foot-eight, black medium hair, dark eyes.”]_

Other cars popped out of the horizon, parents and friends alike, all driving to reach the patrol cars in hope to find their loved ones. “No no no! It’s not him, it’s our… our other teacher-!” Yutaka almost yelled, when the officers seemed to now understand him fully. “We’ll take care of them, go back home now and let us work.” one of the policemen shushed Yutaka, starting to push him towards the civilian cars.

Takanori heard the policemen talk in their radios, while the distant sound of an ambulance started numbing every word said, every name and voice in its ringing, screeching noise.

_[“Multiple ten-five-four and possible Code Purple, request permission to use force if necessary.”]_

> _[“Permission granted patrol three and four, take our kids home.”]_

It was all confusing, the men pushing both Takanori and Yutaka towards the other adults while continuing to talk without even listening to what the taller was saying to them.

Paramedics rushed to them with a stretcher, gently taking the child out of Takanori’s hold to quickly transport him inside the ambulance’s van. “THEY’RE AT FUCKING WATERSPRING!” the shorter exclaimed in a fit of rage, watching the police look down on him. “FUCKING LISTEN TO US! You’re thinking about the WRONG GUY-” “Takanori??”.

The sole sound of his mother’s voice made Takanori shrink down in his shoulders. “Mom…!” he tried to speak, but seeing both his parents running in his directions made him tremble.

Not in happiness, but in fear. “Takanori, what happened?!” his mother shrieked as Ms. Matsumoto reached for his son, hugging him tightly. “Your school called saying that… that man kidnapped you!! I’m so glad you’re safe!!” the woman squeezed Takanori in her arms, but her son just fought the hold. “No, for fuck’s sake! WE went with him! Akira too! And he’s trying to save ‘em!” the shorter spoke again, his voice scratching his throat so much it hurt.

Not his parents, nor Yutaka’s listened to them while drove by a deep state of frenzy, their mind completely fogged by hysteria.

 

] [] [] [] [

 

Yuu and Akira slowly, but surely, climbed up the foresty slope, holding onto some tree from time to time, slightly panting with fatigue as their legs forced them up.

The raven helped up the blond when the younger almost slipped down the slanted earth and Akira did the same when the older’s foot got tricked by a dry piece of wood.

Birds were chirping above their heads, the sun was making the leaves shine in the soft breeze that was blowing, but all that was wasted by their dark expressions, their eyes fixed on their destination. “Sure… he’s a spitfire.” Yuu chuckled breathless, his back slightly hunched forward while walking.

Akira turned his head to watch the man, his brows knitted with confusion. “Uh?” “Your midget… boyfriend.” Yuu added, making the blond snicker softly. “Yeah… I love me some spicyhead.” the tone in Akira’s voice grew even fonder now, while he was pushing his own knees with his hands.

The angle of the slope was somewhat increasing, making the two huff and puff even more. “You should… see him when… we go shopping…” the blond teen continued to speak, their voices breaking the oppressing silence around them.

It was almost easier that way, talking about trivial things and detach for a moment from what they just witnessed. “He says… I lack sense of… fashion, I say… I like being comfy!” Akira then chortled, hearing Yuu do the same. “I can’t be… handsome twentyfour-seven… right?” the teen said almost sarcastically.

Yuu stopped for a moment, feeling his lungs press painfully against his ribcage, and he rose his eyes up, looking up through the trees: there he could see the distant curb of the road above their heads, with what remained of the guardrail.

They still had a little more to climb, but they were almost there. “My wife… was like that.” the raven suddenly spoke, almost coaxed into saying more by the light-hearted tone of Akira’s voice. “A real… ahh… piece of work…” a little smile appeared on the older’s face, while both of them started to walk again.

And Akira saw the man’s eyes glint with the melancholic light of past shadows. “She always… stole my fucking hoodies…!” Yuu laughed under his breath, keeping his head down. “Same here…! Why they… can’t have their… own sweaters??” the teen replied jokingly before silence hit them harder than before.

“I… miss her… so much…”.

A murmur, so low it almost got lost in the crunches of the dry leaves under their feet. “Divorce?” Akira asked, his eyes watching the man’s jaw contract a little.

His head shaking, while his Adam’s apple bobbed in search of the right words. “She… killed herself.” Yuu explained softly, his legs stopping again while his hand searched the bark of the nearest tree to help himself up. “When police found… our son’s body… she broke down… mentally.” the raven continued to speak.

_What the fuck are you doing?_ He was asking himself, why was he telling everything to a teen that probably didn’t even cared about him?

Akira, instead, moved until he stopped inches away from the older, to regain breath and lean his back against a tree. “Single… and couple therapy… at home or at… the hospital, we tried… everything.” the river of words grew bigger and bigger the more Yuu heaved that tale, as if a bubble inside his chest exploded. “It started… with nightmares… then binge eating… then she started… to cut…”.

The blond younger remained in silence, absorbing each and every word he heard, and in that moment he understood what Kouyou saw through the man.

Why he was so obsessed with the fictional character of the Onyx Czar: that sadness was like and aura around the older, so much that Akira could almost taste its bittersweet flavor and for a moment, it clicked.

All that was the embodiment of Kouyou’s desire to help, what his ‘nurse syndrome’ striven for. “One day I came home… and she had cut too deep… and after that I… had to leave.” one dry gulp and Yuu felt his legs shaking.

His chest was contracting and he could still _smell it_ , it was in his clothes and in his skin. “Blood was always… always there… even if I cleaned up… again and… again-” “Hey.” Akira stopped him, getting on his own feet to place a hand on the other’s shoulders.

Yuu moved his now glossy eyes towards the younger, seeing his face shining at him an apologetic smile, _are you ok?_ dancing in his eyes “Sorry… I got carried away…” “No problem. At least now is off your chest, right?” Akira slightly patted the man’s back and the raven nodded slowly.

He sincerely felt a little better, telling that story because he wanted and not because a therapist asked him to.

It was like a confession and feeling the sins slowly ease away in the back of one’s mind. “That’s why I don't want them to hurt Kouyou… at least, more than a healthy man should want.” a little of self-sarcasm and Yuu found again his sardonic laugh, together with Akira’s scornful one. “Hell yeah, that’s the Lecter I know!” the blond joked, before motioning the man to reprise their strenuous climb.

Yuu sincerely felt a smile crawl up to his lips, sending a silent thank-you to the younger before following him again until their reached the feet of the short scarp that separated them from the road.

Akira cracked his fingers, before trying to grip at the unsteady wall of rocks. “Be careful, I need to take your ass to your boyfriend in one piece…!” Yuu sneered, seeing Akira respond with a not-so-happy “Ahh-ahh how funny! I’m the one topping-!”.

The teen’s voice got choked at the back of his throat when his left foot skidded and the teenager fell back the couple of feet he made off the ground.

It wasn’t a big fall, Yuu thought the other would survive with just a greenish bruise on his ass, but when the adult saw the ground under the teenager open up to reveal a deep, dark shaft, he immediately sprung forwards.

His hand clawed at Akira’s figure at the last instant, gripping the neck of his t-shirt and stopping his fall for few seconds, before the piece of clothing started to rip. “Ffffuck…! Hold on!” Yuu roared, but Akira took both his hands to the hem now sinking in his throat. “Ack-! You’re… choking me…!” he exclaimed. “I… can see… the ground! Lemme go!”.

In that moment, Yuu noticed there was ladder coming up against the rocks and, less than ten feet down the shaft, he saw flat pavement of a mine.

“Oh…”

Yuu softened the grip on Akira’s shirt and saw him fall on his feet, his knees bending as he landed. “Sorry… I thought-” “Shh!” the teen immediately put a finger on his lips.

He could hear speaking, down the tunnel, and a faint light was swaying right after a curve, sending big shadows on the rocky walls.

The blond younger started to walk slowly, almost crouching down while the raven quickly climbed down the stairs. “Prepare the boxes, we need everything ready to ship. The truck will be here in a hour.” one man told the other three that Akira could see and everyone was handling big boxes covered in rusty-colored stains.

While Akira pressed himself against the corner to try and look better, his foot slowly squelched something softer than the ground: lifting his shoe up, the teen saw what seemed to be a dark, bloody tuft of hair.

That was… someone’s scalp, freshly torn from a skull.

Then both their eyes started to get accustomed to darkness, seeing bags and boxes and crates of small, lithe body parts.

Jars of eyes, other scalps of hair of every color, liters and liters of blood.

Akira would’ve screamed, if it wasn’t for Yuu’s hand reaching to his lips to shut him up. “We… we don’t have time for that…” the older mumbled, his voice strained with disgust. “Get behind me…” Yuu then whispered, watching the unknown men walking away from their position, starting to group their merchandise alongside the tunnel.

Even if the teen wanted to barf all the content of his stomach, he gulped down the bile and shifted slowly behind the raven, watching him walk towards the men, staying low.

Suddenly he jolted, grabbing the last man of the row in front of him and smashing his head against the rocky wall, making him fall limp on the ground.

The other three noticed the sound of the scuffle and, turning, they barely managed to see the raven attack them: Yuu aimed at the solar plexus of one before quickly sinking his fist inside another’s throat, silencing both in the matter of seconds.

The third, confused for the sudden apparition of the raven, left behind the box he was carrying and started to run towards the end of the tunnel, but he fell under Akira’s takle. “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU! GET OFF!” he screamed while the teenager was trying to block him from escaping.

Yuu quickly came in Akira’s help, barking him to stay back as he gave a hard kick in the stranger’s face.

As silence fell again in the tunnel, the blond younger stood up, watching how the other men were now sitting on the ground.

All out like a light. “You said you weren't a cop, you liar.” jokingly poked at the raven, now massaging his reddened knuckles. “ **I’m nae a cop, T’m a feckin' radge Scotsman**.” the older replied with a smirk, before he moved again down the tunnel together with Akira.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Police codes:  
> Code purple - gang activity  
> 207 - kidnapping  
> 10-54 - possible dead body


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Better than a SWAT team *brofist*

Yuu ran together with Akira through the tunnels, following the dim lights that flickered at every corner, like little bread crumbs that leaded them to a bigger shaft full of side-tunnels.

His dark eyes zipped among the only three makeshift cages, seeing kids there laying on the ground, sleeping or crying their eyes out: one cell was filled with boys and another with girls, while the third was partly hidden by a stack of crates.

It was a hard vision for him, making his heart squeeze tight when he noticed bruises on their small faces and limbs.

He was gonna free them all, save all the savable. “Fuck… they’re all here…!” Akira whispered, jerking his chin towards the end of the tunnel where Yuu saw a bunch of men loading some of those white boxes on a truck.

The raven felt his mouth dry, as he noticed Kamijo cheerily speaking with someone dressed in blue and black that too much seemed like a policeman.

They had to move fast and free all those children, but the cages were all chained up. “You know how to break padlocks?” the older whispered while pressing himself against the nearest wall, gears working full-throttle in his head.

Akira shook his head and Yuu started to go all fidgety: he needed something to use as a lever, so he made his eyes scan every inch of the tunnel, turning his head back to look down the tunnel they just passed through.

His eyes widened before he jogged back, grabbing what seemed to be a hammer from the top of one of those bloodied crates.

The tool seemed old, but it was recently used.

Yuu then took the padlock and blocked it’s main, square-ish part between two metal bars and fitted the claw of the tool inside the hoop of the padlock. “Hold the door firm.” he whispered to Akira.

As the teen held the bars in his palms, Yuu jerked his arms back in a sudden movement, making the first padlock’s shackle to snap open, the metal bended and ripped by the leverage force.

The kids inside the cage got startled by the sudden noise and immediately Akira put a finger on his lips, shushing the kids into a surprised silence. “We’re gonna take you home!” he breathed with a light smile, seeing the children look at him with fear.

Yuu moved to the next cage when his body stiffened: his eyes saw the traffickers stop on their tracks, paralyzed by something.

Sirens then popped in the distance, police and ambulance alike, and that seemed to stir the criminals, quickening their motions. “Fuck… go open the other, I’ll take Kou…!” Yuu muttered as he watched the men walk around the truck in a hurry while others quickly started to jog deeper inside the mines.

The blond teen hurried to yank the second padlock open, but as he saw the lock fall on the ground he watched the old metal of the hammer do the same thing, rattling on the gravel. “Shit…!” he muttered, turning to call the older and showing him the now broken head of the hammer. “Take them out, I’ll manage something here…!” Yuu whispered angrily, waving his hand.

Akira nodded again, leaving the unusable tool on the ground and he entered the girls cage. “Shhhh let’s play duckies and follow me.” Akira murmured to them, trying to pry them off their fear.

Then, one little girl ran to him, jumping to hug his waist tight. “Aki! Aki!” the girl whined in a whisper, desperate. “Satsu…! Ahh I’m so happy to see you” Akira knelt down to hug the girl, messing her hair as he separated from her “Where’s Mitsu? I’m taking you and Kou away from here”.

Satsuki’s now smiley face fell as her eyes watered. “Mitsu… Mitsu is in the sky now… and Kou has ouchie…!” she lamented on the verge of tears. “…Mitsu is…?” Akira’s mind shut down for an instant, shocked by the notice and even if he wanted to act quickly, he just managed to hug the girl tighter. “Mitsu is making granny happy…I-I’m sure of it.” Akira whispered, his voice growing strained in his throat. “Now… let’s go out of here, ok? We’ll take care of Kou, too.” the teen rose from his knees, still holding Satsuki’s hands.

Seeing their friend interacting with him, the children of both cages started to group around the teen and then trot behind Akira down the shaft, to the opposite side of where the ‘baddies’ were.

All while the blond younger convinced the kids to follow him, Yuu walked with his body along the wall, his eyes dashing from the exit to the now more visible cage.

He wanted to act coldly, open the cell silently and take Kouyou out -not without giving him a crushing hug and a deep kiss- but as he managed to reach the gate of the cage, his heart stopped working.

Kouyou was a dark lump on the ground, his honey-blond hair all dirty with both dirt and blood, his body laying still on his side so much Yuu feared he didn’t make it.

Yuu’s hands shook as the older gripped the metal bars. “Kou… Kouyou!” he breathed the teen’s name in hope to get a response from him, but the call just echoed in the side-shaft without any result.

His gentle, shy Kouyou, reduced to the like of a broken doll…

With a fit of anger and despair, the raven looked up at the hinges of the gate and, kicking the tip of his foot underneath the cell door he abruptly pushed up.

His arms’ muscles grew bigger with the effort and he felt his back give him dangerous signals, but he persisted.

Relentlessly, the stoppers above the hinges creaked and moved about an inch upwards before Yuu had to take a tiny break, heaving hard and through his clenched teeth.

He hissed some insults, feeling tired already after all what happened, and tried again, using his foot to push the gate up again and wrapping his palms around the bars.

Again, the stoppers moved another inch before one of them tinkled on the ground, followed by the second: the door opened in a swing and hit the crates near the cell, making them fall down. “Easy with the merch! I said to move your asses, not destroy everything!” Kamijo’s voice thundered outside, his back still turned to the shaft and Yuu launched himself inside the makeshift cage.

His ears got deafened by the raging pumping of his heart, as he knelt down and slowly moved his palms forward, almost scared to touch the boy’s body and feel it cold, hard.

Kouyou’s face was so pale, his plush lips bloodied and one of his eyes circled by a dark bruise.

His long fingers were curled against the palm, the younger’s whole hands covered in now dried-up blood.

“Kou… Kouyou, I’m here…!”.

It was surreal, it was like going back years and repeating everything again, from his son’s death to his wife’s, an endless cycle of suffering and agony.

Again he had to take back a corpse, again he had to pass his nights crying and curse himself for arriving too late.

“C’mon… you sleepyhead… No time for naps…”.

The raven’s shivering hands slowly hovered on the teen’s body, feeling his skin sweaty and cold under his fingertips.

Yuu then attentively rose him from the ground, seeing the teen remain limp. “Kou… No, please…” Yuu murmured between his teeth, face scrunched up in the excruciating pain of loss.

Dark eyes closed shut while heavy tears started to roll down his cheekbones, the sound of his breaking heart scratch at him like claws on a chalkboard.

In the dust-filled tunnel, the raven wanted to scream, but he couldn’t.

Wanted to thrash around and break his knuckles against the rocky wall, but he couldn’t.

He only managed to cradle the teen’s body against his own, squeezing him hard without even realize it.

But when Yuu took the younger’s whole body in his arms, gulping down silent sobs, a sudden fit of soul-breaking pain ran from Kouyou’s wounded calf to his brain, jolting him awake.

With a low, pained moan, the honey-blond tensed up, his weak hands clawing at the older’s clothes.

Feeling Kouyou’s sudden movements, Yuu shot his eyes open and watched the other’s face twisted in pain, disbelief blowing away the dark clouds suffocating his soul. “ **Fur fuck’s sake he’s alive…!** ” he left out a jarred chuckle. “Shh shshsh it’s ok… it’s ok I’m here.” the raven then added in a sweet, apprehensive tone.

He instinctively started to leave butterfly kisses all over his face, cupping his cheek with one careful palm, brushing his dirty hair away in a sweet motion.

Yuu kissed his forehead, the space between his eyebrows, the tip of his nose, the small triangle of soft skin under his eyes, his plush and cold lips.

“…Yuu…?”

Oh how much he missed his voice, even if it was just a hoarse squeak.

Even if only a day passed since they last saw each other, but to Yuu it seemed like an eternity. “I’m here Kou… I’m sorry I took so long…” the raven hunched over him, holding him tight in his hug.

Feeling Kouyou’s arms slowly reach around his neck made the older’s heart burst into a firework show, explosions of warm relief brighting him up from inside.

His cries of agony shifted to sobs of pure happiness, stroking Kouyou’s back with his fanned fingers. “Let’s get you out of here… Police is coming and the fuckers are going to get-” “Nnnh… d-don’t… move” Kouyou lamented, his face hiding against the older’s neck.

Only in that moment, Yuu noticed that the younger’s left leg was abandoned to its own weight, a dirty rag badly knotted around the calf, midway towards the knee. “It… hurts…” Kouyou whispered as he tightened the hold on the raven’s shoulders.

Delicately, Kouyou tried to move that injured leg, but his strength was nowhere to be found, the bleeding taking a toll on his body. “It’s broken?” Yuu asked, seeing the honey-blond shake his head. “S-Shot… Yuu they… have a gun… g-go away… plea-” a pair of lips abruptly silenced the younger’s croaking whispers.

Yuu kissed him harshly, but it wasn’t one of those kisses that lured Kouyou in a spiral of pleasure and passion, more than anything Kouyou felt desperate love in it.

He could feel the other’s hands tremble against his nape and behind his back, the honey-blond almost _heard_ Yuu’s heart thumping fast inside his chest.

And he would even feel more of his soft, warm lips, if it had not been for the numbness of the lack of blood. “Don’t fucking tell me to go away…” Yuu growled on the younger’s lips once they separated, his black and shiny irises watching directly inside the other’s soul. “They’re not taking _you_ away from me.” he added as he moved his arms again, passing one behind Kouyou’s back and one underneath his knees.

When the raven hoisted him up, Kouyou couldn’t do anything but poorly hinder a pained cry, sinking his face against Yuu’s throat. “I’m sorry doll… shhh, breathe.” the older spoke softer now, standing still a bunch of seconds before walking towards the exit of the cage.

He tilted slightly forward, trying to look at the traffickers outside, but before Yuu could move towards the other side, he felt a hard, cold pressure against the nape. “Mmmh, bad idea sweethearts.” Kamijo’s sultry voice made Yuu feel deep shivers of pure rage, but he stopped on his tracks while Kouyou held more onto him.

Kamijo chuckled, nudging Yuu’s head with the mouth of the gun, prodding through his inky locks. “You know, Mr. Meanie… I got stuck on a little thought since our last meeting.” the man spoke slowly, deliberately, moving his free hand to caress Yuu’s shoulder blades before sinking his nails against his flesh, through the t-shirt.

He forced the other to spin around, caressing his jaw with the gun while watching Kouyou’s frame tremble in the raven’s hold. “It’s been so many years, but when I see such a handsome face I hardly forget it…” Kamijo then grinned, putting a little of pressure with the gun underneath Yuu’s chin, making his head lean back.

Kouyou saw his ex-teacher chuckle, ogling at the raven. “Put my toy down, Mr. Shiroyama…” Yuji said and the honey-blond choked a pained moan, when he felt the raven’s hold shift into a iron grip.

“And maybe… I’ll be quick with reuniting you with your _petit ange_.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To get on the Emotional Rollercoaster™ you need to be this height, minimum.  
> No Taka, no exceptions.

Kouyou never felt such hasty change of emotions.

Seconds before he was -barely- feeling Yuu’s kisses all over his face, his warmth enveloping his shivering, cold, pained body and now he felt the older’s chest pulsating with the frenetic beating of his heart.

Time slowed down, while Kouyou felt the raven turn and when hazely eyes saw the mouth of the gun inches away from his own face… Kouyou trembled even more.

The same gun that killed his little sister, the same gun that put him in that sorry state.

Yuu had his jaw contracted as he never stopped looking at Kamijo with austere expression, his arms slightly holding the younger closer and almost ignoring the fact that he was at gunpoint.

Kouyou couldn’t see his eyes, but he could almost touch the electrical charge that was Yuu’s noncompliance. “C’mon, vite-vite! There’s no time to waste Mr. Shiroyama~” Kamijo chanted with a happy-go-lucky tone, fluttering the gun towards the raven. “On your knees… put him down.” the taller added, swishing back a lock of wavy chestnut hair.

The honey-blond felt the man’s muscles turn into stone, standing still with his back slightly arched. “Maybe I wasn’t clear enough…” Kamijo now growled and quick as a whip snap, the hand holding the gun crashed against the raven’s face.

Yuu’s entire stance shifted slightly to the left, as the raven’s head swung in the same direction, but his hold never faltered nor his voice never spoke.

Instead, Kouyou felt a drop of warm blood fell on him and the younger saw a wound opened in the lower-jaw area of the older.

Not a severe one, but his skin was slightly ripped open by the pistol-whipping. “On. Your. Knees.” Yuji hissed with his sweet personality now completely gone. “Please… please do it…!” Kouyou whispered, putting a palm on the now still forming bruise, scared that the man would rather let himself get killed.

Kamijo chuckled again, a harsh and raspy sound. “See? The boy is smart enough to understand!” he said pointing the gun at Yuu’s head again, now pressing its mouth on the other’s temple.

Again silence fell in the tunnel, the only sound caressing their ears coming from outside the mine, then the raven slowly lowered on one knee, then the other, carefully placing the younger on the gravelly ground.

Yuu had his body still rigid with anger, slightly hunched above Kouyou’s frame. “See? It was easy-” “P-please…!” Kouyou managed to speak louder, both his arms now closing around the older’s head. “Please don’t… don’t hurt him…!” he added, watching now the disbelief in Kamijo’s face.

But then disbelief turned into malice, as the taller grinned to them. “Oh Kouyou, if you speak like that I might even let him go~” he intoned, passing the weapon’s mouth from the older’s head to Kouyou’s soft cheek, squishing it lightly against his teeth. “Alas… he knows me and my humble profession, mon cher. I need to make him disappear.” he added, watching how the honey-blond’s large eyes trembled, shiny with tears.

Yuu’s arms detached from Kouyou’s body as he heard the younger trying to bargain the trafficker for his life, but no one saw his dark eyes twitch, watching a second pair of feet slowly sneaking behind Kamijo’s back.

The only thing Yuu needed now was freedom of movement. “Let me go…” the raven’s voice spoke soft and hot against Kouyou’s neck, pressing both his palms on the other’s chest.

Feeling the older’s starting to shift away from him, Kouyou panicked, trying to take a hold on him. “N-no!” he croaked.“ No… he’s gonna… he’s-” “I’ll be fine, Kou.” the man whispered again, his warm hands now rising to cuddle his face for a brief instant.

Kouyou fought with all the strength he had, trying to claw at Yuu’s shirt when he slowly backed off, now his bruised face looking up to Kamijo’s smiling one.

His whole body suddenly tensed up, his fingers closing and opening a couple of times. “I knew you were a good boy, Mr. Shiroyama.” the taller chirped, laughing softly.

His thumb pad caressed the back of the weapon’s hammer as he aligned the muzzle of the gun with Yuu’s forhead.

The gun’s hard metal pressed against the raven’s skin, almost digging into his muscles and in his bones. “Like father, like son.”.

After that sentence, Time became thicker as Kouyou saw Kamijo’s long finger starting to lightly press on the trigger.

Slower, slower, he could see his fingertip starting to lose color as more pressure was applied, but then something caught Kouyou’s gaze and the honey-blond felt his heart stop its beating.

He was one hundred percent _sure_ he already saw the black-and-white shoes right behind Kamijo’s, he _recognized_ the skull patch sewn on the left one.

In the span of a second, a long piece of wood moved in the now denser air of the mine and when Akira hit Kamijo’s back of the head, the taller pressed the trigger out of surprise before hunching forward, taking a hand on his now injured nape.

The roar of the weapon echoed in the mineshaft and for a brief moment, Kouyou went deaf.

His ears were ringing in the aftermath of the explosion and he could feel more blood trickling down on him.

Kouyou shifted his teary eyes up, expecting to feel Yuu’s body collapse on him, but it never happened.

Instead, he saw the older’s body shift quickly on his feet, taking his advantage to assault Kamijo and push him on the right. “TAKE HIM OUT!” Yuu’s shout arrived at Kouyou’s ears wrapped up in thick cotton.

It was a mess, the honey-blond couldn’t even understand what was happening: the older was gripping the trafficker’s armed hand by the wrist and Akira was leaning down, taking one of Kouyou’s arms to pass it above his shoulders, propping him up as much as he could.

And then, Kouyou felt himself trudge away from the fight, his best friend’s arm around the waist. “N-No… no wait… we… can’t leave him…!” he heaved and writhed as much as he could, trying to turn around and reach for Yuu.

Kouyou screamed as much as his throat permitted, calling the raven’s name while Akira tried to make him walk away, both of them plodding down the tunnel. “Aki no… p-please!” the tall teen started to cry, his voice breaking as he started to feel more and more weak.

His skin crawling with cold sweat and his lungs fluttering at every breath he took.

Even if Akira put all his might to try and calm his friend’s squirms, Kouyou had eyes only for his Aoi, his dark emperor that was now wrestling on the ground, giving and receiving fists and kicks.

The gun still in Kamijo’s hold, dangerously waving back and forth in that fight.

Yuu was gritting his teeth, trying to maintain mental lucidity while he got over Kamijo’s body, feeling his blows cut his breath every time he hit him in the stomach, against the ribcage.

Kouyou’s screams were sending shivers down his spine and the already bleeding wound on his scalp was starting to blind him with his own blood.

And Kamijo tried to take a hold of the gun, using both hands to take the grip, but the raven’s quick motions made the weapon fall on the ground, clattering away from his hands. “Fucking… die already!!” he shrieked in pure rage, using his hips’ muscles to reverse their positions.

Once on his back, Yuu felt the taller’s hands press against his trachea, cutting abruptly his air intake. “NOW!… eheh… Now we’re talking~” Kamijo exulted, feeling the other flounder underneath his knees. “Say bye-bye to… to your son for me…”. Kamijo snarly voice fell on Yuu’s now pulsating ears, while the shorter man gurgled in panic.

Both Yuu’s hands shot up to claw Kamijo’s wrists, then scratched up along his arms before reaching the other’s face, the raven’s dark eyes starting to roll inside his skull.

The lack of oxygen made his lungs burn and his muscles contract. “Oh shush mon cher… just… a little longer~” Yuji spoke with his now returned sugary tone, ignoring Yuu’s fingers meekly hold his throat.

The raven gasped for air without having none, feeling the pressure sending dangerous messages to his now foggy brain.

His feet started to slow down their motions, digging stripes on the ground with his heels while his back arched as much as it could to throw Kamijo off of him.

Yuu tried to push the taller backwards with his right palm against his neck, while the left was still gripping at Kamijo’s wrist, but nothing worked.

_“This is it”._

The raven’s body started to collapse on its own, his muscles all fired up and wriggling in the search of oxygen.

_“I’ll see you again…”._

His left arm fell flat on the ground while the right slowly slipped down Kamijo’s torso, his squinted eyes more and more blind now that black bubbles formed around his vision.

_“I’ll… be with you… I’ll…”._

**_“NO! AKI PLEASE!"_ **

### "YUU! YUU!!”

Far screams echoed along the mineshaft, sorry sobs and noisy pleas that jerked awake Yuu’s mind.

He wasn’t going to leave that easy, he wasn’t going to leave _him._

Yuu moved his left hand on the ground, snaking it painfully slow on the gravel while all his body started to convulse.

His organs were shutting down inside himself and Kamijo was too busy to watch the life draining away from the face of the raven to notice his shivering fingertips closing around a thick, cold object. “Die and go meet your boy, c’mon! You fucking resilient _salaud_ …!” Kamijo hissed between clenched teeth.

The taller man felt Yuu’s Adam’s apple move underneath his palms as he swallowed briefly, shining a pained smirk to him.

Then, the hold of Yuu’s fingers around his neck regained strength, blocking Kamijo in position.

Yuji didn’t even had the time to turn pale that the rare view down the barrel of his own gun exploded in a burst of flame: the gunpowder burned his skin, the bullet sank inside his flash and cracked his skull open.

It drilled a whole through his brain and, when it exited on the other side of his head, it took great part of his gray matter with it.

Blood splattered all over Yuu’s face and legs, his lungs sucking in air with voracity as soon as Kamijo’s hands lost their grip.

**BANG!**

A second shot exploded, making the very air vibrating.

**BANG!**

Then a third time, the flames of the shots lighting up Yuu’s raging eyes and new splashes of guts hitting his body.

**BANG!**

A rain of empty ammos fell around the raven, the slide continuing to jerk backwards at every gunshot.

 **BANG!** **BANG! **BANG! **BANG!****** _click click click click_

He squeezed the trigger until his ears finally caught up with the clicking sound of the empty magazine and in that moment only, Yuu regained a hold on himself.

“…Fuck…!” Yuu heaved while his right hand slammed the now twitching corpse of the other on the ground, seeing Kamijo’s face split open by the long series of shots it received.

He… he killed him.

Yuu never thought he could have the cold blood to kill someone, but in that brief moment, the sight of his son’s killer, minced on the ground to a bloody pulp… made his skin fill with goosebumps.

Silence was now everywhere, pressing on his ears after the thunderous river of noise that the weapon vomited in tunnel. “She’ll… take care… of you… for me, you fucker…!” Yuu coughed, panting to get more and more oxygen in his bloodstream.

Wobbly, Yuu stood up from Kamijo’s body, the gun’s scorching heat starting to warm up his numb fingers and blood covering his body in any place.

He felt disgusting, trying to deny the lingering happiness that revenge brought to him, and Yuu slowly turned his head to search for Kouyou.

The raven wanted to hug him again, kiss him again, listen to his voice and let his hands brush away all the blood, all the pain.

But as he tried to make a step away from Kamijo’s corpse, new type of screams stopped him on his tracks.

“GET DOWN!”

“PUT THE GUN DOWN!”

“ON YOUR KNEES!”

The police finally arrived, all of them were safe!

Yuu felt relief submerge him in a big wave, watching dark figures running inside the mineshaft. “…Finally guys-” “I SAID PUT THE GUN DOWN!” another policeman shouted at him, pointing him a fully-charged taser.

The roar confused Yuu, while he fearfully watched the sparks coming from the taser’s needles. “I… h-hey I’m not-!” he tried to speak with his aching throat, but as soon as he tried to rise both his hands, a harsh TLACK echoed in the tunnel.

Yuu didn’t even felt the prick of the needles in his chest, he only felt his whole body tense up and pain explode everywhere.

It was like falling inside a grinder and be aware of every single tendon of his body shatter and quiver.

He even tried to speak, to cry out, but his neck was so stiff he almost couldn’t breathe.

The raven’s ears were buzzing with the rhythmic sound of the electrical charge, when two officers came quickly near him, grabbing his motionless body to knock him down, chest on the ground.

Million of volts were hijacking his body and Yuu found himself astonished: he could still feel, see, hear.

Feel the spasm make his muscles ache like he was being battered from every direction.

See the policemen group around him, forcefully take his hands behind his back and plant a knee on his shoulder blades.

And Yuu thought his bones were going to poke out of his flesh, broken and mangled. “We have immobilized the suspect.” one spoke in his radio, blue and red lights shining inside the mine now.

Suddenly, he managed to recognize the policeman that removed both the taser’s needles off his pectorals: it was the guy that came after the fistfight with Mr. Matsumoto and he had a strange, little smirk on the lips. “Is it still shining, daddy?” he whispered to his ear.

 

> _“He might be with us no more, but his presence still shines.” the priest spoke with a slow, gentle tone while the raven finished to assemble some brand-new benches in the church.  
>  _ _The man in the black attire smiled apologetically, seeing the other closed inside a deep silence “The Lord will take good care of him”._

That sentence, in that lulling and silky voice, made Yuu’s mind set aflame, like finally open a long-forgotten door.

And soon as Yuu turned to watch the man with a knowing look, he saw the other’s grin widen. “Was… you… it… was…!” the raven gurgled, strain and rage closing his throat.

Yuu growled as he jerked towards officer Gackt, head-butting him hard on the forehead, but the other policemen forced him down. “Whoa, this guy’s savage. You okay Oshiro?” someone spoke behind the raven’s nape and Gackt only chuckled.

He massaged his forehead, standing up on his legs while holstering the taser on his hips. “Traffickers always are… take him away, I’m fine. I’ll check out the kids outside.”


	23. Chapter 23

### “YUU! YUU!!”

That scream came from deep within his soul, his throat giving up at the end of the man’s name and making him choke into a convulsing cough attack.

They were running away, despite all his efforts.

Akira panted while he held Kouyou up after his last shout, his arms wrapped tight around his waist. “Please let… let me… go, Aki…” the honey-blond stuttered, face now covered in tears.

Kouyou weakly dug the dirt with his heels, groaning in both anguish and pain, while Akira tried to make him walk towards the end of that smaller tunnel. “P-please… I can’t… let him… d-die…!” the taller was trembling, sinking his bony fingers in his friend’s forearms.

His last image of Yuu was him surmounted by Kamijo, his legs kicking the air in visible distress. “He… he’s killing him!” Kouyou croaked again and Akira sighed, feeling the anxiety rise against his chest. “Listen, Kou…” he whispered, hugging his shoulders from behind. “I promised the guy I was taking you out and I promise you I’ll be back for him too, ok?” Akira’s voice spoke softly, his ambery eyes now fixated on the ground in front of them.

He felt so feeble and Akira felt so horrible in noticing the sickly-looking hues of his skin.

“There’s the police outside… your mom, your dad and Satsu too… You need to let me take you out of here…” the blond tried to smile, but it was hurting him so much hearing Kouyou starting to breath unevenly, his whole body shaking.

The shorter’s brows frowned, as Kouyou stubbornly shook his head, but the force the taller had in his body seemed to falter “C’mon Kou… Pleas-” **BANG!**

A harsh explosion came from a couple of corners away from their position and both the teens tensed up, hunching statues in the now thicker silence after the gunshot.

**BANG!**

**BANG! BANG!**

Three, six, eight more firing sounds shook the boys, making the air vibrate, the echo jumping from one rocky wall to the other.

It wrapped them, crushing them with the realization of what just happened.

And with every shot they heard, Kouyou felt his heart shrinking more and more, drowning inside his own chest. “No… no God please no…!” the honey-blond heaved, panic fogging his mind: he managed to slip out the hold of a very astonished Akira and made a couple of limping steps forward.

Kouyou was already traveling with his mind, agitation making his pupils contract painfully.

He can’t… he can’t be dead, he can’t!

Suddenly, though, a new fit of pain passed through him like a spear, yanking a strangled wail from his dry throat..

His left leg gave out a snappy sound and Kouyou fell on the ground again, the lower half of his calf slanted upwards.

White bone slightly poking at the pale flesh, without rupturing the skin. “Oh fuck Kou…!” Akira spoke as he immediately ran near his friend.

Blood was oozing out of his gunshot injury like a waterfall, the dirty rag around it completely soaked red. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Akira could only whisper under his breath, his palms shaking while pressing on it.

It was his first time dealing with such wounds and the shorter of the two felt nausea rise at the mouth of his stomach when his hands got completely covered in hot, almost viscous liquid.

Kouyou’s pain slowly faded in the back of his mind, an unusual coldness now clawing at his body, squeezing the air out of his lungs.

The physical pain mixed with the emotional one when the eyes of his imagination saw Yuu’s corpse, bloody and riddled on the hard ground of the mine.

His black, sharp eyes that loved him with every shine they had… were they dull and lifeless now?

His lips always stretched in that side-smirk, the lips that Kouyou adored to kiss and be kissed by… were now hard and pale like stone?

“No… no please…” Kouyou lamented, his hazel eyes dripping tear after tear to the imagery he was torturing himself with.

Yuu was dead.

His handsome, wonderful, sweet emperor was no more, killed because of him.

Because Kouyou couldn’t protect himself like a fool.

The honey-blond slowly felt his senses going numb, the only thing he could notice was Akira trying desperately to block the blood flow while talking to him.

Kouyou didn’t even heard the paramedics calling for their names together with their parents’ voices, as he fell on his side completely devastated.

His mind was revolting against its own, suffocating every input into nothingness. “We’re here!” Akira shouted, his snappy voice tinted with fear.

New steps came jogging towards them and a couple of nurses knelt near them, asking the blond teen to gently step aside. “The femoral artery might have been severed, take him to the stretcher!” one of them spoke feverishly.

One of the EMT staff around him quickly took the boy in his arms, helped by the colleague, and they started to ran back towards the entrance of the mine.

Kouyou was going into hyperventilation, his body strenuously trying to save him from the now massive loss of blood, but his half-lidded eyes noticed the big, black, plasticky bag that the police put on the body laying on the ground.

In the teen’s mind that was Yuu, with his blood mixing with the dirt underneath everyone’s feet into a dark slosh, infecting everything with its reddish color.

Oh how he would’ve liked to caress his face one last time…

The boy weakly tried to stretch his hand towards the dark bag, his arm falling limp like someone switched every of his strengths off.

The honey-blond promised himself to close his eyes for just a couple of seconds, heaving as his skin tingled.

Like when you sleep on your arm and you can’t feel it anymore as you wake up… only, in your whole body. “Y-Yuu…!” he hissed meekly, feeling nauseous for the rocking movement of the paramedic holding him.

“KOU! Darling can you hear me??” his mother caressed his face, her smile circled with tears, but the boy didn’t even have the strength to look up to her.

His mind was drifting away, falling into darkness in the same soft way the EMT staff placed him on the stretcher and then loading him in the back of the ambulance.

Kouyou couldn’t see Takanori jumping at Akira’s neck, almost crying to see his lover safe, nor Yutaka ask the paramedics if the three of them could follow their friends inside the vehicle.

He couldn’t see his parents holding Satsuki in their arms, taking her into their car so they all could drive behind the ambulance.

He couldn’t hear the thick-accented shouts of Yuu, fighting against the policemen forcing him in the back of their car. “ **YE DON’T FECKIN' KIN!! I’M NAE A BODY AY THEM!** ” he was yelling, his hands handcuffed behind his back. “ **LIT ME SEE HEEM!! LIT ME SEE HEEM!! KOU!** ”.

The only thing Kouyou heard was the high-pitched siren of the ambulance that slowly, very slowly faded into the nothingness of his unconsciousness.

 

] [] [] [] [

 

The first feeling the honey-blond managed to recognize, an infinite amount of time later, was the cottony pressure on his face.

It didn’t hurt, not a lot at least, and for that Kouyou was happy.

Then, he took in a deep breath and noticed that the air was fresh, dry and filled to the brim with the scent of disinfectant.

There wasn’t a single hint of blood or the overwhelming humid odor typical of the bowels of the earth.

Sluggishly, the teen opened the uncovered eye he had left, seeing all white around him.

White ceiling, white walls and furniture, white covers and white fog forming in the lower part of his peripheral vision.

Only later he understood it was a oxygen mask, clouding up at every of his warm breaths.

He was alone in that room, a couple of empty chairs near his bed were the only traces that someone had been there, near him.

Soft beeps came from a little screen up above his head, where his heart was being constantly monitored.

Closing his eye again, Kouyou tried to regain all the scattered pieces of his memories: he was in a hospital, of course he was after all that happened.

He was safe, finally away from that horrible mine and those horrible people that-

Kouyou’s mind stopped, as he remembered he lost a sister.

_Mistu was gone._

Kouyou’s stomach twitched deep inside his torso, because of the boy’s imagination running a thousand miles per hour.

_Killed._

The teen’s eyes enlarged, feeling his own tongue contracting inside his watering mouth. _  
_

_Chopped up._

His body quivered at the mental image, at the _memories_ of his little sister gasping and gurgling in her last moments.

_Shipped away like common, minced meat._

As quick as he could, Kouyou’s trembling hands shot up and his bony fingers fought against the elastic that held the oxygen mask on his face, before his tired muscles convulsed him on one side.

Gripping harshly at the metal bars around the hospital bed, Kouyou felt his throat burn and hurt at the retching he couldn’t stop.

Saliva and gastric juices fell on the ground, transparent and bubbly.

Whimpers fell out of his mouth, choking at every empty gag he made.

His sister wasn’t the only child killed, the only one that lost her life. “… _Yuu_ …” that weep bubbled up from Kouyou’s throat without that he could even think about speaking his name.

A hard, heavy bundle formed in his chest, sending his heart thumping against his ribcage.

He was dead… and it was all his fault.

Tears grouped at the edge of his closed eyes, burning their way down his cheeks and getting soaked up by the bandage on his left eye.

It had to be a nightmare, it had to be.

Kouyou _hoped_ he was sleeping on the school bus, the First Grade class on its way home with mr. Kamijo smiling affectionately at the bunch of kids.

The teen hoped _so hard_ he was going to wake up and find himself in the parking lot of the school, his wonderful melancholic emperor looking at him through the window.

Instead, Kouyou only saw his face in the dark of the makeshift cage, smiling at him with his handsome face stretched into a relieved smile.

Again and again, the honey-blond heard his low voice whisper comforting hushes into his ears, caressing him so tenderly.

And he lost him.

And he lost all of him.

Another retch pierced Kouyou’s throat, his palms shaking for how much strength he was using to keep himself up from the mattress. “Kouyou! Oh darling…!” his mother’s voice came from the door, before her steps fastened.

She reached his son’s face, softly brushing away his hair and grabbing one of the tissues on the nightstand to clean her boy’s lips. “M-Mom…!” Kouyou called completely heartbroken, reaching for the woman with a quavering hand.

Mrs. Takashima wrapped her arms around her son, cuddling him and feeling her heart throb painfully when the honey-blond sank his fingers in her clothes.

Kouyou cried hard, so hard he though he was going to die then and there.

His wails echoed in the emptiness of the hospital room, barely muffled by his mother’s body. “I… I’m here darling… you’re going to be ok…” Mrs. Takashima spoke, her eyes shiny with held-back tears.

She didn’t heard Kouyou cry like that since he was just a little kid, when their dear dog died of old age. “Th-they… they’re… dead…! All… dead…!” he moaned, his legs slowly curling up under the cover.

It took Mrs. Takashima at least half an hour to make her son calm down, transforming his yowling, raspy voice into heavy sniffles and only there, she noticed the little unmoving group near the door.

Kouyou’s friends were there, together with his dad and his remaining sister. “Darling… look who’s here…” Mrs. Takashima spoke softly, her hands cradling the teenager like he was back being a disheartened toddler.

Sniffling again, Kouyou trembled while turning his head towards the door, noticing all the people that he loved and cared… minus two. “Hey, Shimmy-pants…” Akira tried to smile at him, but his expression couldn’t warm up the gloomy light in his eyes.

The honey-blond slowly opened and closed his fingers in a little greeting to his friends, hiccuping a couple of times in the meantime.

Yutaka smiled even brighter, showing him the little package he was holding against the chest. “Are you ready for the ton of get-well-soon gifts?” the boy tried to cheer the other up, seeing his eyes almost searching among them.

Takanori made a step forward, when he noticed Kouyou was still convulsing in suffocated sobs. “Kou… hey, it’s… not…” the shorter spoke, looking up at the boy’s mother before chewing his lips, nervously. “Can we speak with Kouyou just a little bit?” the brunet asked, seeing the woman look back at him with a confused.

Mrs. Takashima sighed, caressing one last time Kouyou’s head before stilling with her palm on the side of her boy’s face. “You can speak with me here, you know?” she tried to joke, but her tone was slightly harsher than the usual.

Akira swallowed, before he looked down at his lover. “Taka, it’s better if we wai-” “Kou, he’s alive.” Takanori blurted out, watching dead-serious his friend.

Only that little sentence made the boy stir in his mother’s arms, his eyes enlarging with shock. “ _What…?_ ” his voice hoarse and tired. “He’s fine… police has him, but he’s fine.” Takanori made a small, sympathetic smile at the taller.

Kouyou, hearing the news, started to move even more, breathing in more and more of the aseptic air of the hospital. “Are you talking about that man?” Mrs. Takashima almost barked at the younger, her arms pressing hard on her son.

Takanori didn’t move, but Akira knew very well the woman was starting to get angry.

_He was alive!_

Kouyou never thought he was going to feel so happy again, after the hurt he was basking in only minutes before.

“It’s better if you boys go home now-” “W-where… is he?” Kouyou interrupted his mother, looking at his tiny group of friends and seeing their faces starting to open in more sincere smiles.

Everyone but Akira was smiling, his eyes anxious. “They’re holding him up, but we all spoke with a officer yesterday and maybe they’re releasing him.” Takanori spoke again, ignoring the stabs Kouyou’s mother sent to his directions.

And while Kouyou seemed to resuscitate from his deep anguish, the woman narrowed his eyes. “That man will _never_ put his hands on my son _again_ , do you hear me??” she hissed out of anger, making the teens froze on their places.

Kouyou turned up his head, watching his mother’s tensed face. “Police found horrible things in his home, officer Gackt came here appositely to warn me about it, this morning!” Mrs. Takashima spoke again, feeling her son tense up in her arms. “All the things he did were to make you like him! So he could… make disgusting thing to you, darling…!” the woman now talked directly to Kouyou, seeing the fear dampen his eyes.

“You don’t ever, ever thing about that man again, dear.”

_No._

“He’s going to go to jail… a-and I hope he gets death penalty for what he has done!”

_No, no, no!_

It was all going better!

Why this was going downhill so quickly??

Kouyou pressed his hands against his mother’s shoulders, separating from her suffocating hold. “O-officer Gackt… H-he’s… he was there…!” the honey-blond spoke, trembling, turning to watch at his friends. “He was… there! With Mr. Kamijo! He was… together with him!! He wanted to kill me!” he started to thrash in the bed, the beep of his dancing heart filling the room.

He saw their shocked expressions, but more he saw the disappointed look on his father’s face… then the angry one of his mother. “You’re delusional, Kouyou. Officer Gackt was there to protect you! He captured that vicious, vicious man and saved you!”

All of that… was unreal.

Kouyou didn’t want to believe.

“That… killer! You should thank officer Gackt instead of pinning the blame on him!” Mrs. Takashima grabbed Kouyou’s arms, making him lay on the bed. “Now… he told me you would react like this, Kou… please, hear me out.”

Kouyou didn’t want to hear her out.

Kouyou didn’t want to hear what _grooming_ was or what that bastard said to his mother to make her hate Yuu with all her guts.

Kouyou only wanted to hug him tight and never let go, but…

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra-long chapter! And we're slowly reaching the end, hold on everyone!

 

> _Clink-clink, clink-clink._

The chime of chains around his ankle was muffled in the almost decade-old video.

In the dark room, the faint light of the monitor sent soft shadows on the bare, pale walls.

 

> _“All rise, please.”_  
>  _The shuffling of clothes and feet while all the few presents stands up._  
>  _“Sit down, thank you. Presides the honorable Judge Hide-” “Thank you, officer. I can handle it from here.”_  
>  _The judge looked austere, from his elevated seat.  
>  _ _“Prosecutor, this is the matter of the State of Utah_ _versus Shiroyama Yuu, is that correct?”.  
>  _ _A well-dressed attorney stood up from his seat, nodding. “Yes, sir.” he replied quickly._

**►► Fast-forward**

Trembling fingers remained on the button while hazel, sharp and cold eyes watched the video speed-up.

People moving up and down, speaking and gesticulating while a bright, orange stain remained fixed.

**▌▌ Pause**

The images stilled and on the screen appeared, smudged, the scared face of Yuu, his disheveled hair falling around his face.

The same, bony fingers rose from the keyboard and slowly caressed the cold monitor, fingertips pressing hard on the glass to try and erase the confused creases that interrupted the man’s face.

**► Play**

 

> _“I have no further questions.” the prosecutor said sternly, nodding to the Judge.  
>  _ _“Thank you, Mr. Shiroyama. You may step dow-” “I did nothing wrong!” the raven heaved, panicked, but as soon as the policeman walked to him, he walked with him to his seat.  
>  _ _“I have another witness, your Honor.” the prosecutor spoke again “Officer Gackt Oshiro, you can step up.”–_

**►► Fast-forward**

Again, the now more mature hands skipped a good chunk of the video, hazel eyes watching back and forth.

Observing.

Studying.

He already knew what the attorneys said, it was all black-on-white on the court transcripts.

The small embers of a lit-up cigarette traveled in the air, their light increasing in intensity when plush lips took a long, pensive drag.

**► Play**

 

> _“The accused is unanimously found guilty of the following crimes: kidnapping of more than one minor, murder of Kamijo Yuji and illegal human trafficking. It’s a big bite to swallow, Mr. Shiroyama.” the Judge watched down at the raven, looking his face paling even more.  
>  _ _“The appeal will be eventually agreed with the defendant of the accused-” “I’m not guilty!! Please fucking listen to me!” Yuu suddenly shouted, his voice strained with both fear and anger.  
>  _ _“Officers, took him out.” the judge dismissed the court with a wave of his hand._

**■ Stop**

A long exhaled fogged the screen with smoke, then the white arrow of the mouse glided across the monitor to click the bright, red X at the top-right corner.

The brightness of the folder blinded him for an instant, before the same bland pointer slid down, double-clicking on the next file.

_SY_Appeal_01_

While he waited for the video to launch and start, he snatched his cellphone, scrolling down the four un-answered messages popped on the screen.

_[ **Akira** – Hey man! Me + Taka going out Sat morn. Gonna pass by 2 c if u straved urself 2 death u dumb shit ☺ ☺ ☺]_

_[ **Wit01** – Hello, Mr. Takashima. I might be busy with work but your proposal is well received. Please text me your office’s address and I’ll pass around noon tomorrow.]_

_[ **Dumpling** – I don’t know if mom will let me… but I can try, ok? I missed you]_

_[ **Mom** – Dear, I know it’s been a while since we spoke, but can’t you come home for the holiday?]_

Kouyou sighed at the last message, massaging his forehead with his fingertips.

Of course he missed home, missed the big fields and the mountain air and his dearest Hellion, but…

Last time he spoke with his mother he vomited harsh, angry words, so resentful he just didn’t show up to his home.

At first it was because of his pride.

Then it became because of shame.

 

> _“WHY YOU DON’T JUST LISTEN TO ME!”_  
>  He shouted, his throat closing around his vocal chords “I’m not fucking dumb! He wasn’t GROOMING me into submission! He wasn't TAKING ADVANTAGE of me! I WAS THE FUCKING ONE STARTING IT! I’m FUCKING TIRED of hearing the SAME. FUCKING. STORY! I HATE YOU FOR BELIEVING THAT FUCKER INSTEAD OF ME!”  
>  He never thought his voice could grow so cold, so… furious, comparable only to Yuu's.  
>  Kouyou didn’t even feel a pinch of displeasure when she saw his mother with teary eyes, trying to calm down his twenty-one old self.  
>  “Darling, plea-” “FUCK YOU AND YOUR DARLING! You don’t even IMAGINE what the fuck I PASSED THERE! I SAY THAT YUU SAVED MY FUCKING LIFE AND YOU GO Awwww Kouyou you’re delusional-NO! I’M NOT DELUSIONAL! I’M FUCKING SAYING THE FUCKING TRUTH!”.

That day, he grabbed all of his belongings and left for the nearest Law school he managed to get himself into, after years of studying non-stop to get accepted into one.

All because the first time he heard in television Yuu was processed as guilty by Utah State, he lost his mind.

He looked how the defending attorney tried to agreed multiple appeals, but every time he was… inconclusive, at best.

And Kouyou thought it was time for him to step up and do what the _fucking adults_ couldn’t do, gambling with himself one, last time.

So the honey-blond worked his ass on the books day and night, falling back with the normal schedule of a human, forgetting to eat and forcing himself to stay up all night.

He would probably finish in the hospital if Akira didn’t hunt him down and force him to eat and sleep once in a while.

Kouyou was dead-set onto getting that degree as soon as possible, piling one scholarship after the other and frantically climbing to his goal.

He felt time ticking quickly, inexorably, stealing the very ground under his feet.

And at every snap of the clock hands since Yuu’s ultimate appeal, Kouyou felt pressured: his handsome raven, his emperor, was sentenced to death by lethal injection as per Utah laws.

The date for the execution was never agreed so Kouyou worked, studied, stressed himself out everyday, forcing those same clock hands to move faster for him and slower for Yuu.

 

> _“Please all rise, presides the honorable Judge Hide.”_

The now clearer audio made his hazel eyes snap off the cellphone and into the computer screen.

He skipped through the same kind of speech, watching a different prosecutor speaking and moving her hands while explaining boring things to the bored-to-death court.

**▌▌ Pause**

Again the orange stain on the video took the figure of Yuu, now more hunched forward and his face devoid of any kind of dread.

His eyes were still glinting with fire, anger seething inside him like low flames, and Kouyou sighed again, taking a new drag from his still lit cigarette.

**► Play**

He listened to the witnesses the State had, then he heard Yuu’s lawyer spoke without even _trying_ to really defend the man.

**►► Fast-forward  
**

**► Play**

Another witness, Officer Gackt repeating the same shit again, showing what they found in Yuu’s home back at Kouyou’s hometown, indicating it to be the plan of a criminal mastermind.

**►► Fast-forward  
**

**► Play**

**►► Fast-forward  
**

**■ Stop**

Change of video, this time called _SY_Appeal_02._

It was all in the normal process of the last two trials, same witnesses, same proofs, same gab with different attorneys.

Kouyou skipped to the last part of the video, breathing in a puff of smoke before crushing the cigarette down in the ashtray.

**► Play**

 

> _“Enough for today, we’ll discuss another potential appeal in a week. This case is starting to rub off on me” the judge sighed, standing up.  
>  __Officer Gackt got down the witness stand and slowly walked down the aisle towards the prosecutor’s table.  
>  __He was giving the back to the video-camera and seemed to be peacefully standing up together with the other presents, when suddenly, Yuu stood up from the chair and attacked the policeman.  
>  __He viciously tried to punch Gackt in the face, swinging his handcuffed hands and trying to take a hold of the other’s neck._  
>  Officers swarmed around them, immediately stopping the raven-haired man.

Kouyou’s heart felt a painful pang as he saw Yuu being restricted with his face pressed on the ground and his body violently shaking in a mere tentative to free himself.

Why did he acted like that?

He could’ve been treated better in the next appeal, maybe he would have a reduction of the punishment for good behavior, if he didn’t–

Suddenly, something clicked inside Kouyou’s brain.

**◄◄ Rewind**

He watched closely, hunching towards the screen and narrowing his eyes behind his thick-rimmed glasses.

 

> _Officer Gackt got down the witness stand and slowly walked down the aisle towards the prosecutor’s table.  
>  _ _His face seemed serious as an officer would be during a trial, but his dark eyes slid towards the raven for a brief moment.  
>  _ _He was giving the back to the video-camera and seemed to be peacefully standing up together with the other presents, when suddenly, Yuu stood up from the chair and attacked the policeman._

**◄◄ Rewind**

 

> _Yuu was watching the policeman walk, his head slowly turning while his body posture was still hunched towards the table he was sitting at.  
>  _ _Gackt was giving the back to the video-camera and seemed to be peacefully standing up together with the other presents.  
>  _ _Suddenly, Yuu’s eyes enlarged with rage before he stood up from the chair and attacked the policeman._

**◄◄ Rewind** _  
_

 

> _Gackt’s back was towards the camera and both his hands were crossed in front of him, but immediately before Yuu’s attack, his head slightly turned towards the accused and both his arms moved.  
>  _ _It was barely noticing, and the majority of his hands were covered by his body, but it seemed like Gackt was-_

**▌▌ Pause**

Kouyou squinted in the dim light of the room, trying to decipher the moving pixels on the screen, rewinding frantically every couple of seconds.

Up. Left.

Up. Down. Left.

Left. Right.

Vertical, horizontal.

“What did he do to make you so angry, Yuu…?” the honey-blond muttered under his breath, taking the phone again.

Quickly, he tapped some responses while shutting his laptop down, rising from the chair with a tired groan.

_[ **To Akira** – U noseless idiot, I’m still alive LOL. Ok for Sat, lunch together? B3c]_

_[ **To Dumpling** – Thank you so much Satsu, I owe you one OTL Miss you too]_

_[ **To Wit01** – I’m ecstatic to meet with you, Dr. Andou. You will surely help my client. My office address is in the header in the .pdf file I attached. Again, thank you for your availability.]_

Kouyou sighed one last time, removing the t-shirt off his back and sitting down on his bed.

His eyes fixed on his mother’s text and his thumb trembled, hovering above the phone screen.

As Kouyou laid on his back, sinking in his mattress, he tapped a quick “ _I’m sorry._ ” and sent it without even hoping for a reply.

 

] [] [] [] [

 

Kouyou’s office was completely the opposite of his small, a little cluttered apartment.

It was a decent-sized room with white walls decorated with pictures of sister, his friends, some landscapes and all of his hard-earned degrees.

His desk, in cherry wood, was on the left side of the room, near a double-arched window.

From there, he could see the shiny, glossy skyscrapers of Salt Lake City and the far-away snowy mountains, spiring on them all like colossal, frothy waves.

On the other side of the room, in front of his desk, there were a couple of leathery armchairs, a short coffee table and two bookcases filled to the brim with big tomes of every kind.

A warm, thick carpet bridged the gap between the two sides of the office.

Kouyou always loved his office, loved to take in the view and make his hazel eyes roam beyond his glasses, beyond the windows.

Down the road, on his right and in the distance, where he knew the Utah State Prison was laying like a sleeping beast.

And also that day Kouyou let his eyes fly in the clear sky of June, one hand around a tiny, plastic coffee cup and the other deep holstered in his suit’s pocket.

He wore more suits than he ever did in all his life, having them in a good range of colors: black and dark-blues, dove grays and tan ones.

His young sister almost choked into a laugh when he jokingly said to her that he almost had every shade of gray in his wardrobe. “At least you don’t have _fifty shades_ of them!” she replied with a snort.

Kouyou never understood that pun and she never made sure to explain to him anyway.

_Knock-knock!_

At the stroke of midday, the man Kouyou was waiting for knocked at his door and with long strides the tall honey-blond went to let him in. “Dr. Andou, happy to see you.” Kouyou spoke with a professional, yet hushed tone, rising his head for a handshake. “Please, take a seat.” he then motioned his hand towards the armchairs.

Psychologist Daisuke Andou was very respected in his field of work, precise with his therapies and understanding with his patients. “I hope I wasn’t late, Mr. Takashima. Traffic was horrible today.” the dark-haired said to him while replying to the handshake, going then to sit down.

He had a dark briefcase, that the psychologist laid on the coffee table, near a bundle of neatly-stacked papers. “Your time is perfect, Dr. Andou. Thank you for finding time to help me with this case.” Kouyou smiled affably, taking the remaining armchair before grabbing the sheaf of papers. “If it’s not bothering you, I would like to start immediately. I fear both our schedules are both packed.” the blond added with an austere expression.

It was a little difficult for him to speak, since the psychologist really remembered to him a nicer, more posh version of Yuu, with his dark hair well-kept and sleek, his face clean from any kind of worry or tension.

Dr. Andou looked at Kouyou with a slight smirk, crossing his legs at the knee while leaning on one armrest. “Of course, Mr. Takashima. You spoke about a common client we have, right?” he asked softly and Kouyou nodded, rising his expressionless eyes. “Yes, indeed. Shiroyama Yuu, now in his late forties-” “Ahh, yes. I remember him. Shiroyama’s been under my care for quite some time, it’s a shame he fell into this… trouble, so to speak.” Daisuke interrupted Kouyou’s words nodding slowly.

The tall honey-blond swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing slightly before he could reprise his speech. “Yes, I would like to know more about him. What were you curing him for?” Kouyou darted his eyes on the other’s, almost dark as Yuu’s but not with the same, flickering flame.

The psychologist emitted a low hmmmm before he could clear his throat. “Well, I think you’re aware of the term PTSD, Mr. Takashima.” the man spoke with a soft, calming voice.

Kouyou asked himself if it was his natural tone or if it was because of his profession. “Mr. Shiroyama development of his post-traumatic stress disorder can’t be pin-pointed to a singular cause, but after all our therapy sessions I guessed the death of his wife ultimately kick-started it.” Dr. Andou took a slim, pale dossier, opening it before lending to Kouyou a sheet of paper.

There, Yuu’s photo flashed under his hazel eyes, his face serious as always, but slightly younger.

On the paper camped also well-written words like _depression_ , _self-blaming_ and _violent outbursts_. “He usually had nightmares and anger issues that we barely resolved through drug use.” the psychologist continued to speak while the attorney in front of him continued to scan the document with his hazel eyes.

The honey-blond nodded, letting the other finish talking, before he could start with his questions. “Shiroyama had ever attacked someone? Out of the blue, I mean.” Kouyou asked. “No, never. The only time he was aggressive was towards inanimate objects or, usually, himself.” the answer came seconds later.

Kouyou mentally ticked a box, scrolling down to his next question: “He had problems with religion?” “Not that I know, he was very much disinterested in it: he rarely spoke about religion anyway, negatively or positively.” another answer, making Kouyou’s brain start to make its gears work.

“Has he ever… showed any kind of hatred towards children? Or desire to hurt them?” Kouyou asked again, watching the dark-haired in front of him.

Daisuke huffed a little laugh, shaking his head. “Oh God no, never. Mr. Shiroyama would never harm a child in any way possible. Especially after what happened to his son.” he said, uncrossing his legs to just cross them again. “That’s what confused me, when I heard he got incarcerated with those accuses. I called his previous attorney but he said he didn’t need my help.”.

Kouyou furrowed his brows, slightly cocking his head to the side as he heard the other man speak. “What happened to his son?” he asked, placing the document down.

Nowhere he found previous documents about Yuu, that was the motive of his meeting with his psychologist… and he only managed to find his name after calling the man’s parents, back in Florida.

Daisuke’s dark eyes narrowed into the bittersweet smile that crept on his lips. “The same thing that happened to your other sister, Mr. Takashima…” the psychologist said slowly, watching the younger man in front of him stiffen on the armchair. “I couldn’t stop myself to make a little research on you before coming here. I’m really sorry for your loss, but I’m sure you understand what that type of grief can do to a human brain: it messes the receptors, throws off the chemical balances… Mr. Shiroyama had to ignore his problems to help his wife overcome her own, but then she took her life and that poor man finally broke enough to come talk to me.” the raven sighed, his face now seeming displeased. “He couldn’t harm a child even if he really wanted to. His brain would make him relive the loss of his son anyway.”

Kouyou’s jaw tightened, as quick flashes of ten years prior returned to his mind.

What Yuu felt while he tried to save him? Being in the very den of the wolves probably hurt him so much… “No.” Kouyou hoarsely spoke to the black-haired man. “No he coulnd’t… that’s why I’m here now.” his tone was hard, but his eyes determined. “Do you mind releasing a written declaration? It would really, really help me.” the honey-blond then unthreaded a paper from the stack on the table, lending it to the psychologist together with a pen.

Daisuke chuckled softly, grabbing everything with elegance in his every motions. “It’s my job, Mr. Takashima, helping people. It’s just a shame I can’t be in the courtroom as witness.” he mumbled with a meek smile and Kouyou tried to focus on the scratchy sound of the ball-point pen on the pen. “It’s fine, your words will be there black-on-white. You’ll manage to help us anyway.” the honey-blond spoke with a now softened tone.

 

] [] [] [] [

 

He worked hard, oh so hard.

And finally the day of a new appeal was galloping fast towards him, towards them.

In less than four hours, Kouyou would walk inside the courtroom and he would see the procurator unleash his usual blather, call officer Gackt again to show the same pictures and call Yuu a child molester.

This time, the attorney defending the raven had his own bunch of pictures.

Photos that he himself found in a dusty state library in Florida, after hours, days of researches in both archives and microfilms.

He had his own witnesses, too… one of them was really late. “Where the fuck is she…?” he mumbled worried, looking down at his watch while his foot tapped on the sidewalk.

Kouyou was now dressed in a charcoal suit and a white button-up shirt, his burgundy and silver tie loose around his neck and his straight back interrupted by a messenger’s bag.

Sunglasses covered his face from the harsh sun at the main bus station.

A light laugh came from near him and a big hand patted his shoulder blades. “Buses are late, you know it! Calm down Shima.” Akira spoke cheerfully as always.

The blond, buffer man was sporting a black button-up shirt like his friend, but instead of having a full-fledged suit on him, Akira’s torso was wrapped into a dove-gray vest, elegant trousers of the same color and a dark, plain tie.

He did have the sleeves rolled up to fight off the warmth of that sunny day and a sly smile on his face. “Yeah I know… but my mom doesn’t know she’s coming and I fear she might have stopped her-” “Naah, look, something’s coming.”

Kouyou rose his eyes from the wrist watch and looked at the long, silvery vehicle rolling towards them.

The bus slowed down in front of the bus stop’s sign and when the door opened, Kouyou’s anxiety eased up. “KOU~!” Satsuki chanted while hopping down the bus, tossing down a big bag on the sidewalk as soon as her feet touched the ground.

In a happy motion, she jumped into her brother’s chest to hug him tight, leaving a big kiss on his cheek. “Ahhh I missed you soooo much!!” she added with a smile, sinking her face into his neck. “You cut your hair, too! You look so good like this!”.

Kouyou immediately replied to the hug wrapping his arms around her slender figure, rocking on his feet left and right while he brushed her chestnut-colored hair. “I missed you too Satsu…” he mumbled as he closed his eyes for brief seconds.

She was completely wrapped in the scent of their home and that lightened the man’s heart.

It was so easy to forget what his hometown tasted like, smelled like.

Then a low chuckle interrupted the siblings. “Heyyyy I’m here too! I feel ignored.” Akira put up a fake frown while leaning down to take Satsuki’s baggage and in that moment the seventeen-years-old girl turned to look at the blond man. “Hiiii Akiiii~” she chanted leaving his brother’s hold.

She looked up and down at him a couple of times, as if she was studying him.“You’re barely handsome, all dressed up like that.” She smirked while Kouyou only giggled, shaking his head. “Taka already said that vests are my shit, you’re late sugarplums!” Akira replied without missing a beat.

It was heart-warming, seeing both his sister and his best friend bicker and jab at each other like that. “Hey, Satsu.” Kouyou called to her, glancing once again at the watch. “Are you ok with this?”.

Her smiling face faltered for a second, before she could nod rapidly. “I’m not a kid anymore Kou! I’ll be legally an adult in a couple of months top, so I can make my own decision, y’know??” Satsuki cheerfully spoke, while the three of them started to walk down the road.

The honey-blond rose a hand and fixed an untamed lock of her hair, a big grin on his face. “You’re still my dumpling!” he chuckled back, before breathing deeply. “But this… this means a lot, for me. Thank-” “Don’t even think about thanking me, Kou.” she suddenly blurted, silencing the honey-blond.

Akira watched his friend almost cower at the girl’s bark and for a moment, he couldn’t stop himself think he was still the shy Shimmy-pants he always knew.

Satsuki’s eyes were fixed onto her brother’s face, but her gaze was seeing even farer. “I still _remember_ … And I _know_ he got framed, so I’m happy if I can help you and…” her chocolate eyes swifted on her brother’s face. “And your _boyfrieeeenddd_ ~” the teenager prodded at the taller with a finger right in his side.

Kouyou’s body reacted immediately, springing away from the touch while his usually pale face flamed up.

And Akira was just bursting into a fit of loud laughs. “H-Hey!! Stop it!” the taller lamented all while Satsuki continued to tickle him at random moments. “I’ll ban you from my PS5!” Kouyou threatened. “Nnnnoooo I need to finish that game, c’monnnn!” the girl pleaded.

The trio walked down like that until their eyes met with the menacing, gray form of the State Court. “Let’s go over the process again, ok?” Kouyou’s voice lowered, his mind switching into a more serious mind-set as he watched around.

The police assured him they would take _his client_ in the courtroom as always, but Kouyou was slowly becoming more and more antsy.

Suddenly, his eyes locked up with an orange stain, in the edge of his vision.

He was there.

Yuu was there.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Panting heavily* I couldn't do it.  
> I had to divide this second-last chapter into two TTvTT Toooo much things to writeeeee!

The first year was the worst.

In and out of the prison to be present to the appeals, hearing lies upon lies.

He tried to be calm and collected, like his attorney asked him to do, but the more time passed, the more he started to feel the hit of withdrawal.

Yuu asked almost everyday to the warders to be taken in the infirmary of the prison, that he _needed_ those pills, but they only laughed in his face and continued on their rounds.

Nightmares started to reappear and he passed all of his nights up, reducing himself into a panting bundle in the corner of the cell.

During the day, he walked like a leper among killers and thieves, feeling their eyes stabbing his soul at every lunch and every dinner.

Multiple times Yuu had to defend himself from a hidden knife or from makeshift metal knuckles, finishing up in full-fledged fights that the warders had to interrupt with batons and brute force.

Child molesters were not seen well in prison and his protests did nothing to the other prisoners, they didn’t want to hear his “I’m not a fucking child molester!”.

The stench of the prison was nothing, compared to the iron-like taste of blood that came out again from the depths of his mind: every flashback was like a blow in the stomach, making him fall on his knees and wheezing hoarsely.

Every image overlapped on the other in front of his eyes, his wife dying, his son’s corpse… and now the limp body of Kouyou on the stretcher, the last time he ever saw him.

Year after year, his mental state drastically plummeted, fogging his logic with noise, static of both fear and rage.

It was around his last appeal that Yuu finally gave in to his constant anger, to his pressing inner turmoil.

He didn’t hold back when he saw Officer Gackt unite both index and medium finger to make a sign of the cross towards him, grinning to him as if the man was speaking to his soul.

> _“Is still shining, daddy?”_

He fought every man that wanted a piece of him, breaking his knuckles and countless jaws and noses, feeling his bones crack and patch up back again.

Yuu couldn’t care less of the physical wounds anymore, his skin peppered with new scars, he just wanted to make the anger subside.

Just wanted the release he desperately needed, craved… but never reached.

In that way, Yuu barely survived in the Utah State Prison, in the isolation cell that the warders throw him into.

“Four-thousand-twenty-seven”

He couldn’t blame them, he almost killed his cell-mate with his bare hands years ago.

“Four-thousand-twenty-eight”

He just curled up inside it, in the dark and in the dampness.

“Four-thousand-twenty-nine”

Finding himself counting the seconds that passed, again and again, trying to ignore the voices in his ears and the shaking of his hands.

“Four-thousand-thirty”

One day a warder will come and take him away to the execution chamber, he just had to wait.

“Four-thousand-thirty-one”

Yuu’s cluttered mind thought if _she_ would be jealous of Kouyou, when they all will be reunited on the Other Side.

Was she happy to meet the gentle, shy, honey-blond kid?

After all, he probably died in that ambulance… he was too weak, he lost too much blood, he couldn’t survive despite all his efforts.

Yuu noticed his hands closed tight at the stray image of Kouyou’s battered face, his lips parted as he painfully moaned his name.

“Four-thousand-thirty-tw–” “Shiroyama, get up you mumbling fuck.” the spiteful voice came from the little window on the cell door and Yuu stopped his rambling numbers, watching up.

It was a new guy, he noticed.

Not a warder but a police officer. “C’mon, I need to take you to the courtroom again… they should stop trying to free this motherfucker.” the policeman spoke to himself while opening the door.

Yuu slowly stood up, his wrists loosely held together by a chain since the last time he attacked someone and watching the officer in the eyes he remained motionless.

His shoulders arched forward, his gaze fixed on the man walking to him with a fumble of keys.

Passively, he let the man tie a leathery, muzzle-like mask on his face, to save everyone’s fingers from a probable bite or two. “If also this appeal fucking fails -and I hope it fails, for God’s sake- you’ll directly go to the damned execution chamber.” the policeman spoke with a grin on his face, while pushing the prisoner out of his cell. “Take in all the fresh air you want, before you fucking snuff it.”.

Yuu remained silent, a ticking bomb that would explode at any time.

He ignored all the other inmates sending insults and shouts at him while he walked towards the exit, the orange jumper cascading on his body like a drape.

Appetite wasn’t too common when you had to fight for your life instead of eating calmly, but he didn’t care if he lost weight.

He still had fire in him, a subdue flame that made each and every police officer fear him.

And he snickered, seeing them act all tough and crude around him, when he _knew_ they were shitting themselves in the pure dread that Yuu’s black gaze instilled in them.

The raven got shoved in the back of a prisoner transfer van and in there he waited patiently for that hour-long journey to stop in front of the State Court.

And finally, when they reached their goal, the officers escorting him made him jump off the vehicle, immediately grabbing him by his arms.

Yuu walked slowly, deliberately like a panther in the underbrush, his now longer, tangled hair dangling in front of his paler face.

Once in the courtroom, he mutely observed all the people present: as always he looked up to the defense table, but instead of seeing his balding attorney, he saw another man with blond hair cut into a angular, irregular, short cut.

Yuu’s inquisitive gaze didn’t fazed his new attorney, that remained sat with his eyes fixed on the papers in his hands. “Sit down and try not to maim this motherfucker.” the officer spoke in the raven’s ear, chaining him to the table before leaving to stand near the door.

Once alone, Yuu leaned forward, curiosity asking him to at least see what his defender looked like… but when he saw the attorney’s face, his heart thumped hard in his chest.

_…Kouyou?_

No.

No, no it was impossible.

Sure that was the face Yuu always plastered on a grown-up version of the shy, gentle kid, but that was beyond the possible.

Probably the guy only looked like him and the raven’s poor, scrambled mind put features where they weren’t.

After all, if that man really was Kouyou, he would’ve turned and shine a grin to him.

Or reach down for his chained hands, intertwining their fingers in a soothing hold.

Instead, the blond did nothing, almost ignoring him until one of the officers asked those present to get on their feet.

“All rise, please, presides Judge Hide.”

Yuu flashed his eyes up, circled by dark bags, and watched while the judge motioned everyone to sit down.

He _hated_ the man’s guts, with his snooty expression and the dramatic inflexion of his voice every time he replied to the attorneys. “Again with you, Mr. Shiroyama… let’s see if there’s something different today. I see you have a new attorney-” “Yes, your Honor.” the blond man stood up from the chair.

That low, velvety voice… was really Kouyou’s?

He really grew up to be so cold and apathetic?

Or was Yuu’s brain wanting _so hard_ for the boy to alive?

The raven watched as his new attorney walked towards the seat of the judge, shoulders straight and the deportment of a king among his subjects. “Tell me you have new witnesses or some stronger evidence for Mr. Shiroyama…” the judge spoke almost bored. “It’s been years now and I always hear the same thing-” “Don’t worry, your Honor, I highly value both you and the court’s time.” The blond spoke, rising a dossier for the judge to read.

Hide rose an eyebrow, evaluating the attorney’s figure for a split second, before grabbing the file and starting to scan the words written on it. “Since it’s been some time since the last appeal, I’ll let the Defense call for its witnesses. Please, continue.” the judge spoke, waving a hand in the air.

The honey-blond attorney nodded and turned on his heels: Yuu saw his face fully now, his hazel eyes devoid of light, his lips tensed shut and his distant expression, his broader chest and his elegant steps.

He wanted to badly to lean forward, rise his hands and grab his white collar, screaming into his face to see if the fear on this man’s visage would match with the last image he had of Kouyou’s sweet, frightened face.

When his new attorney reached their table again, he tried to move his hands and grab his wrist around the cuff of his shirt.

_Look at me._

The lawyer stood motionless, his eyes darting down for a moment to watch where Yuu still squeezed him.

_FUCKING LOOK AT ME!_

Then, the honey-blond moved his irises away without even look at Yuu’s petrifying gaze. “Please let me do my work, Mr. Shiroyama.” he mumbled under his breath, before freeing himself from the hold.

The attorney’s tug was strong and precise and that made Yuu’s heart go numb again: of course he wasn’t Kouyou.

_Of course_ he wasn’t, he was too glacial and old to be his naive, lanky boy.

His delicate, yet masculine face was only a product of the raven’s unleashed imagination.

The man was probably in his mid-thirties, for sure…

Years in isolation could really mess your brain up, didn’t they? “My first witness, your Honor, is Suzuki Akira. He was present at the time of the crime ten years ago.” the blond spoke as he took another paper off the table.

Yuu’s wrists shook and with it came the chime of the chains binding him.

_What?_

 

] [] [] [] [

 

_“Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck…!”_

That was the cycling word in his brain, since the instant Yuu sat down near him.

Kouyou waited for that moment for ten, desperate years, but now that he was there he needed to act like he didn’t knew him, he had to fake and maintain the professional façade that he built around himself in the last year.

He had to free Yuu and that needed to be done without a smidgen of doubt.

And it was for sheer luck that Yuu grabbed him on his clothes, because even if the honey-blond’s face remained emotionless, Kouyou’s body surely responded too well and too quickly for his likings.

Kouyou felt a wave of goosebumps traverse his body, the instinct praying him to lean down and kiss his lips as hard as he could.

“Please let me do my work, Mr. Shiroyama.” he mumbled with his heart beating at the end of his throat and Kouyou focused his gaze on Akira, now walking towards the witness stand.

_You can do it, breathe._

As the Defense, Kouyou questioned his blond friend throughly, watching his amber eyes sending him gazes full of meanings. “Do you recognize the man present here as Shiroyama Yuu?” was the first question Akira responded with a solemn yes.

Then Kouyou asked him what happened ten years prior and listened -for the nth time on his part- how Yuu questioned his friends about his absence at school, panicking when he understood he was in danger.

He listened to when they found the dead children in the crashed bus, he made sure the entire court listened while the raven took the only survivor so he could be transfered in a safe place. “Did Mr. Shiroyama coerced you or your friends to follow him in the mines?” Kouyou asked, watching down on the list of questions he still had to ask. “No, never. He was almost angry at us for following and trying to help, sincerely” Akira chuckled.

The blond witness grinned while looking at Yuu’s perplexed gaze, cocking an eyebrown in his direction.

And Kouyou felt the judge watch him with a strange expression, almost confused for the amount of new informations on that case. “This is unheard, sincerely…” Hide spoke slowly, putting down the dossier he was browsing. “One last question, Mr. Suzuki. You followed Mr. Shiroyama to save one of your friends that was kidnapped… How Mr. Shiroyama acted when you found him?” Kouyou looked directly into his friend’s eyes.

Flashback appeared in both their pupils, of Akira holding on his weak but still battling frame, saying he promised Yuu he would save him.

It was all too vivid, still, together the now recurring pain in his healed leg. “Objection!” the procurator shouted. “How the accused acted in front of one of his victims it’s not releva-” “Rejected, procurator. Let the Defense finish. This is finally a new song I hear from this case, I want to listen it in its entirety.” the judge interrupted, eyes flashing towards the woman on the other side of the courtroom.

When silence fell again, Akira swallowed nervously before he cleared his throat. “Mr. Shiroyama found and freed my friend.” he said, looking at Kouyou’s before directing his gaze on the judge. “When I managed to have a hold on him, Mr. Shiroyama was fighting back one of the traffickers and I still remember clearly him shouting ‘ _take him out’_ to me.”.

Rumors and chatter started to form in the courtroom, jury murmuring to each other while Kouyou nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Suzuki. You can step off… your Honor, If I don’t come off too bold, may I call my second and last witness? She was one of the kidnapped child, but despite being in her late teens she still remember everything perfectly.” the honey-blond turned his head, motioning his sister to come forth, pointing her the chair that Akira just emptied.

And like that Satsuki stood up from the crowd, walking down the center aisle to go sit down.

She had a nervous expression on her face, that she tried to swipe away hooking a lock of her chestnut-hair around her ear. “Can you state your name, miss?” Kouyou asked her and she nodded, holding tight her hands in her lap. “My name’s Takashima Satsuki.” her voice left her throat a little trembling.

“Wait a moment, Defense.”

Judge Hide immediately leaned towards the girl and the attorney, watching them closely. “You called your own sister to testify, Mr. Takashima?” he mumbled stupefied, and Kouyou nodded gravely. “She’s a key witness, your Honor. I swear it’s not a family matter, at all.” the tall honey-blond whispered back.

Silence fell on them, before the judge just huffed, moving his hands again. “Fine, everything’s better than the usual gab. You can continue.” Hide then lamented, relaxing more on his high-up seat.

Kouyou almost smiled as he nodded, turning to watch his now a little fearful sister. “Miss Takashima, do you recognize the man in the courtroom as Shiroyama Yuu?” he asked, slightly walking on the side of the witness seat, pointing the raven at her.

She looked at the black, now shiny pearl that were the man’s eyes and she nodded again. “Yeah, it’s him… And I wanna add, the six-years-old me still wants to merry him.” she spoke with now a little smile on her lips.

Chuckles echoed in the room, the jury chatting again among each other. “Silence, please…!” Hide said without a pinch of amusement, hitting the flat of his hand on the wood in front of him.

Kouyou almost groaned, before returning to his questioning. “Miss Takashima, do you remember seeing him on the bus that took you and your class to the mines?” the blond attorney asked, receiving back a “no, not at all”.

“Did you see Mr. Shiroyama at the mines?” Kouyou queried her again and Satsuki looked at his brother’s face, nervous. “Yes, I saw him there.”.

Her reply immediately sparked more hushed gossips around the courtroom. “And what did he do in the mines, Miss Takashima?” Kouyou pressed, his lips now stretched into a thin line.

That was something the siblings rarely spoke about and Kouyou never managed to take out all the informations from Satsuki prior that day.

So it was nerve-wrecking for both of them. “He… He and Akira… I-I mean Mr. Suzuki came from down the tunnel, not the entrance where the smugglers were…” she started to tell, her hands trembling against her thighs. “Mr. Shiroyama had a thing… a hammer in his hand and broke the padlock. I remember it very well, because the noise of the metal scared me a lot since-” her voice broke suddenly.

Kouyou watched as she breathed in and out a couple of times and after a while, he felt guilty.

Making her relive everything was unfair… after all the years of therapy she went to, together with him… “You can step off if you don’t feel to–” “No… No I can do it!” the siblings spoke hurriedly between each other.

The girl finally rose her hands and gripped the barrier around the witness stand, stopping Kouyou from sending her away. “Sorry, I was saying…” she kept going on, after what seemed an eternity. “Since our other teacher, Mr. Kamijo, shot my twin sister killing her.” Satsuki turned to watch the judge, her eyes slightly twinkling with tears. “Mr. Kamijo is the man that Shiroyama Yuu murdered, right?” Hide asked.

Kouyou nodded again, his hair swaying near his cheekbones before he walked back to the Defense table, grabbing a couple of papers.

He noticed Yuu’s eyes stab right through him, trying to pry him open from the coldness he was constantly wrapping himself in.

_It’s not the right time, you dummy…_

The honey-blond, tall attorney than walked back, shaking the paper in front of him with a cough clearing his voice. “Police said that Kamijo Yuji was found dead, eight shots at the head. Officer Gackt himself filed it as murder, but if my witness is right… and I highly doubt she isn’t… that was _not_ a murder, but self-defense.” Kouyou then handled more paper to the judge, almost chuckling when he saw the man overloaded.

Kouyou turned his head towards the procurator, seeing her face devastated at the notice. “Also, as I studied the past appeals I noticed that it was never brought up the fact that _no doctor_ has treated the evident strangulations signs around my client’s neck at the moment of the arrest. Nor no one ever called his personal psychologist, asking about his rather violent behavior… they would’ve found that Mr. Shiroyama has since long suffered of a very active and proven mental disorder regarding anger control in high-stress situations.”.

The blond was practically on fire, spurting word after word, stringing his harangue so professionally that he would pat himself on the back.

He questioned his sister a little more, asking if the raven ever had problems relating to her or any other child, then he asked if the procurator had queries.

No one _dared_ to speak up, to break that line of truth that Kouyou was weaving in the courtroom like the most artistic spider. “Miss Takashima, you can step off. Thank you for your contribution.” the tall lawyer said more softly and Satsuki smiled at him brightly, brushing away a stray tear that managed to roll down her cheek.

She then walked away from the witness seat and when she passed near Yuu, the only thing that she could do was smiling at the raven sitting at the table.

Kouyou never thought he would see the austere Judge Hide look so distraught and confused by the evidence he was presented. “This case will be the death of me, I swear… I dismiss the court for a ten minutes break.” the man said almost tired.

 

] [] [] [] [

 

Ten minutes flew by in a second, Kouyou couldn’t even grasp a sip of water from the nearest water fountain that he already had to go back to the courtroom, walking briskly towards the Defense table.

Sitting down next to Yuu without even noticing his now persistent gaze, the honey-blond attorney watched the procurator call Officer Gackt to the witness seat like every other appeal… and he coulnd’t ask for a better revenge.

He smirked as he saw Gackt being questioned about Yuu’s arrest and what him and his squad found in the man’s house. “I’ll leave the rest to the Defense, your Honor.” the woman spoke with an annoyed voice, going back to her seat.

Finally, Kouyou stood up and walked slowly towards Gackt, seeing his face twitch as he recognized the attorney in front of him. “Good day, officer. May I ask you to re-state what you found in my client’s home?” Kouyou spoke slowly and strangely gently.

The honey-blond already knew what the police found, the photos were in the dossier since the beginning: old newspaper clips taped on the four wall of the living room, strings connecting everything multiple times.

Annotations in the scribbled handwriting of the raven speaking about places, dates, numbers and names.

The first time Kouyou saw the evidences of that room, he remembered the first time he and Yuu met: he had a big roll of tape around his wrist.

Probably the man was setting out that specific room. “…And doing a cross-evaluation, we discovered multiple places that man wrote down were subjected to children kidnappings in the prior fifteen years.” Gackt concluded, his chest out and head propped up.

The blond attorney hummed, nodding silently for a few seconds, before shifting through the documents he had. “Officer Gackt, you’re actually stationed in Twin Falls, Idaho, right?” Kouyou asked, noticing how Gackt seemed confused by the question. “Is correct, yes–” “And before the case in question, happened here in Utah, you were in Nebraska… And before that you were in both Kansas and Arkansas.” Kouyou’s voice fell cold outside his plush lips.

Gackt stood there silently for a bunch of seconds, slightly crooking his head on one side. “Yes, is correct. I get thrown around a lot in my field of work.” Gackt uttered, his eyes narrowing.

The tall attorney smiled. “Your curriculum states you graduated from Tennessee Law Enforcement Academy pretty late, eleven years prior the starting of this case…” Kouyou continued to speak, walking back and forth in front of the officer.

The procurator stood up from her seat, slamming her hands on the table.

A roar echoed in the room, the sudden noise startling Yuu in his seat. “Objection! The Defense is clearly attacking my witness-” “The procurator is right, are you accusing the witness in some way or form?” Hide watched Kouyou remain solid on his feet. “I’m just setting the foundation for the last part of my speech, your Honor…” Kouyou then started to take photos out of the dossier he was holding.

The final blow was coming, he could feel the victory on his fingertips. “Let’s examine a little better your evidence for Mr. Shiroyama’s incrimination. He had clips of kidnappings plastered on his living room, sure, but can you read me the places and dates of these particular shoots?” the honey-blond questioned, lending photo after photo.

“Nebraska 2015, Kansas 2013, Arkansas 2010…” Gackt spoke, his voice starting to be completely devoid of his previous cockiness. “It’s strange that Mr. Shiroyama randomly wanted to kidnap children from the same states you just left… what, one year prior? Isn’t it _Officer_? Or I should call you _Father_?” Kouyou grinned to him, before lowering his gaze on the last photos he was gripping.

The jury started to mutter again, confusion seeping in every present in the courtroom.

Everyone but Yuu, that was now holding on the edge of the table as he watched the straight shoulders of his attorney sway gently as he took another page.

His fingers were whitening around them, but the rest of his body was winded like a chord, tensed up for the last meters he needed to make in that strenuous journey. “Palm Harbor, Florida 2004. Town in tragedy while people say goodbye to little Shiroyama Ryo, eight years old. Family and friends thanked priest Gatsuko Oshiro for the heartfelt eulogy.”.

Kouyou’s voice reverberated in the room, wrapping everything in pure, hard-cored silence.

Judge Hide watched with his eyes enlarged, as he saw the photos Kouyou handled him: the man pictured in it seemed like the officer, but he wasn’t too shocked to say something.

The air grew thicker as Kouyou walked near the witness stand, hunching over the wooden barricade around it. “You took them, scooped them empty and had the audacity to speak grand words for them… did you jerk off in the rectory after every fucking funeral?” he finally growled back, under his breath. “This is my business now, nothing personal Gackt…”.

Hazel fell into the lightless darkness that were Gackt’s eyes, both the men watching into each other’s soul: determination crashing hard against coldness and violent affront, sending sparks between them.

Kouyou would talk more, but the judge asked him to let the witness step off, so he could look better at the new evidence the defense brought -again, the man probably had his brain melting-.

Also, the judge asked Gackt to stay in the view of his fellow officers and that sentence made Kouyou grin as he proudly started walking towards the Defense table.

But the honey-blond underestimated something: he gave his shoulder to a man still equipped with a gun.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -1 for the end of the fic! I'm so excited and sad at the same time!! çwç  
> I have a couple of suggested songs for this chapter:  
> The first half ► [Bohnes - 12 Rounds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tbSSQqaSmk)  
> The second half ► [Calum Scott - You are the reason](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96bpvMCfBfo)

_“Palm Harbor, Florida 2004. Town in tragedy while people say goodbye to little Shiroyama Ryo, eight years old. Family and friends thanked priest Gatsuko Oshiro for the heartfelt eulogy.”_

Yuu never thought he would ever hear that news again.

He felt a stab in the heart as he saw what he thought was Kouyou lean to speak softly to Gackt, the face of the Officer now drained of every expression.

In that moment, Yuu noticed the slight tremble of the man’s shoulders, his arms slowly moving in the shade of the witness stand’s barrier.

Time thickened as Kouyou turned to walk towards him, a smug painted on his plush lips, and the raven could feel the air vibrate at each step of the tall attorney.

He heard a softer click and his black irises shifted on Gackt now raging form, seeing him rising the black silhouette of a gun.

Yuu felt his own heart pump the blood up in his ears, so violently the only thing he heard as he moved was the liquid thumping of his internal organs.

Tugging hard on the chains blocking him at the heavy table, Yuu tightened his teeth so much they creaked in his mouth.

A gun.

Pointed directly at Kouyou’s oblivious back.

_Not again, not again, not again…!_

Clink!

One metal hoop after the other, the raven’s right hand freed itself to grab the nearest thing he could: his fingers squeezed the half-filled water bottle that Kouyou took with him from the break and launched it at full-force.

It grazed Kouyou’s body and impacted against Gackt’s hand, making his aim deviate at the last moment available.

What seemed to take an eternity to complete, the whole action span finished in two split seconds, from the time Gackt pulled out his Beretta to the moment the weapon shot, hitting the marble of the courtroom’s flooring.

Some people of the jury screamed as they saw Gackt jump over the witness seat and threw himself forward: with a quick motion of his hands he gave a hard blow to Kouyou’s face with the grip of the weapon, then grabbing him with an arm around his neck.

Yuu stood up from the chair like a fury, arching his whole body when the chain stopped him violently in his tracks “You fucker–!”.

He was still bound to the table, his binding chains shaking and tinkling for the sheer force of his tugs. “OFFICERS!” Hide shouted in alarm, standing up to walk himself in a safer place.

Kouyou took both his hands to grasp at Gackt’s forearm, stumbling when he felt the air starting to lack from his lungs.

He ignored the throbbing pain on his left cheek from the previous hit, too engrossed in the shock of the moment. “You’re really lucky, kid… no one survived me for so long…” Gackt panted, his hot breath grazing Kouyou’s ear shell.

Immediately after, the honey-blond felt the hard, cold barrel of the gun press against his temple. “What will you do with your dog chained up, Takashima?” Gackt spoke spoke again, his teeth now showing in the relentless grin he was making.

Like a wolf baring his fangs before eating his prey.

“Back off…!” Gackt then barked at the two officers running with their own guns drawn. “BACK OFF OR I FUCKING SHOOT HIS BRAINS OUT!” the man shouted angrily.

Kouyou grunted, feeling the other’s forearm choking him painfully. “You… forget… I’m not a kid… anymore…!” the honey-blond hissed before moving his hand up: he gripped hard at the gun’s barrel, swiftly pushing it up and away from his head.

The taller then jerked his elbow back, crashing it against the officer’s ribs as hard as he could.

One step backwards.

Kouyou dind’t stop and as he turned on his heels -gun still clutched in his palm-: he rose a knee to sink it once, twice in Gackt’s stomach, seeing him hunch forward with a strangled growl.

Two step backwards.

Gackt wheezed as he felt his lungs deflate, but immediately he tried to jab a punch at Kouyou’s face, freeing his gun from the attorney’s hold as he ducked to deviate a fist.

Kouyou saw the man in front of him grip both his hands on his gun now, pointing it directly at his face, the cold metal almost scratching his nose.

Fear made the honey-blond still on his feet, thinking there was no training that could help deviate a point-blank shot, but as soon as the gun watched him in the eyes, it fell down together with the arms holding it.

Gackt’s hands trembled while his whole body slowly started to wobble back, his dark eyes enlarging in his skull.

Then, the officer slumped on the ground with raspy rattles, his free hand creeping up to the back of his neck.

Kouyou discovered himself without breath as he noticed what Gackt’s fingertips touched with a pained gasp: a single ball-point pen was sticking out of his flesh, blood slowly pearling around it. “For the love of God, take him out!” Hide spoke to the officers that now crowded around Gackt’s form. “This clears a lot of things…” the judge added.

Kouyou didn’t even hear made a little speech, declaring his client now free from every accusation in light of the recent events.

Kouyou’s eyes were only on Yuu, his body standing and his chest heaving as his free hand was smeared in blood.

He saved him, again.

The blond attorney couldn’t stop a little smile, seeing his emperor’s eyes light up at that motion.

 

] [] [] [] [

 

When finally the court got dismissed and the people present started to walk outside, Satsuki sprinted to his brother, hugging him tightly to her chest with a little jump. “You worried us so much!!” she almost cried, looking up to Kouyou’s face.

She saw the bruise form on his cheekbone, but that was hidden by the brightest smile she ever saw on his brother’s lips since a decade. “Sorry dumpling… I didn’t expect for him to act immediately. It’s better for us anyway, right?” he hugged her back, taking a couple of deep breaths.

Akira was inching them with a grin, patting his friend’s back as soon as he reached him. “Jesus Christ Kou, I almost lost you again to a fucking gun…! Just hole yourself into a fucking cloistered convent, at this point!!” he laughed, seeing Kouyou pout to him with a fake annoyed look. “I survive a personal attack and you speak with me like that? Great friend you are, Aki…!” the blond jokingly pushed Akira on his chest.

All the tension, all the nervousness, all those years literally lost into trying to fabricate the perfect legal defense for Yuu… and now they won.

It was something Kouyou dreamed every night, the only dream that kept his nightmares away. “Hey…HEY! Shiroyama! You’re not off the hook yet!” a police officer shouted from the other side of the courtroom where the three were still idling.

Like an orange bolt, Yuu divided the little group and his handcuffed hands rose to grab Kouyou by the white collar of his shirt, pushing him back with such force the taller almost fell on the ground. “It’s _you_ …!” Yuu spoke through the leathery mask.

His voice was painfully hoarse, Kouyou noticed it immediately.

How much time has passed since the man spoke properly to someone? “Tell me it’s you…!” Yuu added, his eyes flashing with hurt, pain, anger… and a microscopic light of home glinting into his black irises.

Kouyou remained silent for a moment, passing his hazel eyes from the older to the police officer now walking towards them, obviously worried that the prisoner was going to attack them. “Is fine, he’s not a threat.” Kouyou spoke severely, rising a hand to stop the policeman.

He couldn’t let anyone hurt Yuu anymore, not under his sight.

Yuu pressed more his clenched fist against Kouyou’s collarbones, his figure shaking and his face contracted for what the honey-blond could see. “IT HAS TO BE YOU! FUCKING TELL ME!” he then roared against the attorney’s delicate, now more mature face.

Yuu’s eyes were quivering, shifting from one zone of Kouyou’s pale oval to the other, asking himself if that was reality or just another trick of his mind.

And the raven almost choked a sob when he saw the same gentle, warm smile that always crossed the honey-blond he remembered. “I’m sorry I took so long, Yuu…” Kouyou whispered, moving both his hands up now, caressing the dark-haired’s with long, soft strokes.

Like calming down a scared animal with delicate pets. “It’s… You’re… alive… _fuck_ …!” Yuu’s last word got strangled in the back of his throat, while the pressure of million of different emotions exploded at the same time.

So much time as passed since he felt such release, such _relief_.

Yuu bowed his head forward, down until his forehead grazed at his own shaking fists.

Kouyou was there with him.

He was alive.

He was the most beautiful man he ever landed eyes upon.

Like a rare butterfly emerged from the shy cocoon he was years before.

Yuu cried without even noticing it, thick and heavy tears sliding off his dark eyelashes and falling in the crevice of the leather mask against his skin, following that border until they trickled down his neck.

He didn’t have words for what he was feeling in that moment, the powerful hit in the stomach and finally the warmth, firsts sparks of happiness rekindling his dead heart.

Kouyou felt his own chest tighten in seeing the man apparently looking so defeated and he snaked both his hands down, cupping each side of his masked face with his palms, making him look up to him. “I know it’s… it’s hard, but please stay calm and cooperative… In less than a week I’ll come to take you when they’ll release you… I’ll be there to take you out as I did here toda–!” Kouyou couldn’t finish the sentence.

The tall attorney was left speechless as he felt Yuu’s forehead now pressed against his own, one of his hands grasped in his shorter hair of his nape.

Kouyou could see every inch of his face so clearly it was almost surreal: each new wrinkle of his handsome face, his squeezed-shut eyes still pouring tears that wet the leather against his skin.

His knitted eyebrows and the hint of a smile visible through the little, barred window on the front of the mask.

That was better of a kiss.

Seeing him searching his presence was so much better than a common -but always welcomed, mind you!- kiss of ever-after.

“I though I lost you…” the soft murmur coming from Yuu’s hidden lips traveled the air like a wisp of warmth, that Kouyou breathed in with an apologetic smile. “I was the one losing you… and I revenged us both.” the lawyer tilted his head back and left a kiss between the other’s arched brows.

“I’ll be back for you at the prison… I promise, Yuu.”

 

] [] [] [] [

 

In the four days that preceded Yuu’s release from the prison, Kouyou had the pleasant job to inform Yuu’s parents.

His mother cried of joy throughout the entire call while his father asked to be present too when their son will get out. “It will be a wonderful surprise, I agree.” Kouyou spoke softly, an eternal smile on his face.

He then sent an e-mail to Yuu’s psychologist to let him know that his help contributed to the man’s liberation, getting back an ecstatic reply.

> _[I’m sincerely happy to hear this wonderful news, Mr. Takashima! I hope to see Mr. Shiroyama again to resume our therapy sessions.]_

And also, Kouyou had to clean up his entire apartment, if he ever wanted to host the man until the police gave him back his house.

Akira, Takanori and even Yutaka -now living down in the south with his wife and a big-ass restaurant- came in his help, jokingly shaming the taller of them for the mess he lived in the last ten or so years. “Did you ever thought about _tossing out_ the fucking ashes of your ashtray?? You filthy animal…!” Takanori’s muffled voice made everyone laugh as he dumped countless number of cigarette butts.

In the day Kouyou cleaned, reordered, fixed and moved, while in the night he fell into his bed with a happy sigh.

To Kouyou, it seemed like he finally beat the ultimate Boss battle and now he was living the last cutscene before the credits roll.

The evening before Yuu’s release, Kouyou heard his phone chime a message, coming from his mother.

_[ **Mom:** I heard the news at the TV and… I’m sorry I doubted your words, darling… I’m really a shameful mother.]_

Kouyou read the text again and again, feeling his eyes burn with held-back tears.

With a smile he gripped more the phone, swiping left on his mother’s contact before putting the phone near his earlobe.

“Hi mom…”

 

] [] [] [] [

 

The fateful morning of Yuu’s release, Kouyou drove his car -a second hand, but beautiful black Chevrolet Cruze- to the airport where Yuu’s parent would land with their plane.

When he met them, Kouyou noticed how much the man he loved looked like his father, an Asian-American handsome man in his early seventies.

Then, as he approached them with a light jog, the honey-blond saw the same, wonderful smile of Yuu on his mother’s face, a small but fierce Scottish woman with long, wavy, silvery hair and light-green eyes. “Mr. Takashima, we’re so happy to know you.” Shiroyama senior smiled at him, reaching out for and handshake.

Kouyou’s brain jolted for a moment, thinking how much it would be embarrassing that type of encounters would really be… after all, Yuu already met his parents and now Kouyou meeting the man’s… well… “It’s a pleasure to meet both of you, Mr. and Mrs. Shiroyama.” Kouyou used a gentle, submissive yet professional tone, handshaking the man and then the woman in front of him.

“My car is out in the parking lot, please follow me.”

With that phrase coaxing the old couple, the three walked out, got on the attorney’s car and Kouyou drove them all along the road he watched every day from his office, finally approaching the Utah State Prison.

The building was of simple cement, gray and squarish with miles of electrified fences all around it. “Can you wait here in the car? I’ll take care of all the release documentations inside.” Kouyou smiled as he watched the couple nod to him through the rearview mirror and as he opened the car’s door, the heat of the day hit him.

Kouyou walked briskly towards the gated entrance of the prison, nervously smoothing out the front of his tan suit.

He greeted the police officers guarding the main door, before opening them and reaching the front desk: the woman managing the prisoners’ documents and personal bearings made him sign a couple of papers before handing him a plastic back.

Inside there were things like Yuu’s wallet, his cellphone, his leather jacket and two pieces of jewelry Kouyou always saw on the man, day in and day out. “Mr. Shiroyama will be escorted here in a couple of minutes, if you want to wait for him.” the receptionist spoke to him and the taller attorney nodded a couple of time, moving towards the small bunch of seats near the door.

He was feeling suddenly anxious now, for some motive.

What if something happened to Yuu in those four days? What if the wardens beat him up as a goodbye-gift?

And if he encountered Gackt again in the prison and they killed each other??

_Calm down, he’ll be here in a second… and he’ll have that amazing smile of his and his eyes would be all shiny again…!_

Kouyou took a deep breath while pacing back and forth, taking out his phone so he could focus on something else but the heavy sounds of cell doors opening and closing, the screeching metal too similar to the one he heard years before, in the makeshift cell in the mines.

He only wanted to take Yuu out, quickly. “You’re awaited, mister. Have a nice day and congratulations again.” Kouyou heard the woman at the front desk speak cheerfully, then his heard amped up its beats as he heard him.

“Thank you missus.”

His voice was still weak and hoarse, but his tone was again warm and calm, soothing to the poor attorney’s mind.

Kouyou turned and his lips automatically stretched into a large smile as he laid his hazel irises on his dashing emperor, his natural beauty still shining through the dark bags under his eyes and the thick shadow of a beard on his jaw.

He was wearing the faded jeans and the simple t-shirt he had when he came in his rescue, dark spots where Kamijo’s blood dried out and stained the fabric.

The attorney noticed how carved the man’s arms were, his muscles even more toned since the last time he saw them.

Veins drawing intricate, soft designs under his paler skin. “Kou–” “Mr. Shiroyama, please this way.” Kouyou grinned to the man while interrupting his sentence, watching his body walking towards him almost too eager.

As soon as the raven reached the taller, the honey-blond hunched a little on him and hushed a soft “ _Can you wait a little more? I have a surprise for you, first._ ” before opening the front door.

Yuu’s smiling face furrowed at the younger’s whisper, but he followed him meekly towards the main gate, taking in the fresh air like a thirsty man gulped down water.

It was so nice to breathe again, both physically and emotionally, Yuu never thought the easiest thing to do would be the most precious.

They walked down the paved road, exited the fence and crossed the road to the dark, shiny car of the attorney. “Nice car…” Yuu chuckled almost tiredly, but his feet stopped immediately as he saw the back doors open.

Then, a happy shout reached his ears, a voice that he didn’t expect to hear. “ **MO LURAN!** ” Yuu’s mother got off the car as her light eyes watched her son approach.

She and Yuu’s father walked up to their boy, the old woman hugging the very life out of him while the old man passed an arm around his son’s shoulders, squeezing him sideways to his chest.

Kouyou smiled even more as he saw Yuu’s eyes water, his face scrunch up in the heavy, sweet emotions of the moment.

The raven’s arms snaked around his parents, speaking softly to them in both English and Scottish as he replied to their questions, over and over again, until his mother cupped his face with her palms. “ **Ye shoods hae tauld me ye waur in sae much pain, mah loon.** ” she whispered, stretching her neck to plant a soft kiss on her son’s cheekbone.

Yuu chuckled inside the silent sobs he was almost drowning in, feeling his chest tighten. “ **Ah didne want tae fash yerse ye... sorry Maw** ” the raven replied with his eyes now closing.

It was a warming picture, for Kouyou, seeing the pain melt away from the man he loved.

“Honey, let Yuu go take a good shower and a bunch of sleep, would you?” Yuu’s father snickered, seeing his wife still hugging their son tightly. “Also it’s better for us to move before we miss the check-in at the hotel!” the man spoke again, now looking into his boy’s eyes.

The confusion was evident on the raven’s face, as he heard his father speak about hotels and rooms. “You will…stay?” Yuu asked, his head tilting on one side. “Yes, we’ll be in a good hotel downtown for a couple of days in case you need us. Mr. Takashima offered to pay for it despite we firmly said him not to!” the old man immediately replied, jokingly pointing at Kouyou with his thumb.

The raven, hearing his father’s words, rose his head and turned to watch the still figure of the honey-blond, his now slightly larger hand rising to fix his maroon tie around his neck, his pale cheeks tinting with a reddish color. “Yeah, it’s better if we all go…” Yuu felt his heart gush out a clenching sweetness, as he now fully recognized his shy, sweet lanky boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mo luran: my pretty boy  
> Mah loon: my boy


	27. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll see you for dinner tonight, ok? I still have some legal things to speak about with Mr. Takashima.”

Yuu has never been a saint, he said his good amount of lies to both his parents throughout his entire life -especially in his teenager years-, but never he thought he would say such colossal lie _and_ the most pure truth at the same time.

Because he sure spoke about legal things with Kouyou, while the attorney drove both of them back at his apartment, saying to him that he already made all the necessary documents for the police to give back his home and the rest of his belongings.

But at the very first traffic light that stopped the blond’s car, Yuu grabbed at his nape hard and yanked him down on him.

The first kiss they shared in a decade tasted like the dust Yuu breathed in prison and like the ashes of the million cigarettes Kouyou smoked.

Their lips crashed needly one against the other, the taller finally detaching his hands from the steering wheel to sink his fanned fingers in Yuu’s longer, black hair.

The taller swept that inky locks away from his loved’s face, eyes fluttering to a close in the harsh sweetness of the moment.

Yuu immediately took the lead and tilted his head to the side, licking at Kouyou’s bottom lip, biting into its softness until the honey-blond left out a soft moan of both pain and pleasure.

Goosebumps rushed down Yuu’s spine as he heard that delicious noise coming from the other and his fingers twitched when Kouyou opened his mouth to deepen the kiss.

Hands searched desperately each other, the younger clawing at older’s clothes while he felt his guts melt into a scalding-hot mess: he never remembered the real goodness of feeling Yuu’s tongue caressing and bruising sweetly at his own.

Sure his thick stubble was slightly rough on his skin, but Kouyou wouldn’t mind too much.

The raven’s kiss was the only thing that mattered now, the light smacks and the now ragged breaths that echoed in the car, everything wrapped by a soft a jazz song coming off the radio.

Kouyou slowly leaned more towards the raven, feeling his hands caressing down his neck and tugging at his tie with impatience.

### HOOOOONK!

The newly-reunited couple jerked on their seats as the car behind them honked, the traffic light turned green in front of them. “Fucking car horns…!” Yuu muttered as he puffed out a chuckle, his left hand patting Kouyou’s right thigh affectionately. “Some things never change, uh?” he then added with a wink towards the taller, his lungs still heaving after the heated kiss.

Kouyou only nodded silently, his legs shaking as he started made the car move again.

Oh the fire was raging again inside his blood alright, as it never was before.

Being a more mature man, now, Kouyou could exactly pinpoint each spark of hunger that moved in his bloodstream, along his body from the blob of warmth that was Yuu’s palm on his leg.

His face was flustered, his hair messier and his eyes a couple of shiny beads, fixed in front of himself as he tried to focus on the street.

Trying really hard to silence the small voice in the back of his head screaming to him to _speed up and reach the damn apartment already!_

Kouyou drove along the quickest roads he knew, finally parking in the private parking lot of the complex of apartments where he lived and leaving the vehicle in a flutter, his hand immediately searching for Yuu’s figure walking next to him.

The older’s arm, well wrapped around his hips, sent every kind of chills up and down Kouyou’s skin, making the hair on his nape rise. “You got yourself a nice place.” Yuu mumbled as he tilted his head backwards, watching the building in front of them.

Then he screened the zone with his dark irises, watching the well-kept courtyard and -inside- the cleanliness of the place. “Yeah, it’s… cheaper than it looks. I-I had to find some place near my office to… well, maximize the time.” Kouyou replied with his voice barely managing to exit.

Yuu snickered, shaking his head as the honey-blond walked through a hallway, taking out his flat’s keys.

He followed suit, watching the younger fumble to find the right key. “You fought like a fucking tiger and _now_ you get all flustered on me, lanky boy?” the raven spoke low, pressing his body against Kouyou’s in the meantime.

His tone was thicker than before, darker and a little rough.

“You grew up so well, but I still love how fucking shy you get.” Yuu added with a huffed laugh.

That was the voice of sex incarnated, that came escorted with the scalding-hot touch of the man along his back.

A caress that stopped on the small of his back, threatening to dip lower with a tantalizing movement of fingers.

In that moment, as Kouyou opened his front door, he shamefully remembered something really, _really_ important: in those ten years he barely jerked off when he didn’t forced himself up all night studying, let alone even thinking about having sex with someone that _wasn’t_ Yuu.

He came mentally unprepared to what was going to happen.

If the man would find him too awkward? Or worst, if Kouyou would disappoint him in some way?

Kouyou coulnd’t even have time to panic about still being virgin that Yuu’s hand gripped the back of his suit jacket, sending him against the nearest wall.

The raven immediately pressed himself against Kouyou and seized his lips again, kissing him lightly less voraciously but more passionately, both his hands now cradling the other’s hips. “I… fucking missed you… so much…” Yuu mumbled between the kisses, breathing through Kouyou’s lungs again and again.

He shifted the aim of his effusions, kissing along the honey-blond’s jaw down to his neck, sighing as he left a couple of nibbles on his skin.

Kouyou, on the other hand, snaked his arms around Yuu’s neck and shoulders, hugging him while he tilted his head on the side: waves of shivers exploded inside him at every soft bite the raven left on him.

He was decisively growing harder by the second and that lightly worried him. “H-hey…” the taller chuckled shyly. “I-I really wanna do this, but… uhm… get comfy, first… O-okay?” Kouyou sighed when he felt the flat of Yuu’s tongue slowly follow his pulsing jugular. “I’m gettin’ comfy, Kou…” hazily replied the raven.

Being so near Kouyou was sending his mind into a blissful state of trance, oddly enough.

All the anxiety, the fears that made his time in prison living hell… puff! Disappeared like a popped bubble. “I mean… take a shower and change clothes, you dummy.” the honey-blond now sincerely chuckled, moving his hands from their place between the older’s shoulder blades towards his face, separating him from the angle of his neck. “I can lend you some clothes… If you don’t mind wearing some band shirts!” the younger smiled.

Yuu blinked a couple of times before letting a smirk rise on his lips, leaning to kiss Kouyou’s plump mouth with affection. “You’re telling me I stink? Ungrateful brat.” he said before grinning more and landing a last kiss on the other’s lips and making a couple of steps away from his body.

It was really difficult to stop the frenzy that both were feeling, but Kouyou really needed to order his thoughts and Yuu really longed for a warm shower and a good shaving.

So the two divided, with Yuu strolling slowly towards the door that Kouyou said to be the bathroom -stealthily snooping around in the meantime- and the honey-blond waited for him to disappear over the door before he paced towards the bedroom.

He opened the wardrobe and took out a large, black t-shirt with a harsh, red design on the front.

Then Kouyou searched for a pair of dark-gray briefs and neatly put everything at the feet of the bad, his mind starting to drift off like when he was younger.

Sitting down on the mattress, Kouyou absentmindedly untied the tie’s knot, leaving it around his neck like a reddish snake: he should be absolutely happy to have Yuu there with him, without being a scandal, without being a secret to anyone.

Instead, Kouyou asked himself if Yuu created some fake adult-Kouyou in his mind, making up unreal expectations for their first time together.

Then, the honey-blond started to think a little more deeper about making love with Yuu and his cheeks flushed red at the thoughts; imagery of Yuu’s naked body above him, his pale skin waving in definite muscles and his lips smirking sensually and his eyes watching him.

Devouring him.

Kouyou closed his legs more, out of instinct, and he sank his clasped hands between his thighs.

Was Yuu going to like him? He wasn’t young nor ‘innocent’ as he was ten years before, maybe he wouldn’t like his more mature body?

Kouyou let out a deep sigh, falling backwards on his bed with his eyes closed.

_Calm down, calm down…_

The blond’s mind got suddenly flashed with the memory of Yuu’s face scrunched up in pleasure when they had that hot moment in his old pick-up, his heavy pants and the way he called for his name.

Kouyou rose both his hands and yanked his own glasses off his nose before he could rub his face harshly to try and erase the anxiousness mixed with sexual tension.

Only the fact that was going to happen made him all hot and bothered about it, the lingering kisses of Yuu still pulsing on the skin of his throat. “Ahhhh that’s better…!” Yuu’s sigh came from the bedroom door “I’ll never take for granted the privilege of having a fucking shower, I swear!” hearing the man speaking, Kouyou jerked up on the mattress, planting an elbow to help himself up.

Framed by the entrance of the bedroom, Yuu was stretching his back with only a cerulean towel around his waist and the most of his hair slicked back on his head, a couple of now shiny-black locks brushing his now clean face.

The blond felt his mouth dry up as he let his own eyes travel down the more defined chest of the man, finding little scars glinting here and there, his skin shimmering with water droplets.

_Oh my God… Oh my God…!_

Kouyou let himself indulging on the other’s broad shoulders and down towards his narrow hips… and he didn’t even noticed he licked his own lips in the process. “Okay there, stop undressing me like that! You’re gonna rip my flesh off my bones.” the raven joked, walking slowly towards the still half-laying younger attorney, seeing his reddened face immediately turn to hide against the covers with a mumbled _sorry_.

Yuu sat near Kouyou, looking him getting all worked up. “Oi… I’m not going to rape you or anything, ok?” the man moved a hand and went to interlace his fingers with Kouyou’s, searching for his attention. “I get it’s been… _a lot_ since you and me did things remotely like this, so… we’ll take it slow.” Yuu leaned down, he too falling on the mattress only to nuzzle the younger’s face. “Sorry if I came up pushy, before.” he breathed.

He softly kissed the angle of his lips, before smiling sweetly. “You just look so good and it’s a blow to my self-control, you know?” he added in the same delighted tone he had before, his eyes narrowed like a content cat.

Kouyou rolled on his side, looking directly in Yuu’s eyes and moved both his hands to caress the raven’s face, cupping his jaw before he could lean forward and leave a slow kiss on his chiseled lips.

Then again and again, Kouyou tried to relax while he left butterfly kisses all along the other’s mouth, nibbling at his lower lip in a mere imitation of the passionate kiss they shared in the car. “Yuu I… I’m not… I-I mean… I never did… anything with anyone until now…” the younger spoke softly, his eyes falling down with his lashes quivering. “I don’t know if… I’m good or…!” his demure voice got trapped by Yuu’s lips, the raven’s arm snaking around the thin sides of the honey-blond.

The older was chuckling in that kiss, his face twisted into a disbelieved expression. “You’re even too good for an old man like me, Kou… don’t ever think otherwise…” the raven hushed, his warm breath falling between them and caressing Kouyou’s light locks. “We’ll wait until you’re fine with it, no problem… I’m already fucking happy right n—”.

Yuu would’ve finished his sentence if the younger didn’t crawled on top of him, face still flushed red, but his hazel eyes glistening down on him. “I’m not _that_ good, Yuu” he assured him with a single thread of voice, planting his palms on the older’s shoulders.

And it would look as if they were going to roll in the sheets at any given moment, if it wouldn’t be for Yuu literally burst into laughters.

Kouyou pouted, sat on Yuu’s lap as the raven took one hand on his own face, the other well nestled on the honey-blond’s thigh. “Says the– the one that almost… ahah gave me a fucking stroke the last time you sucked me off!” Yuu giggled between his words, before he rose both his hands to poke at Kouyou’s inflated cheeks.

He was almost thirty, but for the love of God Yuu couldn’t stop loving the blond still intact innocence, especially if the taller pulled on him cute expressions like that. “You’re not good, alright. Fucking _angels_ are jealous of you in any way-shape-or-form, but you’re not good, noooo.” the older’s ironic tone made Kouyou relax his moping look.

Hazel eyes rose to meet black ones, gentle emotions diluting the prior excitement even more now. “You smooth-talker…” muttered Kouyou, leaning down to press his lips again on Yuu’s, silencing him for a good amount of seconds.

As soon as they got in contact with each other, time slowed down again and Kouyou felt the nervousness ease inside his chest.

He pressed a little more in that kiss, sucking on Yuu’s lower lip before he would dip the tip of his tongue between them, fleeing as soon as he felt the raven take his own out.

His little game of chase, Kouyou started to feel the man’s move up his thighs, clawing at his shirt to take it out of his tan trousers. “You devil, act all cute and then attack a poor old man like this…” Yuu’s husky voice made its way to Kouyou’s ear, when the man tilted his head and sank down the taller’s neck, tasting his skin all over again.

The honey-blond was calming down even more, giving in to the warmth rolling in his flesh, but suddenly Yuu’s hold tightened and the raven flipped their positions, yanking a surprised yelp from the younger.

Again teeth and lips devoured each other, the sloppy sounds mixing up with now the more present moans of Kouyou’s velvety voice, his voice well responding to the treatment Yuu was giving him. “If you want me to stop…” the raven spoke softly, watching his loved in his wonderful, slender eyes. “Just tell me, ok?” “But I… never did…” Kouyou muttered, his body shivering between Yuu’s well-turned arms.

The sole vision was making the blond’s mouth water. “Virgins are my kink. Don’t worry about it.” Yuu chuckled in his ear, passing the tip of his tongue around the multitude of piercing he had done in that decade. “Especially if they’re called Kouyou and have a couple of heavenly thighs~” the older chanted smugly.

He tried so hard to make the younger relax, caressing his whole body with his warm palms, opening the jacket of his suit and bruising his pale skin under the white shirt.

And his attempts succeeded, melting Kouyou into a smothered putty, the blond’s heart beating fast inside his chest and his hands running to grip at Yuu’s damp hair while his hips arched just slightly.

The temperature of their cuddles -if you wanted to call those that way- started to rise when Kouyou felt Yuu’s palm gently but steadily rub at his growing erection.

Yuu waited for Kouyou to undress at least the bare minimum, entertaining himself against the taller’s neck and collarbones, leaving behind pinkish marks of his teeth.

He lavished the younger with his tongue, trailing down his body and planting other bites, kisses and colored bruises on Kouyou’s lithe skin. “…Y-Yuu…” the honey-blond called, his voice weak and thick with pleasure.

It was as if time never passed for the two of them: Kouyou felt an unexperienced seventeen-years-old again, under the paws of his handsome emperor, seeing him glance up to him with his dark eyes full of want. “I-it’s… good.” Kouyou reassured him, his hands sluggishly removing the rest of his shirt.

Yuu snickered, nibbling at the hem of the younger’s underwear, tugging at it with his fingers. “Of course it’s good, Kou. It’s _me_ the one adoring you, after all.” he smirked, turning his head to the side to let his lips draw other trails of kisses on the inside of Kouyou’s quivering thighs.

The taller noticed how the man softened his movement when he lapped at his soft and delicate skin, his dusky eyes fluttering shut.

Yuu’s lips sucked circles on Kouyou’s thighs, focusing on the texture of his skin and the thickness of his muscles, the sole thought sending hot-red arrows down to his lower regions.

Like he forgot what he was doing, Yuu’s hands stopped with both his palms on Kouyou’s sides, cuddling him absentmindedly up and down the sweet V shape of the taller’s hips.

Kouyou didn’t know if Yuu found a pretty sensible zone of his body or if it was the sweetness of the moment, but when the older bit a little harsher into his supple flesh, the younger let out a whimper, his fingers curling up and his hips jerking up just so slightly.

The man didn’t even touched his cock during that moment and Kouyou just couldn’t withstand the pressure in his lower abdomen anymore. “ _Nnnhh_ Yuu…” “Impatient, as always…” Yuu uttered, his breath sending electrical sparks up to Kouyou’s heart as it fell on his now wetter skin.

Methodical and precise, Yuu finished to unclothe the marvelous piece of art he had underneath himself and for a moment he remained motionless, letting the view sink in. “It’s not… _my_ fault… you old perv…” Kouyou chuckled breathless, his hands abandoned around his head.

“Ohh it’s my fault now?” Yuu joked back, voice gruff and breathy. “I’ll gladly take the blame, heh…” added then, seeing Kouyou wriggle a little under him, rising his bony fingers to grab at the raven’s nearest wrist: opening his mouth, Kouyou winked at him before enveloping a couple of the man’s fingers in his lips, twisting his tongue around them. “ _Fffffuck_ …!” Yuu growled, eyes enlarging like some other part of himself.

Kouyou was still a bit uncertai, inside his brain, so he had to force Yuu to take the lead, stop being so delicate even if he really appreciate the thought.

He wanted to do it, really, but a little piece of his mind was too engrossed in his self-doubt to fully let go; they would probably reach a stall and Kouyou would hate himself for at least a month. “You’re on a thin line, kid…” Yuu grunted, seeing Kouyou putting up a show for him.

The younger was with his glistening lips open, his tongue passing between the other’s fingers and panting lightly, his eyes narrowing as he nibbled at him.

Both his hands now were around his forearm, massaging his skin. “Push me, then…” Kouyou replied in a moan-like tone.

That was it…!

Yuu yanked his hand away from Kouyou’s hold and sank it between his legs, palming at his erection before sliding down even more, hearing the younger cry out in the sudden sensation of Yuu’s wet fingers circling his entrance.

He poked and prodded, breaking in with his ring finger while his eyes never left Kouyou’s now scrunched-up face, observing his expressions change and battle between pain and pleasure.

Yuu smirked as he saw Kouyou bit his lower lip, inhaling sharply when a second knuckle entered him, hooking up and exiting again. “ _Oh_ God… Yuu…” Kouyou called, his arms weak above his head.

The raven didn’t reply, he just continued to sink inside the younger again and again, passing from one to two fingers in what seemed an eternity, enjoying all the new noises Kouyou was making.

He moaned, whined, pleaded and mewled, his body reactive and arching towards his hand every time he went deep inside him.

Kouyou’s legs shot up instinctively, wrapping around Yuu’s hips and heeling at the towel still around his waist, trying to push against him even more.

That was _way_ better than jerking off, hazily thought the younger before a pang of unbridled pleasure exploded inside his brain: Yuu just scraped at his prostate by chance, while curving his fingers again. “ _Ah-hh_ …! T-there…! _Fuck_ …!” whimpered Kouyou, trembling from head to toe.

The honey-blond was so delicious, Yuu coulnd’t wait a second more. “Tell me you have some lube…” the raven asked, his question falling on the blond’s flushed chest while Yuu hunched over to kiss him again and again, peppering his whole torso in them.

Kouyou opened an eye, hazel irises almost disappearing in the blown-up pupils. “There… should be something… in the nightstand.” he heaved, trying to get a hold on himself.

His body was acting on its own, searching more of Yuu’s presence when he escaped his thighs’ hold around the waist.

And when Yuu crawled above him to reach for the drawer in the nightstand, Kouyou couldn’t help himself but rise his hands to tug the towel down, revealing the man’s boner.

The blond mouthed at Yuu’s erection, approaching his face to nuzzle at it before he could leave a quick dart of tongue against its hot, reddened skin.

He almost chuckled when he heard the man hiss, feeling his hips naturally gyrate against the warm touch. “And… I was the pervy one…” the older muttered, searching for Kouyou’s mouth again and again.

The raven already had the mono-use packet of lube in his hand, but his body wouldn’t move away: Kouyou’s tongue was caressing the underside of his cock bottom to top, sucking on its head each and every time he reached it. “For fuck’s sake, Kou… you’re gonna _hmmm_ –make me cum…” Yuu growled.

He felt Kouyou’s hands press on the back of his legs, pushing him against the wet warmth of his mouth, coercing him into dipping deeper once, twice… and Yuu bowed his head down to watch the younger’s face upside-down.

His cheeks hollowing, red and with a couple of shimmering drops of sweat rolling inside his messy, light hair.

And Yuu’s heart hitched as he saw Kouyou look up to him, through his long lashes. “You fucking tempter…!” the raven’s voice got strangled in the back of his head, jerking his hips forwards a couple of times, feeling Kouyou’s nails scraping down at his skin.

At every slow, methodical lunge, Yuu let a low hum exit his throat and his lips stretched into a grin while both his hands gripped at the headboard of the bed.

His hips swaying in long, liquid movements, his cock feeling all the ridges of Kouyou’s palate. “ _Mmmmhh_ look at you…” he moaned. “All soft and innocent… while in reality you’re a **feckin’ huir, arenae ye**?”.

Kouyou gurgled a soft moan as soon as Yuu spoke to him in his native language, the sharpness of his words sending other sparks of pleasure down his writhing body.

The younger wanted to hear more of him talking with that husky tone, but he started to feel the lack of oxygen take a toll on his brain: all he could do was focus on what he started, wriggling the tongue under the man’s member, sucking hard every time he waved away and relaxing his throat every time he dipped inside.

Yuu watched the honey-blond roll his eyes inside his skull in ecstasy and he let out a huffed chuckled. “Oh you’re… not having it that way…” the raven hummed and with a last sway he exited the younger’s mouth with a wet, noisy smack.

The man quickly opened the lube’s pack and spread it on his hands, rubbing his palms together for a couple of seconds. “Yuu~! That’s not… a hand cream…!” chuckled Kouyou, covering his eyes with a forearm while he tried to stop his own giggled. “ **Haud yer weesht!** Shut up, you’ll thank me later, you ungrateful shit! It’s fucking cold…!” the raven hissed as he coated himself with the lubricant, before lowering his coated palms.

As soon as Yuu’s fingers found their place inside Kouyou again, the taller choked on his laughs, inhaling again as he felt the effectively cold lube loosening him up for good. “See?” Yuu grinned at him for a few seconds.

Then his face fell into the passionate seriousness again and black eyes found hazel ones. “You sure?” he hushed, worried that Kouyou would back off, but the reply came in form of a pair of arms hugging his neck to coax him down, making him drown in a couple of plush, full, rosy lips.

That was all the confirmation he needed and so Yuu’s hands now grabbed the underside of Kouyou’s thighs and lined himself with the other’s entrance, slowly and tentatively pushing against it.

Kouyou was vibrating, holding on Yuu’s hot body, clawing at his back the more the raven opened him up.

The pressure was incredible, both negatively and positively, but the thing that struck Kouyou was the unfamiliar yes wonderful sensation of being filled. “So tight…” Yuu mumbled while he pushed until he was fully seated into the younger.

His body had a sudden twitch and that sent a fit of pain right through Kouyou, making him cry painfully. “Ahfffuck–!” “Shh… shh I’m sorry… it moved on its own, heh… shhhh…” Yuu cooed him gently, passing one hand on his hair while the other drawn random circles on his side.

Kisses as light as feathers caressed Kouyou’s neck, down and up again to his jaw, then on his cheeks, on his closed eyelids, between his furrowed brows and down his nose.

When Yuu’s chiseled lips found the blond’s plump ones, Kouyou managed to forget about the throbbing pain and slowly, really slowly it transformed into thorns of pleasure.

His shallow breath steadied while both his hands hovered on Yuu’s body, passing from his neck, around his shoulders and down his sides, clawing at his muscles when he tried to tentatively press against his cock.

No pain.

Only a smothering warmth that bewitched him even more. “M-Move… please…” Kouyou uttered on Yuu’s lips, licking at them, and the raven couldn’t not oblige to the younger’s mewled desire.

Yuu swayed slowly out of the lean body he had underneath, sliding right back in. “Good?” he asked in a breath, careful to not hurt his beloved, but seeing Kouyou slowly bucking his head back surely was a good sign.

And while the raven continued to increase the motion of his undulating hips, Kouyou felt the rush of hotness crash on him in waves, suffocating him in the most pleasurable way.

Sure there was the smallest tinge of pain in the background of his mind, but hearing Yuu’s heavy sighs and the now louder sound of skin-on-skin… both noises were great distractions. “Y-Yuu… _ahh_ … s-so good… m-more… more…” he moaned, basking in the bliss that was his first love-making.

His first time with his handsome emperor, with his eyes planted on himself and his mouth falling open, showing his tongue darting out to caress one of Kouyou’s nipples.

“Yuu…! _Yes–_ oh God…!”

Kouyou coulnd’t stop looking at Yuu’s muscles shift and inflate under his skin, bathed in the afternoon light coming from the window. “ **Mo ghràdh** …” Yuu mumbled, the thicker language falling on Kouyou’s sweaty flesh.

The honey-blond wanted so much to ask him what did that meant, but in the infinite amount of Yuu’s plunges now quicker and rhythmic, his cock aimed directly into the younger’s Love Button, sending him crying and clawing red marks on the older’s back.

“ _FUCK_ –! Ahhhh-There~! A-ah…!”

There was no more gentleness in the raven’s movements, now, his hips snapping hard against his lover, pushing him against the mattress.

His hands sinking deep in the supple flesh of his thighs, pushing them up so that Kouyou’s long, fawn legs hooked on his shoulders.

Their sways became erratic as both of them watched the blinding light of orgasm in the eye, Kouyou’s voice growing louder and louder while Yuu searched for skin to bite, leaving mark after mark on the lithe, heaving chest under him. “Y-YUuU! Y-YuU PleASE–!” Kouyou found himself begging for release as his muscles clenched around the man’s member.

Taken aback by a moment of pure rampage, Yuu grabbed Kouyou’s waist and rose him from the bed, sinking even deeper inside him as he fucked him vertically with his teeth staining the younger’s neck and collarbones with red patches.

“Kou…Kou…!” he huffed between growls of pleasure and the honey-blond arched back, holding for dear life to the raven until he finally felt the electrical charge flood him, squeezing his throat shut with the bliss of lust.

White ribbons shoot from the younger’s cock, well lodged against Yuu’s abdomen. “H-Holy… fuck…!” he mewled again, rocking hard on the still-pounding erection of the older.

Erection that pulsed in the tighter clench of Kouyou’s ass, filling him up, good and deep with a low growl coming from Yuu, his face hidden in the angle of Kouyou’s throat.

Time stilled as both of them regained a steady breath, Yuu slowly and carefully laying Kouyou back on the bed. “Holy… ahah… fuck…” the blond chuckled, hugging the raven to his chest. “Told ye… I was saving up… for your birthday…” Yuu answered him with a smile tattooed on his lips, eyes closing.

Everything was at its place now, for both of them. “I love you…” Kouyou muttered, leaving a kiss in Yuu’s still damp hair.

“ **Ah loove ye.** ” Yuu whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to every and each person that managed to follow this fic through everything, it really warms my heart seeing comments and kudos!  
> Also I love how all of you just rooted for our dear character until the end, so see this last smutty thing as a personal thank you~  
> There will be no sequel, alas, but maybe I'll squeeze in some spin-off in the far future? I'm not sure, but I hope you'll forgive me if I forget çwç


End file.
